Alt.Discordia

[Cramulus]

Before the facebook discordian society
Before principiadiscordia.com
Before blogs
Before the world wide web had even really taken off
there was Alt.Discordia

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.discordia/

Alt.Discordia was a newsgroup for Discordians in the early days of the net. There are archives which go back to 1994. At the time of this writing, there are 23063 topics. (for scale, PD currently has only 15639 Topics)

At alt.discordia you can see the first stirrings of the Internet Discordian Society. There are camp wars between the "pinealists" and the more straight-faced Discordians. There are epic trollings which last for years. There is butt hurt and flouncing. There are brilliant ideas posted alongside nonsensical disorder. There's tons of noise with very little signal. In short - it's everything you expect from the Discordian Society.

If we take the 50-year view of Discordia, we see it going through

• CHAOS - a before-discordia period -- this is the "set and setting" (to use Leary terms) for Mal and Omar to meet Eris.
• DISCORD - a period where only 2 people knew about Eris' return to the world
• CONFUSION - the Discordian Society gets some publicity through RAW, Camden Benares, and other writers, the first schisms form
• BUREAUCRACY - I think this is where we are now. There are multiple Discordian Societies playing out the same dances over and over again. We can see a lot of ourselves (the principiadiscordia.com/forum community) reflected in Alt.Discordia. Not a ton, but it's there.

Autumn Tyr-Salvia (aka St Mae, a west-coast based Discordian priestess and all around awesome cat) told me that in its heyday, Alt.Discordia was the place to be. There was a core of cool people that made it worth hanging around. They forged real friendships, had real-life meet ups, and formed bonds outside of the newsgroup.

This was all ruined by a man named Timothy Sutter, who she explained as little more than a noisetroll. He's extremely persistent and made sure that his voice was louder than anybody else on alt.discordia. Years later, he successfully repelled everybody worth talking to. If you look at alt.discordia today, you'll see mostly (1) spam, (2) somebody trying to make contact, (3) 30 posts from Tim Sutter. He is the king of lonely hill.

Another anecdote from alt.discordia's history is that Kerry Thornley once visited it. (I think this is in The Prankster and the Conspiracy by Adam Gorightly) Apparently, while he was living with Sondra London, she told him that his ideas had actually caught on quite a bit, and that lots of people were really into them. She plugged Kerry (who wasn't much of a computer guy) into alt.discordia and let him meet the first internet Discordians. The story goes that he fucking hated them, he thought they had it totally ass backwards, and refused to communicate with them any further. (If anybody can find the posts where this happens, I will award you ten internets.)

(calling archive archaeologists and Discordian Historians) --- I'd love to hear any other stories about alt.discordia. And if you find interesting bits in the archive, please x-post them here.

[Cramulus]

At roughly this time (september-october) in 1994, alt.discordia was planning a public phone prank. They were getting together a list of public phones, and calling them randomly.

The Amherst Regional High School payphone:

413-256-6808.

Call between 10:30 and 12:30 and you're sure to get some of those kids
during their lunch period.

It's a lot of fun.

In article <34plv6$...@emoryu1.cc.emory.edu>,

Malinda McCall <mmcc...@unix.cc.emory.edu> wrote:
>Here in Atlanta, calling on a payphone will no doubt net you a crack
>dealer without a sense of humor.

        All the more reason to do it! <ring> <ring> "Yeah?" "Get out of
town, they're on to us!" <click> Fight your own little war against drugs. If
you suspect they won't buy that, call back 5 minutes later and say, "I
thought I told you to get MOVING!" or maybe "Atlanta police, may I help
you?" THAT'LL confuse 'em. Hell, that's a good use for 3-way calling. Ahh,
the potential...

FWIW, here's another payphone. It's outside a couple of stores, so in the
daytime you might get someone's attention: 413-773-9023.

(510) 540-9164  (This is in the lobby of a student coop in Berkeley.  You
                 are sure to get someone who may even be weirder than you.)

Hm. OK, here are some public phones in sunny Wales...
I'll give the numbers in international format.

These six are outside the railway station in Aberystwyth:
+44 970 627815
+44 970 626947
+44 970 615107
+44 970 615321
+44 970 615190
+44 970 615360

And these two are outside the dole office:

+44 970 626188
+44 970 626744

there are a few posts which express a bit of confusion. They sound like they're waiting for somebody to collect a list of all the phone numbers people have been posting and give a more concrete idea to coordinate all the random calls. But nothing like this emerges.

[Cramulus]

Reminiscent of our Haiku Thread....

