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How to kill HP

Started by Da6s, September 03, 2011, 03:38:47 AM

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Da6s

September 03, 2011, 03:38:47 AM
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904787404576535211589514334.html?fb_ref=wsj_share_FB_bot&fb_source=home_multiline

QuoteLet's say you were given a year to kill Hewlett-Packard. Here's how you do it:

Fire well-performing CEO Mark Hurd over expense-report irregularities and a juicy sexual-harassment claim that you admit has no merit. Fire four board members, as publicly as possible. Foment a mass exodus of key executives who actually know how to run the giant computer company.

Hire new a CEO from German competitor, SAP, which sells business software, not consumer products. Tell the new CEO, Leo Apotheker, that Mr. Hurd "left H-P in great shape."

Draw public criticism from a major corporate-governance advisory firm, alleging Mr. Apotheker filled board openings with cronies.

Announce plans to maybe sell the PC business. Or maybe spin off PCs as a stand-alone company. Uncertainty will damage the price.

Never mind the years of effort H-P spent -- including a controversial merger with Compaq -- becoming the world's largest PC maker. Never mind that the PC business feeds H-P's more profitable businesses. Dumping it is a beautiful absurdity that one analyst, Jayson Noland of Robert W. Baird & Co., described as "like McDonald's getting out of the hamburger business."

Watch Moody's threaten to downgrade H-P's credit.

Act surprised as H-P's stock plunges more than 40%.

Go to Wall Street and tell long, confusing stories about how you are transforming H-P from a low-margin to a high-margin business.

Didn't realize how much of a clusterfuck HP was in currently. Sucks for my friend that works for Porter Novelli for HP.  :horrormirth:
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

Pæs

#1
September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
September 03, 2011, 07:28:56 AM
Quote from: Egregore Samsa on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.


:mittens:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Lenin McCarthy

#3
September 03, 2011, 07:51:26 PM
Quote from: Egregore Samsa on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.


:mittens:

That's probably a bit late, though.

Don Coyote

#4
September 03, 2011, 08:02:32 PM
Quote from: Egregore Samsa on September 03, 2011, 04:34:53 AM
I was hoping this was going to be a thread about helping Voldemort win.


Me too, and then I was dissapoint.

Bruno

#5
September 04, 2011, 05:24:36 AM
I remember the Compaq merger and the controversy.

Apparently, that went well enough for them, so why suddenly the case of the derps?
Formerly something else...
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