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Why Paganism is Crap, parts I-V

Started by Doktor Howl, August 02, 2011, 08:15:18 PM

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Doktor Howl

From TSC

Part I

Paganism is and always has been crap, whether you are discussing belief in various and sundry dead Gods, or occult beliefs.  For this chapter, we will deal with occult beliefs, as that is the silliest part of the whole mishegoss.

"Magick" is commonly divided into two different belief systems, "actual magic" and "mind hacks".

"Actual magic" is obviously utter bullshit, as can be demonstrated by both the fact that it isn't measureable and repeatable, and the fact that its practicioners are - despite casting a circle, drawing down the moon, and making a public nuisance in the park - the lowest members of their local economy.  If magic worked, you'd expect that they would be able to use it to their benefit, in some manner or another.  If not, why bother?  

It isn't just an expression of faith, after all.  Most religions require worship, but don't require the practice of magic (Catholics and Mormons notwithstanding).  The ones that DO promise that there's some kind of positive net gain to doing so, either now or in the hereafter.  This will be examined further in chapter two.

"Mind hacking" is also bullshit, because the entire concept relies on adding another layer of obscurity between the practicioner and reality as it really is.  You are adding a useless layer of bullshit between you and the Truth.

Both, of course, rely entirely on Confirmation Bias.  You see the world the way you WANT to see it, and then you interpret all the data you receive in a manner that reinforces your belief system.  The data hasn't changed anywhere except inside your head.  You become less and less able to see actual cause & effect, and that, my friends, is a guaranteed way to have a most undesirable interface with the universe, sooner or later.  Probably sooner.

The other thing they have in common is wish fulfillment fantasy.  It's a way of pretending to have power in a world in which you are powerless (no Pagan has ever had power over their own lives, or the lives of anyone other than Pagans lower in the pecking order than themselves).  PROTIP:  Power - or better yet, control - over your own life or the lives of others is gained by taking actual steps in the real world to control your own environment.  This can be in terms of getting a decent job, doing what you want to do with your life, being more assertive with the people around you, or simply not taking any shit off of petty tyrants in your life.

Meanwhile, you're spending a good chunk of your time wearing silly clothes and wondering what color your athame should be (for the "magic is real" crowd) or wanking over a sigil (for the mind hack crowd), instead of doing things that will actually influence your life for the better.

Okay for now,
Dok
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Part II

One of the more interesting things about Pagans is that they don't actually believe in Gods.  They instead believe in things they "work with", which by anyone's definition is a sorry excuse for deities.  "Have you met Thor?  He and I work together...We carpool."

And these Gods they "work with" are pretty Goddamn sanitary, compared to how they were actually worshipped, back in the day.  Odin, for example, was typically worshipped by hanging slaves.  The Irish Gods were bloodthirsty as hell, and the recent attempts to reform the Mexica Gods are laughable in the extreme...If any society ever had it coming, it was the Aztecs and their predecessors.  I mean, hell, if the coming of the Catholic church means a distinct improvement, then your religion is fucked up.

Basically, Pagans tend to be Christians that want to feel special.  In fact, the funniest thing I've seen in years is the "ChristoPagan", which is another way of saying "I don't have any friends, can I hang out at your board?"

The evidence for this is everywhere.  Ellen Reed's "Pagan songs" are nothing more than Christian Christmas carols in a funny dress (for the argument about who stole what from which religion, see chapter three).  Even the "Sabbats" (for fucked up spelling and faux archaic hilarity, see chapter four) are nothing more than a replacement for Christmas, Easter, Lent, etc.

The status of a Pagan is determined by two things:  The obscurity of the deities that they "work with", and the claims they make to their "heritage".

The first can be hilarious.  One member of Mystic Wicks once posted "I just got tapped by Bast.  Does anyone know anything about him?"  (Bast is a female deity, by the way).  And I think we all remember the romp that turned one TCC member into a "rabbi".  Funnier still are the entirely made up Gods, such as "The Lord and Lady", who bear no resemblance at all to whatever Celtic mythology they were dragged out of.

The second is just plain silly.  Watching some retard claim to be a "12th generation Strega", for example, or a "Ninth generation witch" is so stupid as to make the mind boggle.  Even the Mormons don't claim to be able to trace their families that far back, and most geneology freaks can go back multiple generations by name, but of course know nothing about the people themselves past 4 or 5 generations.

All of this of course proves the central point about almost all Pagans:  The entire thing is nothing more than a control game.  It's the Catholic and Mormon churches, writ small, so that no authority can contradict the hilarious claims made by the collection of losers and wannabe Jim Joneses that make up 99.5% of all Pagans.  It's just another make-believe power structure that monkeys use to determine who gets to shit on whose head.

And I think the human race has had rather enough of those, don't you?

Okay for now,
Dok 
Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


East Coast Hustle

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Freeky


Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."


Shai Hulud

#7
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 02, 2011, 08:17:02 PM
And I think the human race has had rather enough of those, don't you?

What's the alternative?

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Guybrush on August 03, 2011, 02:17:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 02, 2011, 08:17:02 PM
And I think the human race has had rather enough of those, don't you?

What's the alternative?

You could all get off my fucking planet, for one.
Molon Lube

Shai Hulud

Exactly.  There is no alternative.  Any time you think you've got a special pipeline to the ultimate Truth, you're doing essentially the same thing as the Pagans.


Cain

Unless, y'know, you're actually right.

Shai Hulud


Doktor Howl

Quote from: Guybrush on August 03, 2011, 02:28:07 AM
Exactly.  There is no alternative.  Any time you think you've got a special pipeline to the ultimate Truth, you're doing essentially the same thing as the Pagans.



Other than Pagans and Calvinists, who the fuck thinks that?
Molon Lube

Luna

Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 03, 2011, 02:41:57 AM
Quote from: Guybrush on August 03, 2011, 02:28:07 AM
Exactly.  There is no alternative.  Any time you think you've got a special pipeline to the ultimate Truth, you're doing essentially the same thing as the Pagans.



Other than Pagans and Calvinists, who the fuck thinks that?

THINKS it, or SAYS it?  Any high muckey-muck of damn near any faith you choose to look at claims they know the TRUTHTM...  Or at least A Truth...
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Luna on August 03, 2011, 03:34:27 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 03, 2011, 02:41:57 AM
Quote from: Guybrush on August 03, 2011, 02:28:07 AM
Exactly.  There is no alternative.  Any time you think you've got a special pipeline to the ultimate Truth, you're doing essentially the same thing as the Pagans.



Other than Pagans and Calvinists, who the fuck thinks that?

THINKS it, or SAYS it?  Any high muckey-muck of damn near any faith you choose to look at claims they know the TRUTHTM...  Or at least A Truth...

I know a bunch of IRREFUTABLE TruthsTM.  Actual, objective wisdom that cannot be denied by anyone of any denomination, yet cannot be proven scientifically.
Molon Lube