Nov 6 1994 - Fnord Mustang posted a list of "Discordian Haikus"

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.discordia/browse_thread/thread/693e8fb98b44ad0f#

Staples in scrotum
 Cannot be trusted alone
 Don't buff again

Staples in scrotum
 Jack-ass figure on totem
 Perverts, we note 'em

Sac ripped open
 Lost more than concentration
 You are a jerk, Jack

--------

Something not normal
 Is happening to me now,
 Please don't let it end.

Story told simply,
 No extraneous verb'age;
 Nature of haiku.

I loved you so much,
 But you dumped on me, you bitch;
 Fuck yourself and die!

One never knows
 When inspiration will hit,
 Keep scratch paper near.

Brake job on my car,
 Not to crash, must go without;
 Walk to work this week.

You are beautiful,
 I only want your body,
 You are an object.

Five, seven and five,
 Poetry of the Far East,
 Haiku in progress.

Oscar Meyer franks:
 One dollar seventy five;
 What a great bargain.

Lunatic fringers,
 Not political winners,
 They're not freemasons.

Another lozenge;
 You are a troglodyte's wife;
 Cigarette dangles.

Lesbian haiku,
 Watch the girls lick their clitties,
 Take a photograph.

Does your watch run fast?
 Do you know the time of day?
 Or does anyone?

Seven dollars back,
 Thank you for shopping with us;
 Don't forget your change.

You've got to love me
 With the sun in your eyes un-
 Till the day you're blind.

How do you bury
 The skull of your country when
 It refuses death?

It's kaiku madness;
 Just meter with no rhyming,
 On an old receipt.

One never knows
 When inspiration will hit,
 Or maybe it won't.

Something not normal
 Is happening to me now;
 Make it go away.

Write haiku all night,
 I need a better hobby;
 I just need a life.

the post is followed by several replies telling him, basically, to fuck off

Notice is hereby served that your slow and painful death is promised
should we ever meet.

[Cramulus]

from somebody's sig:

Q.  What is science?
    A.  Science is magic, *after* you take away the magic.

This was posted by a guy who claims to be Malaclypse the Elder, though his username doesn't match...

MICROSOFT AND THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI

          "The chessboard is the world, the
            pieces are the phenomena of the
            universe, the rules of the game
            are the laws of nature. The
            player on the other side is
            hidden from us."
                 -- Thomas Henry Huxley

          "In every grain of wheat there
            lies hidden the soul of a star."
                 -- Arthur Machen

          "The Old Ones were, the Old Ones
            are and the Old Ones will be...
            not in the spaces we know of,
            but _between_ them ... Yog-Sothoth
            is the Gate."
                 -- Abd al-Hazred, _Al Azif_

          "All perception is inferential; all
            inference uncertain; all theory,
            a combination of perception and
            inference, is therefore educated
            guessing."
                 -- de Selby, _Golden Hours_, I, 93

  These days most people have heard of Microsoft Corporation, and its
founder Bill Gates. The majority of computers in use today use Microsoft
system software, and those that do not often run applications from
Microsoft. However, few people know the true story behind the rise of
Microsoft and even fewer suspect the terrible cosmic secrets that are
concealed beneath the facade of a successful software company.

  In the Object Linking and Embedding 2.0 Programmer's Reference there is
a very curious term. On page 78, the second paragraph starts with the
sentence, "In the aggregation model, this internal communication is
achieved through coordination with a special instance of IUnknown
interface known as the /controlling unknown/of the aggregate." The term
"controlling unknown" is a very interesting choice of words. It is not
the most intuitively obvious term for what it is describing (a base class
used for implementing an object-oriented data exchange/embedding system).

  A term strikingly similar to "controlling unknown" was the term "unknown
superiors", used by many occult secret societies. These included the
Strict Observance Masonic lodge, whose members were sometimes referred to
as "illuminati", and which had some connection with Adam Weishaupt's
order. "Unknown superiors"  is a term that refers to non-corporeal or
superhuman agencies in command of secret societies or mystery cults. Such
an agency is frequently known as the "inner head" of an order of
organisation, as opposed to the outer head, who is human.

  Organisations that claimed or were claimed to be commanded by such
"unknown superiors" include the Ordo Templi Orientis of Aleister Crowley
and the Knights Templar, whose Inner Head was apparently a being named
Baphomet.

  Apart from the term "controlling unknown", another hint at the secrets
behind Microsoft is the fact that Microsoft Windows has a limit of _five_
window device contexts. Five is a decidedly odd number for such an
application, being neither a power of two nor one less than a power of
two, but let us not forget Adam Weishaupt's discovery of the Law of Fives
in the Necronomicon*.

  Few people for sure how many buildings there are in the Microsoft
campus in Redmond, WA. No maps of the entire facility are known to exist.
Some Microsoft employees put the estimate at six or three. An article
in an Australian newspaper has claimed that there are 22 buildings. That
is partly true; however, there is another building, hidden from the
public and even from most Microsoft employees. The twenty-third building,
or Building 7, is pentagonal in shape; its exact location is known only
to five people (of whom Bill Gates may be one), however it is believed
that the building is accessible from elsewhere in the Microsoft campus
by a secret passage.

