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Help me out, here, Dok...

Started by Luna, August 16, 2011, 02:39:53 PM

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Luna

Maybe my life wasn't everything a girl dreams of, but I was doing okay.  I had a husband I was crazy about, one I believed in, that I trusted.  I had a home. Not a palace, sure, but it was ours, and I loved it, too.  Pets, hobbies, enough cash to splurge now and then...  For America, I was doing just fine, and pretty fucking awesome, compared to some.

Then it all came crashing down.  My husband wasn't half the man I thought he was.  I lost my home, my job.  Money's tight, these days.  They say money isn't anything, but having it beats the fuck out of having to decide if you're paying the credit card bill or eating.  Even my hobby got a kick in the teeth, since he brings that slut he's banging around.  My car is falling apart around me, and I'm not sure how I'm going to replace it.  I've had people I thought were friends prove they aren't, either by walking away, or by sticking in a knife. 

I'd thought people were basically decent.  Now, I occasionally wonder if we wouldn't be better off if aliens came down and carted off 90% of the population as lifestock and bombed the rest of us back to the stone age.  I thought I was a good person, who cared about everyone.  Turns out I can be a bitch who can tear into someone she at least used to be in love with.

The world isn't black and white any more, Dok.  Somebody smudged it up with shades of gray all over the place.  Trust isn't yes/no any more, it's how much do I trust someone, and with what?  Life isn't good/bad any more, it's better than yesterday, or sucking harder than last week.  Pieces are great, sure, and some people have been awesome, but a lot has gone to the suck.

So...  here's what I don't get, Dok...  With all this shit coming down trying to break me, to kill me, why is it I feel more alive than I have in years?
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Doktor Howl

There is, it seems, a part of the human brain that - alongside its other function - tells you that the less encumbrances you have, the more free you are.  This is the part of the brain that is responsible for hobos (as opposed to bums), Teabaggers, and Buddhists.

It's worth noting that it's also the part of the brain that gives you that slap-happy grin you wear when you jam your junk in a meat grinder. 
Molon Lube

Luna

If I turn into a Teabagger, please consider this a formal request for someone to put me out of my misery.  Dissect me for SCIENCE! If it suits ya.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Cramulus


Luna

Quote from: Cramulus on August 16, 2011, 04:27:18 PM


Truth, Cram.  I'd been numb for awhile.  It was easier... but not better.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Before, you were coasting through a honey-flavored haze. Now you're invested and tearing your way through a bitter jungle.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Jenne

I feel ya, Luna.  The last decade has kicked my ass six ways to Sunday AND BACK.  I think being able to say "I'm still standing," when you're in survival mode, goes a long way to meaning something.  And I mean "meaning something" positive.

I think you might know why you feel "more alive" than you ever have before--because really living isn't pain-free.  I think you might have been anesthetized a bit with your "clean living" and great choices that were working out in the short term.  Life then took a dump on those choices, and now you're climbing back out of that shitpile.

That effort, though, is well worth it in the end.  Because you'll climb higher and further and it sounds like will be the wiser for it as well.  I know I personally TRY to feel lucky that I'm still here, and try to apply the lessons learned.  It's a difficult road to wander down, for sure.  So like I said, I feel ya.

Luna

I'm managing.  I usually don't do well...  No.  I don't usuallt FEEL like I'm doing well if I'm unattached.  This is the longest I haven't been involved with somebody...  hell, since high school.  It's been good for me, I think.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Anna Mae Bollocks

People who try to do the conventional relationship thing these days usually end up getting burned. That stuff seems to work last longer if both parties keep a lot of breathing space, which means being by yourself a lot.

It also means not having to put up with a lot of shit.  :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 26, 2011, 08:20:28 PM
People who try to do the conventional relationship thing these days usually end up getting burned. That stuff seems to work last longer if both parties keep a lot of breathing space, which means being by yourself a lot.

Balls.

Jam yourself in head first, and see what happens.
Molon Lube

Luna

Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 26, 2011, 08:23:04 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 26, 2011, 08:20:28 PM
People who try to do the conventional relationship thing these days usually end up getting burned. That stuff seems to work last longer if both parties keep a lot of breathing space, which means being by yourself a lot.

Balls.

Jam yourself in head first, and see what happens.

Oh, when the opportunity arises...  but I'm in no rush.  Which is good, means I've turned down a couple offers which wouldn't have worked out.  Wasn't ready... or they weren't right.  Hell, they weren't even right for Mr. Right Now.

I can wait.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 26, 2011, 08:23:04 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 26, 2011, 08:20:28 PM
People who try to do the conventional relationship thing these days usually end up getting burned. That stuff seems to work last longer if both parties keep a lot of breathing space, which means being by yourself a lot.

Balls.

Jam yourself in head first, and see what happens.

Kamikaze.


I can see where it might be fun, though.  :p
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Jenne

Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 26, 2011, 08:23:04 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 26, 2011, 08:20:28 PM
People who try to do the conventional relationship thing these days usually end up getting burned. That stuff seems to work last longer if both parties keep a lot of breathing space, which means being by yourself a lot.

Balls.

Jam yourself in head first, and see what happens.

If I ever end up single, I'd probably go this route for a while.

And then my more cautious second nature would kick in. :p

Don Coyote

You only live once. Live like a rock and roller. And fuck them what have no sense of humor. With a giant jesus strapon.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Donald Coyote on August 26, 2011, 11:23:01 PM
You only live once. Live like a rock and roller. And fuck them what have no sense of humor. With a giant jesus strapon.

:mittens:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division