There's nothing quite like a good narcissistic update feed on Facebook

[Eater of Clowns]

Yesterday I realized that most of the ads I see on facebook are for RPGs or other things I [apparently] talk about all the time. Well that's kind of boring! So I did an experiment. How fast can I get NASCAR ads on my facebook page? I "liked" NASCAR, started talking about NASCAR and invited friends to post NASCAR shit on my wall.

It took about 6 minutes before all the ads were for NASCAR products or brands

For some reason FB believes I am a single homosexual person.

Mine are all for "single girls in your hometown" so sometimes I can't distinguish facebook ads from porn site ads.

[Don Coyote]

Yesterday I realized that most of the ads I see on facebook are for RPGs or other things I [apparently] talk about all the time. Well that's kind of boring! So I did an experiment. How fast can I get NASCAR ads on my facebook page? I "liked" NASCAR, started talking about NASCAR and invited friends to post NASCAR shit on my wall.

It took about 6 minutes before all the ads were for NASCAR products or brands

For some reason FB believes I am a single homosexual person.

Mine are all for "single girls in your hometown" so sometimes I can't distinguish facebook ads from porn site ads.

I had that for a while, then I removed my relationship and gender from my info.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Yesterday I realized that most of the ads I see on facebook are for RPGs or other things I [apparently] talk about all the time. Well that's kind of boring! So I did an experiment. How fast can I get NASCAR ads on my facebook page? I "liked" NASCAR, started talking about NASCAR and invited friends to post NASCAR shit on my wall.

It took about 6 minutes before all the ads were for NASCAR products or brands

For some reason FB believes I am a single homosexual person.

Mine are all for "single girls in your hometown" so sometimes I can't distinguish facebook ads from porn site ads.

I had that for a while, then I removed my relationship and gender from my info.

Which explains why FB thinks you are single, homosexual and a person...

[Don Coyote]

Yesterday I realized that most of the ads I see on facebook are for RPGs or other things I [apparently] talk about all the time. Well that's kind of boring! So I did an experiment. How fast can I get NASCAR ads on my facebook page? I "liked" NASCAR, started talking about NASCAR and invited friends to post NASCAR shit on my wall.

It took about 6 minutes before all the ads were for NASCAR products or brands

For some reason FB believes I am a single homosexual person.

Mine are all for "single girls in your hometown" so sometimes I can't distinguish facebook ads from porn site ads.

I had that for a while, then I removed my relationship and gender from my info.

Which explains why FB thinks you are single, homosexual and a person...

The reason it thinks I'm a homo is because I follow a bunch of human rights groups on my main fb. I have my gender back up and a relationship status with a woman, but yet it thinks I am single and gay.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Yesterday I realized that most of the ads I see on facebook are for RPGs or other things I [apparently] talk about all the time. Well that's kind of boring! So I did an experiment. How fast can I get NASCAR ads on my facebook page? I "liked" NASCAR, started talking about NASCAR and invited friends to post NASCAR shit on my wall.

It took about 6 minutes before all the ads were for NASCAR products or brands

For some reason FB believes I am a single homosexual person.

Mine are all for "single girls in your hometown" so sometimes I can't distinguish facebook ads from porn site ads.

I had that for a while, then I removed my relationship and gender from my info.

Which explains why FB thinks you are single, homosexual and a person...

The reason it thinks I'm a homo is because I follow a bunch of human rights groups on my main fb. I have my gender back up and a relationship status with a woman, but yet it thinks I am single and gay.

Maybe Facebook knows you better than you know yourself? 

Not sure what human rights has to do with being homosexual, but one does not question the maghiqkal abilities of "The Zuckerfucker" right?

[Don Coyote]

Yesterday I realized that most of the ads I see on facebook are for RPGs or other things I [apparently] talk about all the time. Well that's kind of boring! So I did an experiment. How fast can I get NASCAR ads on my facebook page? I "liked" NASCAR, started talking about NASCAR and invited friends to post NASCAR shit on my wall.

It took about 6 minutes before all the ads were for NASCAR products or brands

For some reason FB believes I am a single homosexual person.

Mine are all for "single girls in your hometown" so sometimes I can't distinguish facebook ads from porn site ads.

I had that for a while, then I removed my relationship and gender from my info.

Which explains why FB thinks you are single, homosexual and a person...

The reason it thinks I'm a homo is because I follow a bunch of human rights groups on my main fb. I have my gender back up and a relationship status with a woman, but yet it thinks I am single and gay.

Maybe Facebook knows you better than you know yourself? 