  What is in the five sided building is not known. However, it is believed
that the contents of Building 7 are of a supernatural nature. Apart from
the Pentagon, there was a similar five-sided building in Nazi Germany.
This has been carefully kept hidden from the public. One hypothesis is
that Building 7 is inhabited by, or used to communicate with, the Inner
Head, or "controlling unknown". The identity of the Outer Head is
unknown. Bill Gates may be the Outer Head, a high initiate of the
conspiracy or just a figurehead whose purpose it is to divert attention.

  To fully understand this history, or whatever of it may be understood
by human minds, one must have some knowledge of the history and origins
of the Illuminati. Little is known about the Illuminati, but what is
known is that the Illuminati can be definitely traced back to 1776.

  On Walpurgis night 1776, five men met in a cavern deep beneath
Ingolstadt, Bavaria. There they invoked some sort of supernatural beings
and made contact with the Unknown Superiors. The following day, one of
these five men proclaimed the foundation of the Ancient Illuminated Seers
of Bavaria, using the name "Adam Weishaupt", which means "the first man
to know the Superiors".

  Although the Illuminati were officially disbanded in 1785, they did not
disappear; throughout the past 200 years, they have been observing the
profane world carefully, and occasionally intervening (as they did in
Sarajevo in 1914, St. Petersburg in 1917, Manhattan in 1929 (to divert
attention from a rather unpleasant affair off the coast of New England)
and Dallas in 1963 to name a few cases. Their contacts with the Unknown
Superiors continued in specially constructed buildings, originally in
Germany but later in Washington. During the 1920s and 1930s there occurred
a potential problem; a young writer named Howard Phillips Lovecraft
published many stories which contained allegories to Illuminated history
(for example, Joseph Curwen's invocation of "Yogge-Sothothe" in an
underground complex in the 18th century). It is believed that Lovecraft's
father was a Grand Orient Freemason. The Illuminati, however, persuaded
Lovecraft to join their cause and faked his death in 1937 (Have you ever
wondered why his grave is not marked?) Another incident occurred on
October 21, 1967, when occultists attempted to "raise" the Pentagon; they
were given permission to approach it but prevented from completely
encircling it. However, in 1975, a crisis developed that threatened the
very foundation of the Illuminati.

  A book, claiming to be a fantasy novel, appeared. This book was mostly
fiction; however, it hinted at the secrets of the Illuminati (even going
as far as using Lovecraft's term "Yog-Sothoth" for the Unknown Superior).
To this day it is not known whether the authors were renegade Illuminati
or whether the information was acquired from informers within the
organisation. The book was called Illuminatus!

  Immediately, the Illuminati convened an emergency meeting in Cesme,
Turkey. There they discussed a contingency plan to restructure the
organisation and to move the Pentacle of Invocation to a new location.
They decided on setting up a small computer company in one of the smaller
cities of the United States as a front. That year, Microsoft Corporation
was founded.

  But why did the Illuminati select a software company and not, say, a
company that manages investments or makes kitchen appliances? The answer
lies in symbolism (Perhaps because of their invlovement in mystick arts
such as the Cabala, the Illuminati have always had an affinity for
symbolism). There is a recurring legend about a device in the form of a
human head which could answer yes/no questions (some link this device
to the Knights Templar and their god Baphomet; others claim that Pope
Sylvester, who lived in the tenth century, brought such an object back
from India, where he met the "Nine Unknown Men"). This device is
extremely suggestive of a computer of some sort, and if it did exist in
anything morethan hermetic allegory, it could not have been manufactured
by any human civilisation of the time whose existence is known. Hence,
the Illuminati decided to use a computer company as a front.

  It has been already speculated that the name of the founder, Bill Gates,
is a code much as "Adam Weishaupt" was a code. Apart from being the name
of a magician in Aleister Crowley's novel, "Moonchild", Gates is a
reference to the Unknown Superior and the gateway between ordinary
reality and the Invisible World; Lovecraft himself referred to Yog-
Sothoth as "the Gateless Gate". By the same token, IBM can be said to
stand not for "International Business Machines" but rather for "Iacobus
Burgundus Molensis", or Jacques de Molay, the last overt Grand Master of
the Knights Templar, whose name was borrowed by the Bavarian Illuminati
for one of their ciphers. One must also not forget that a Microsoft
network administration tool currently under development is named Hermes,
after the god of alchemy, and that a line in Umberto Eco's novel,
_Foucault's Pendulum_ reads, quite clearly, "Microsoft-Hermes".

