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I'M DRUNK AND I HAVE 8 DAYS OFF

Started by East Coast Hustle, August 21, 2011, 05:06:27 AM

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East Coast Hustle

August 21, 2011, 05:06:27 AM
Don't ask me anything.

Instead, since I'm gonna work a couple dinner shifts at my old restaurant for shits and giggles (and free drinks the whole time I'm in town), tell me what I should do to absolutely terrorize the people who still work there.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#1
August 21, 2011, 05:11:39 AM
Tell them about the sharks and coffee. Then suggest adapting that to apply to your restaurant's customers.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Freeky

#2
August 21, 2011, 05:33:36 AM
Poomp in the tub.

navkat

#3
August 21, 2011, 09:48:29 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 21, 2011, 05:33:36 AM
Poomp in the tub.

Please let me plural-marry you and Nigel.

PLEASE.
Can we just skip to the end where it's all on fire? Thanks.

East Coast Hustle

#4
August 21, 2011, 11:51:02 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 21, 2011, 05:33:36 AM
Poomp in the tub.

There is no tub, but an upper-decker may be in order.

Or, I could just take a dump in the live lobster tank.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Luna

#5
August 21, 2011, 11:59:32 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 21, 2011, 11:51:02 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on August 21, 2011, 05:33:36 AM
Poomp in the tub.

There is no tub, but an upper-decker may be in order.

Or, I could just take a dump in the live lobster tank.

:horrormirth:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

BadBeast

#6
August 21, 2011, 08:49:18 PM
Wear an overexposed radiation tag. Have some LSD to drop in the food of those imprudent enough to have any attitude.  Take a little bit yourself. just to square your conscience. Make condescending comments questioning the abilities of whoever took over your job. Mutter incoherently to yourself, when you think no-one is lpooking. 

Wut?  :aaa: You do all that shit anyway?   OK, roll with the Lobster thing them.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Salty

#7
August 21, 2011, 09:48:21 PM
Bring in a box filled with dirt and the other necessary ingredients to prepare a century egg and leave it there for when you come back in a year or two.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#8
August 21, 2011, 10:15:14 PM
Start clearing your throat a lot, especially when coworkers have something annoying to say to you.

I recommend doing this in a vaguely disapproving tone, but subtly enough to retain plausible doubt that you're merely performing a biological function.

If this is not enough to cause visible annoyance, add in an audible but faked swallowing of mucus.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
August 22, 2011, 07:32:50 AM
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#10
August 23, 2011, 06:21:39 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on August 21, 2011, 05:06:27 AM
Don't ask me anything.

Instead, since I'm gonna work a couple dinner shifts at my old restaurant for shits and giggles (and free drinks the whole time I'm in town), tell me what I should do to absolutely terrorize the people who still work there.

What would Buddha's... Oh right, don't ask, well have fun then.
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