Not sure what human rights has to do with being homosexual, but one does not question the maghiqkal abilities of "The Zuckerfucker" right?

Ironic thing is I haven't seen any ads on FB today.

[Cain]

The "COL" in Coyote's name actually stands for his favourite part of the human body, the Colon.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

The "COL" in Coyote's name actually stands for his favourite part of the human body, the Colon.

dammit this was a new keyboard freshly stolen. 

[Gordon C]

http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-facebook-terms-of-service-in-bro-speak/ meanders in and out of funny I like the picture at the top.

[Triple Zero]

I think I may assign one of the F# keys a "SHIT" macro. In the long run, it would probably save me a lot of typing.

Maybe you could use computer-sorcery to make a macro that uses all of your past swears and randomizes them into new swears?

This sounds like a VERY worthwhile project!

OMG please do this!

Ok, I've thought about this for a while.

Assigning a macro to a Fn-key is the easy part, depending on OS there are several readymade solutions for it (for example, on Windows there's a tool called AutoHotKey which I've never used myself but heard many good things about). Though personally I'd start out with a browser-based bookmarklet solution, since it's cross-platform as well as something I'm familiar with building.

That's the technical part. It's the generation of swearwords that's the creative part and maybe people have some good ideas on that.

If the goal is to re-synthesize past swears into new swears, the system consists of two parts. First, it needs to detect past swears in order to build a list/database of them. Then there's various computational linguistics probabilistic algorithms that take a list of phrases and mash them up to create a semi-coherent new variation/combination (Markov Chains are popular for this).

The problem is with detecting past swears. If you had a bunch of rules to reliably detect swears, you could probably apply those rules in reverse to generate the swears and you wouldn't need the entire thing. Except that it would never discover novel swears, if they're not covered by the ruleset.

So I guess the best way is to manually collect your own list of wonderful and favourite swears. Like you're surfing the web, read an awesome swear (be it in someone's blog comment or a post you just wrote), highlight select the text, right-click and choose "add to swear database".

Then you'd have a big button on your browser (preferably red and menacing) that you can hit at any moment and it will add a random new freshly generated swearword to the textbox you're currently editing, and optionally play an ominous sound effect.



Alternatively, both more versatile and somewhat easier, you can skip the collecting phase and take a bit more hands-on approach on the random swearing generating. The big red button would generate the swears according to a set of hand-crafted rules, like the Twat-o-tron.

When I was playing around with IRC bots, I made a very simple mini description language for--well actually I did end up using it as an insult generator It kinda looks like this:

You're a {moronic|stupid|braindead}{ fucking| }{fuckhead|shithead|cunt}

I bet you can figure out how it works.

.. I just dug up my old code and the longer version of the insult generator looks like this:

adjective_insult = {stupid|stoopid|semi-illiterate|idiotic|wanking|bloody|fucking|dumb|moronic|half-brained|miserable|butt-ugly|spaggy|spaggish}
noun_insult = {asshole|fucker|wanker|tosser|toss-pot|jerk-off|cunt|moron|idiot|sucker|spag|hippie|motherfucker|insufferable cunt|imp|worm}
comp_noun_insult = adjective_insult + noun_insult

Though I didn't spend much time on that list either, and I bet you can come up with much more interesting constructions.

[Cramulus]

  I have always wanted to hand feed a markov bot all the CAPSLOCK BULLSHIT I type.

I'd need to get get access to p3nts old forum, and also Precious Moments Zalgo's shortlived forum, where I made 85% of the posts

[Cuddlefish]

I never realized this about Facebook (I, apparently, have an ad-blocker in my brain, I hardly even notice the ads most of the places I go), so, of course, I was curious as to what type of ads I currently get, considering I barely ever post on FB. None of them were really relevant, except the one for a game called RAGE. I guess I can see where they got that from.

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

I have always wanted to hand feed a markov bot all the CAPSLOCK BULLSHIT I type.

I'd need to get get access to p3nts old forum, and also Precious Moments Zalgo's shortlived forum, where I made 85% of the posts

Aw, crap, sorry Cram.  I deleted the forum and dropped the database.  Nobody had used it for a while and spambots took over.

[Cain]

You mean you let the database....
































DROP?

[Cainad (dec.)]

In addition to the "You're a/an {adjective} {noun}" insult, there should be a way to make it cycle through alternate swearing structures.

"You make me want to {verb} {noun} until {different noun} come out your {bodily orifice}"

"You're so {adjective}, you {adverb} {verb} {noun}!"

"Go {verb} {preposition} a/an {noun}, you {adjective} {noun}."