    UN-authorised CAPITALISATION and DISSOCIATION
     of this IMPORTANT INFORMATION is ENCOURAGED.

* Some sources claim that the copy of the Necronomicon
which Adam Weishaupt owned was the von Junzt German
translation; this, however, is unlikely, as von Junzt
lived in the nineteenth century. The Necronomicon
involved was probably either Olaus Wormius' Latin
edition or the original Arabic, as the details of
the illustrations would attest.

there's quite a bit of ruckus about prayer in schools. I do remember from 1994 that this was a hot issue at the time - can you post the ten commandments in a public school? Apparently texas instituted a "moment of silence" at the beginning of the day, in case you wanted to pray or something.

There's a thread about how the Discordians/Subgenii are handling this.

wbarw...@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell) writes:
>A Moment Of Silence
>There are now several bills in several sates that are attempting to
>institute  Moments of Silence before each class day.
>Here in Texas, we will have such a bill sent to the next lesgislature.
>It's the fad of the moment.
>Thus, in the name of the Holy Church Of The SubGenius, I hereby
>do claim all moments of silence for "Bob".  All moments of silence from
>this moment on are in effect Official SubGenus Rituals.
>Every official Moment Of Silence is an official SubGenius prayer.
>Every official Moment Of Silence is a plea for Slack!
>Every official Moment Of Silence  is praise for J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.
>Even if the those who practice this most sublime SubGenius ritual are
>pink as can be and lack SubGenius DNA.

This is an example of why I _adamantly_ oppose moment-of-silence
legislation.  Because the prevailing religion in the US is Slack,
and such legislation is only a conspiracy to shove the doctrine of
"Bob" down the throats of unsuspecting pink boys.

On the other hand, maybe that's not such a bad thing.  Never mind.

>If anything The legeslature of these United States should institute a moment
>of chaos, as in if they can't be silent for a moment, why should they force
>the future of our nation to be?

        This a _truth_                                  All hail discordia!

        Purely put:

        Organized religion/politics/education/indoctrination should
         institute a moment of chaos, if they can't be silent for a moment,
         then why should they force us to be?

        Since no organized entity would ever sponsor such a decree we
         must force chaos upon them.

        If they refuse to acknowledge the primacy of Eris then we must
         force them to worship Eris.

        If it moves shoot it!
                 If it bleeds kill it!
                         Defoliate!
                 Depopulate!
         Annihilate!

        Voron Bessmertnii Storozh

[Doktor Howl]

I used to frequent alt.discordia, until it got swamped with bots and cross-posting racists.  That's not the fault of the spags there, of course, but of the archaic nature of usenet.

[Cramulus]

I'm wading through 1994 right now. It's kind of fascinating. I think I posted on there once, about a month after I read the PD ...so like .. 1998? I'll be curious if I can find it.

It's mostly noise. People posting because it's novel. It's interesting to read discussions from this time. This was pre-September That Never Ended. The internet hadn't developed it's cynical tone or it's short attention span. The only people posting on the net back then were students and computer enthusiasts.



I'm reading this thread right now which starts off as a call to arms to vote against republicans. The writer seems to think that if we elect a republican in 1996, the world will pretty much end immediately.

Few notice that $150 billion of the $200 billion deficit we had this year
represents only the interest on the debts brain-dead ronnie Reagan and
Halcion damaged George Bush saddled us with.
I doubt that many can even understand the disgusting enormity of this
when it is pointed out to them, or see the writing on the wall
as The Republikans in Washington run to add more gasoline to bonfire
of America's future.
We are being destroyed by the same thing that hepled destroy Rome,
ignorant leaders without a clue about real economic systems who saddle
their country with huge debts while essentially bribing the great
unwashed, bribes paid with by mounting more debt while the rapcious rich
gobble up everything in sight.  Thank God we have TV, so much more
cost effective than circuses.

not substantially different than contemporary antirepublican screeds. I do think it's cute that back then, 200 billion was considered an incomprehensible amount of money. 

The discussion winds around the two party system, anarchy, all that typical Discordian stuff.

[Cramulus]

from a thread about the Steve Jackson Principia

I have a 4th Edition from many years ago that I inherited with a Bavarian Fire
Drill that came only a couple of generations down from RAW.  As I remember
there is also a 5th Edition in the BFD that RAW put together--essentially the
"last" edition (which of course it wasn't).

Interestingly enough, I made 5 copies of a BFD with the stuff in my original
and including the PD, and when I got the copying bill it was exactly $23.00.
My BFD and PD are packed away in boxes with the rest of my "Illuminati"
library, so I can't check to see who actually published it. 

However, there have been several actual editions, all of course varying
slightly in content.

