A sermon.

[Sister Fracture]

When there comes to be a soothing light at the end of your tunnel, it's just a freight train coming your way.
            - "No Leaf Clover,"  Metallica


My brothers and sisters Fearful, I come to you today to speak the word, the truth depressing, of our God-City, baking hell Tucson.  Among the truths there are, there are none quite as noticeable as the City's desire to cause us grief. 

We are born in the mouth of a great tunnel lying under a mountain.  Our journey through life is ever in darkness, a plodding monotony.  Throughout the great tunnels there are miles and miles of train tracks, and there is no other thing to follow, nor any other place to walk.  We know that one day the train will come bearing down the tracks, and we will not be able to jump aside.  But I am getting ahead of myself...

We walk the tunnels, mostly alone, along our own personal tracks to Hell.  Sometimes we glimpse a light, but it is usually turning down some other path, bound for some other poor bastard, and we may quietly praise Tucson's fickleness and our own insignificance.  But there is hope, you hear in distant echoes.  There is an end to your tunnel.

So during your travels, your non-metaphorical self attains your heart's deepest desire - stability, love, even a future doing something you WANT to do.  You begin to think that maybe you won't become a thin paste on a pair of tracks that you never should have gone down.  There are stories of people making it all the way to the end, after all.

And then, in your private world, you see the most beautiful light you've ever seen, and it's bright glare is a welcoming beacon.  You move faster, more confidently toward it.

In the real world you also gain confidence - confidence that this wonderful thing is really happening, it's really happening!  Things are moving so quickly, and there is no time at all for them to fall apart so that nothing can be salvaged.


And then:

woo woooooooo


Did you really hear it, or was it just something you imagined?
Why are you suddenly having a bad feeling?  How silly! 

You have available to you at this point two options.  Number one is that you run towards the light.  Hey, that might still be an out, who said these tracks are one way, right?  That train might be behind you, not in front.  Number two is to feel doubt about your course, whatever it is.  You can't ever, ever go back though.  You can never go back.

I'll let you know now, option two just leads you away from your current path to a different path without your heart's desire on it.

Let's say you take the first choice.  You run and run and run.

You continue your pursuit of happiness, and everything is fantastic.

That light is staying quite far off in the distance.  You were just hearing things.  El oh el!





wooo woooo

And suddenly you are two hundred feet from the light, charging right at it while it charges right at you.  There is no way out, there is no time to fix anything.  You can scream as defiantly as you want, but that won't stop that soothing light from being a thousand ton train bearing down on you at full speed and then you finally realize it was all a huge LIE, there was never any true hope to be had and

Your life is in shambles because you bet on good luck to help you through bet it all on wishful thinking bet it all on some kind of reality where fairness means something and you are well and truly fucked now and there's nothing to be done except

you get splattered along the old train track cover up the old puddles of blood because that's what greases the wheels is your own lifeblood and

weep in confusion and sense a great loss the things that could have been should have been might have been it doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters anymore, because it's your turn for Tucson to bat you out of the park.


Now, you can say anything you like about Metallica.  I myself am not a huge fan.  But my brothers and sisters, James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich knew a long time ago what the score was, and for that I respect them.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Grim, but full of Truth.