Roses are red, violets are... FUCKING... VIOLET!!

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

I'm having the worst colitis attack right now, and it sucks really bad. Basically, I'm farting blood and brown mucous 12-15 times a day.

To make matters worse, my wife is watching "Bachelor Pad."

Seriously... "Vapid" is a severe understatement. At first I hung on, hoping they were trying to be ironic, then I thought "well, maybe it's just poorly acted script." When I started gnawing on the coffee table I realized that... not only are there people out there like this, but we pay a lot of attention to them. 

Things is bad.

[East Coast Hustle]

I'm having the worst colitis attack right now, and it sucks really bad. Basically, I'm farting blood and brown mucous 12-15 times a day.

I think you need to get off the couch and take your talents to public transit.

[Suu]

I'm having the worst colitis attack right now, and it sucks really bad. Basically, I'm farting blood and brown mucous 12-15 times a day.

I think you need to get off the couch and take your talents to public transit.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I'm having the worst colitis attack right now, and it sucks really bad. Basically, I'm farting blood and brown mucous 12-15 times a day.

I think you need to get off the couch and take your talents to public transit.

[Luna]

I'm having the worst colitis attack right now, and it sucks really bad. Basically, I'm farting blood and brown mucous 12-15 times a day.

I think you need to get off the couch and take your talents to public transit.

If he winds up on my bus, I WILL stuff his ass out the window.

(Note, the windows on our busses do not open.  This will cause me to actually do some work, and will make me cranky.)

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

Tell you what. I'll vacuum seal a whole gallon's worth of dysentery and send it to whoever thinks they can make use of it.

If my pain can be someone's lluzl, it'll be worth it

[Triple Zero]

Sure thing, my mailing address is

Trip's Office
State Insurance Building
1100 San Jacinto
Austin, Texas 78701