For those who don't know, a Bavarian Fire Drill is a collection of Discordian
Documents that is to be copied and passed on to others, adding your own
interesting materials and documents to it.  Sort of like a chain letter,
except it's a chain package.

In the true Discordian tradition, the "official" PD's are of course only the
tip of the iceberg.  There is a lot of non-PD discordian material out there
somewhere in the ether.

Earwicker

I like that idea, sounds like mailgasm.


I am also finding references to May 23rd being a holiday called "Harpomas". I guess like Harpo the Marx Brother.



There's a thread talking about starting an alt.discordia comic book. No, a magazine! We'll take all the great stuff people post and compile it into something you can print out and put on your shelf! yeah! ----but the idea seems to fizzle out.

[Cramulus]

Apparently there was a jake list -- a newsgroup specifically for participatory pranks. And in 1994, it had almost 50 people involved.

My guess is that most of the ideas were too wacky to take off.

Here's a few snippets a thread discussing what jake to pull on Newsweek magazine.

As for a topic--well, how about an expose on the CIA's mind-control experiments?

Or on the 'round earth' coverup?
Or a feature on Weird 'Cults' like the 'Discordians' and the 'SubGenii'?
Oh--how about something on the CSICOP?  (James Randi & friends.)

Or are these too obvious?

I too would like in.  Here's a few suggestions:

Make Venus the Planet of the Year.

Expose Nixon's faked 'death' so he can complete his plans for world
domination.

In depth coverage of the Weekly World News report that 10 US
Congresspersons are space aliens and are there more?

Demand that the US annex Canada and Mexico.

Ask them to start carrying _Dilbert_ every week.

Hemp Legalization

Haggis Legalization (it's illegal to import it)

Just about anything in the Weekly World News

[Cramulus]

I'm into 1995 now

It's amusing to me... these people wrote these really long pieces. And they haven't vanished into the aether, they're still preserved in crystal.

It's also amusing that in 1995, people wrote like it was paper. Linebreaks were rare, people actually indented at the beginning of a paragraph. WTF!

Arthur Hlavaty   Feb 17 1995, 4:58 pm

     Last issue we announced the formation of the Church of the
SuperGenius, a religion that recognizes that the ideal god for our
time is one who knows that nothing works right:  Wile E. Coyote.
      We are happy to report that others are recognizing the
greatness of Wile E.  The main manifestation is a new short film
(in the great canonical tradition) called *Chariots of Fur*, which
Warner Brothers is using in a desperate effort to get people to see
a full-length Macauley Culkin film called *Richie Rich*, shown
right after it.  It's like the joke about the man with the frog on
his head: a nice cartoon with a great big cinematic wart on its
ass.
      The Energizer people have been showing three--count'em, three
--commercials featuring Wile E.  We're quite happy about this,
unlike the followers of other cinematic figures.  Margaret Weis has
announced that she could not do the Darth Vader novels she was
supposed to because the Energizer commercials had done such harm to
ol' Darth's image, but our Hero is more resilient.

     Meanwhile, we get letters (e- and other)

Gary McGath writes:

Personally, I've considered the Roadrunner cartoons to be morality
plays.  The Coyote is the aggressor, and nature itself conspires to
punish him.  (Ignoring the little problem that nature itself
requires coyotes to aggress in order to eat.)

Epicanis says that the Church of the Super Genius sounds consistent
with the Dog's Philosophy, which is "If you can't eat it, play with
it, or fuck it, piss on it."

Anthony Palombella reports:
Both Wile E. and the Roadrunner moved to Toontown in 1943, hoping
to break into the big time.  Roadrunner worked on trolley cars,
using his Beep-Beep to alert pedestrians and other traffic.  Wile
E. held a series of odd-jobs; he often was fired from these jobs
after he invented a contraption to make his work easier but only
succeeded in hurting himself and causing huge amounts of property
damage.  Their appearance in *Who Framed Roger Rabbit?* was an
attempt to get enough time on screen to join the screen actors'
guild.  Jeez, am I the only one who keeps up on this stuff?

Sara J. Petty (3D Animatrix Babe) writes:
He is Eleggua, the eternal god of change, beginnings & endings,
the mischievous and amoral Child, blind Cupid, the Window,
the source of all invention, the Crossroads.  Loki, the Raven in
Quaqueiul legend, Pan, (which were Loki & Pan? Greek & Roman?),
Eleggua in Nigerian/Yoruban, even the old Scratch himself.

On the other hand, Wrench Boy writes:
I found your New God article amusing.
However, I believe new gods are exactly what we don't need.
Mainstream media, philosophers and psychologists would be doing
society a great favor if they'd band together in an attempt to
convince the international public (or at least spark a heated
debate in that realm) that there is no god, there never has been,
get your head out of the clouds NOW and help fix the only planet
you'll ever know.

To which the Church of the SuperGenius replies:
Party pooper.

mtu...@world.std.com writes:

I've long been convinced that Doug Smith and Philo Drummond were
sitting around (probably getting fropped out) watching Road Runner
cartoons when one of them (probably Philo) said, "He'd be better
off being a _sub_genius," and off it went (all of a sudden, they
had both known "Bob" for over ten years and been working for him
all that time....).

Secret Agent Kiwi writes:

Somehow, by some sort of chaotic current, I received your E-mail on
the new "worship". I have no idea who you are, but it's probably
better that way (YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)!  My question to you is,
"What about Bob?", that's what I really want to know.  Can a coyote
be there for you when the aliens come?
        But onto the subject at hand, does a loveable cartoon
character really qualify as a deity?  I say YES!!!  Will we replace
"Hail Discordia!" with "Hail Wile E!"?  I'm ready.  Just tell me
what I need to know, I'm poor but ready to serve!

     These letters bring up an important question.  We hereby deny
that the name of our church is an attack on any other church.  If
we referred to the other church as "the Church of the SubHuman," or
the "Scarlet Whore of Mad Dog, Texas," that would be an attack on
the other church.  Or if we pointed out that their alleged Messiah
was actually named Norman Appleton and wrote his gospel while doing
time for felony child abuse (the sordid story is revealed in
*National Lampoon*), that would be an attack on the other church.
But we're nice people, and we don't do things like that.

     In fact, the Church of the SuperGenius is always willing to
share our space with other groups and other gods of sympathetic
approach.  One group we like is the Church of St. Onan, and we
are pleased to present a guest sermon by Rev. Normal Bates, the
spiritual Master.

     Thank you.  We of the Church of St. Onan are Christian
Discordians, which means that we agree with the Republicans that
God the Father (Jehovah) is a White Male Authority Figure.
Unlike them, however, we're on the other side.  We read the Bible
as a history of the Authority's efforts to suppress humanity and
of the brave souls (Sinners) who rebelled.
      The First Sin the Other Side reports is the sin of Adam and
Eve, thinking for oneself.  They decided for themselves what was
Good and what was Evil, instead of taking the Authority's word
for things.  They got their asses kicked out of the Garden for
that. This is described in Harlan Ellison's story "Deathbird."
      The Second Sin was the Sin of Babel, where people worked
together to challenge the Authority, and the Authority punished
them by confusing their language.  It is believed that the
Authority rewarded those who spoke in acceptably incomprehensible
fashion with high positions in government and Academe.  This is
described in Thomas S. Szasz's *The Second Sin*.
      Our church is particularly interested in the Third Sin: the
sin of Onan. Onan was essentially the victim of a sort of
attempted rape; that is, he was ordered by the Authority to
impregnate his sister-in-law, whether he wanted to or not.  Onan
refused and was struck dead.  There are those in our Church who
believe that Onan's sin was specifically self-pleasuring (I'd
hate to tell you what they do instead of crossing themselves),
but we feel that any alternative to reproductive sex is
acceptable.  Roman Catholics believe that any sexual pleasure
should be open to the possibility of creating Life. We believe
that if you engage in any kind that isn't, you can be one of us.
      We are looking for allies.  We were glad to learn that there
was a religious leader named Oral Roberts and most disappointed
to hear that his name didn't mean what we thought, but just that
he can't read and write.
      As a part of our outreach, we are prepared to form an
unprincipled alliance with the Church of Euthanasia.  We do not
share their belief that humans are a blight on our otherwise
wonderful planet, filling it with nasty stuff like mind and
machinery.  But we are in complete agreement with their semifinal
solution to the human problem--encouraging everyone to have their
sexual pleasure without breeding.  (If you want to get in touch
with these people, their postal address is Box 261, Somerville,
MA 02143, and they can be reached by e-mail at c...@netcom.com.)
      We would also like to make a suggestion to the followers of
the Authority, not that they'd listen to us:  Perhaps you should
follow the example of the White Male Authority Figures at Intel
and do a recall.  Your Ten Commandments system (Pentateuch chip?)
is malfunctioning.  Specifically, the "Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery" unit is generating nonsense about things like
homosexuality and masturbation, instead of performing its proper
function of encouraging people to honor their commitments to
those they love.  This should be looked at.

--
Arthur D. Hlavaty             hlav...@panix.com
Church of the SuperGenius   In Wile E. We Trust

[Cramulus]

Wed, Mar 15 1995 8:04 pm


Zen Koans 1
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.discordia/browse_thread/thread/67e26ae759af6076#

Zen Koans 2
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.discordia/browse_thread/thread/11e2f049ff335ff8#


excerpts: (many more of these things at the above links)

      C R A S H I N G  T H E  G A T E

                 0 R E Z I A N  K O A N - S - P I R A C Y

                            By Letis Donne, PXD

PREFACE

   This collection of koanundrums spewed forth from the Noise of the Restless
Calm.  It is rumored that they were scribbled down with nary a thought about
what would develop.  How else would such names as "Bad Show" and such titles
as "Get 0nions" come into print?!

   This work (play?) was based on the Zen classic, _Mumonkan_, particularly
its translation by R.H. Blyth (Blessed be the Buddha!).  Letis may be accused
of plagiarism (from French, plage=beach, thus, "beachcombing"), but an open
consideration of the Joe Byden Experience as related in koanundrum #39 might
cure the novice of his/her naive belief in ego authorship.  A thought upon #7
might further illuminate the point.  So give the poor guy a break (you pick
the limb!).

   One final note: The BristerSotherhood of 0REZ, Trigrammarian has not given
endorsement of this production.  This is not because THEY (WE) disapprove,
rather, it is just that history has yet to uncover an endorsement of anything
in the verbiage of the BristerSotherhood.

   So, as Letis says: "Have a grandie!"

INVOCATIONS

To Bud Stack, who first used the word "0REZ".

To R.H. Blyth, A.J. Bahm, The Dr., RAW, ..., for Magic Notions.

To Byanu, for ever.

                      T H E  K O A N U N D R U M S

                                   x
                                 x  x  x
                                  x x x
                                 x xxx x
                                  x x x
                                   xxx
                                  x x x
                                 x x x x
                                  x   x
                                 xxxxxxx

I Questioner's Buddhahood

A monkey (1) asked Joe Shoe, "Does a questioner (2) have the Buddha Nature
(3)?"  Joe Shoe said, "Um... (4)."

NOTES: 1. Monkey: Anyone who puts oneself into a monkish social order must be
           less than human, or at least feel as such.
        2. Questioner: a) Gatekeeper in the 0REZIAN sense, i.e., one who wields
           the Psyckle of Doubtful Faith;  b) The particular monkey in this
           koanundrum - the question is not a petty philosophical issue; it
           cuts right to the core of the monkey's heart and soul.
        3. Buddha(~hood/ Nature): The Absolute Being, The Consciousness of the
           Absolute Being, One who realizes the Consciousness of the Absolute
           Being: may be interpreted in all these senses, but it amounts to
           nothing more than mere labels on mere bottles containing mere fluids.
        4. Um...: The 0REZIAN Mu in extremis; "No, not no, both no and not no,
           neither no nor not no,...; or is it just the "um..." of hesitation?

II   The DiamondBack

Whenever Hockey Joe spouted his Zen (1) before the monkeys, some guy (2) was
also there listening.  Once, this guy stayed after the lecture and Hockey Joe
asked who he was.  "I'm not a human being (3)," replied the guy.  "Way back I
used to be the main monkey here.  Once, another monkey asked me if an Illumi-
nated 0ne could fall back into the Abyss of the DiamondBack (4) and I said
'No'.  For this, I was forced to spend aeons in the form of a snake.  Now I
beg you to restore me with a Banishing Ritual (5)."  Then he asked Hockey Joe,
"Can an Illuminated 0ne fall back into the Abyss of the DiamondBack?"  Hockey
Joe answered, "Not even the Extra0rdinary 0ne (6) can escape the coils of the
DiamondBack."  The guy at once achieved Illumination.  "I'm free at last;
blessed be the Buddha!  Now I have just one more request: please give my snake
body (7) a monkey's funeral (."  Hockey Joe then called the other monkeys
and told them to cremate the snake carcass.  That evening, Hockey Joe mounted
the lectern and told the monkeys the story behind the snake funeral.  A.
Bucket (9) then got up and asked, "This guy's answer was wrrr (10), and he was
turned into a snake for a very long time.  But what would have happened if he
wasn't wrrr?"  Hockey Joe said, "Come here, and I'll show you."  A. Bucket
then approached Hockey Joe and spilled on him (11).  Hockey Joe, laughing and
dripping, cheered, "I thought the bark had a bite (12), but this really bites!"

NOTES: 1. Spouted Zen: a) High output mode of the dharma/dogma subsystem; b)
           Urination, unlike which (a) is not.
        2. Some guy: Not a monkey, nor a Master; a stranger who may be a seeker,
           a spy, or a Master in disguise.
        3. Not human: Feels like a monkey, or as in this case, like a snake.
        4. DiamondBack: The latticework of karma, or checkered moral fiber which
           spreads like mycelia through all Sentient Beings; The Abyss thereof
           is also known in various circles as the "Dark Night of the Soul",
           "Chapel Perilous", a "Bad Trip", etc.
        5. Banishing Ritual: Words and/or gestures to banish foul spirits, or
           ease the soul.
        6. Extra0rdinary 0ne: a) Fourth Grade of the BristerSotherhood; b)
           Outstanding person; c) Outsider.
        7. Snake body: Personification of the DiamondBack.
        8. Monkey's funeral: Alchemical metamorphosis of the sinner/karma-bound
           into a divine or spiritual being; resurrection (al-qiyamat); "build
           a pagoda on the empty ground" (Shonan Kattoroku, roughly).

       9. A. Bucket: This chap was known also as "A. Bottomless Bucket".
       10. Wrrr: a) Wrong; b) Not exactly wrong; c) Opposite of "Um...".
       11. Spilled: made zen, urinated on poor Hockey Joe.
       12. Bark/Bite: See Koanundrum #4.

III   Goody's Trigram

Every time Goody was asked about Zen, he always made a Manual Trigram (1).
Once, one of his monkeys was asked what his Master's teaching was, and he made
a Manual Trigram.  When Goody heard about this, he went and cuffed the monkey's
hands.  As the monkey struggled and whined, Goody called to him and made a
Manual Trigram.  Seeing this, the monkey was Illuminated.  When Goody was on
his death bed, he told the monkeys, "I learned this Manual Trigram from Ten
Wrrr.  I used it all my life and it was always full of juice (2)."  So saying,
he returned to Oblivion.

NOTES: 1. Manual Trigram: "Secret" gesture of the BristerSotherhood of 0REZ,
           Trigrammarian, being one of the Forms of the Trigram, Psi-Chi-Delta;
           also serves as an object of meditation.
        2. Juice: Essence of Zen, or Living Zen, without which the gesture is
           a mere neuromuscular event, as in the case of the monkey.

IV   Biting Bark

Worky 0ne asked, "Why has the bark no bite (1)?"

NOTES: 1. Bark/Bite: a) Any teeth on that dog, or is it an empty threat?
           b) Any alkaloids in that bark that can be put to alchemical use?
           c) Any juice of Zen under that rind of dharma?

V   Little Smoke

Key Gong said, "It's like (1) just having filled up on a long draft of the
little smoke (2) when another fellow comes along and asks, 'What is the
meaning of this dharma (3)?'  If you open your mouth, you lose the meaning
(4); if you say nothing, you fail to turn on a friend (5)."

NOTES: 1. It's like: I didn't say "It is" (!)
        2. Little Smoke: A lovely little smoke (you be the judge).
        3. Meaning of dharma: Essence of Zen.
        4. Lose the meaning: Disconnect from direct appreciation of Illumina-
           tion due to distraction by questioner and answerer.
        5. Turn on a friend: Satisfy a thirsty guest; if the questioner is not
           a Gatekeeper, you pass a blessing thereto; if the questioner is a
           Gatekeeper, you share a little joke.

VI   Unformulated Dharma

Once, the Extra0rdinary 0ne (1) sat on his Haystack (2) and drew a Vegetable
Trigram (3) for his audience.  None of the monkeys reacted but for the glazed
eyes of 'Cause-of-a.  The Extra0rdinary 0ne said, "I have the Psych-eyed Delta,
(4), the Pyx of Immortality (5) , the Unformulated Dharma (6), the
Mysterious Presence (7).  Without hesitation, and in advance ( of this
pronouncement, I pass it to Great 'Cause-of-a."

NOTES: 1. Extra0rdinary 0ne (E.`.0.`.): a) One who realizes the Supreme Illumi-
           nation, i.e., a Buddha; b) The E.`.0.`. Grade of the BristerSother-
           hood, which does not make noise.
        2. Haystack: Mountain of dharma in which is hidden somewhere the needle
           of Zen.
        3. Vegetable Trigram: Another Form of the Trigram, being a glorification
           or alchemical resurrection of the vegetable kingdom.
        4. Psych-Eyed Delta: Another Form of the Trigram, and sign of the Mage
           Grade of the BristerSotherhood, being a Trigonon Prophetikon repre-
           senting the integration of past, present, and future, circumscribed
           by the Eye of Atman.
        5. Pyx of Immortality: Yet another Form of the Trigram, being a Grail
           containing the Elixer of Immortality, or simply another juice-bearing
           dharma device.
        6. Unformulated Dharma: The information behind the dharma; essence.
        7. Mysterious Presence: Another name of 0REZ, the Absolute Being.
        8. In advance: All beings are primarily Buddha; this is not granted by
           ceremonies and pronouncements.

VII   Bowel Movement

A monkey said to Joe Shoe, "I've just arrived here and I pray for a teaching."
Joe Shoe asked, "Have you eaten yet?"  "Yes, I have", replied the monkey.
"Then move what bowel wilt (1)."  The monkey achieved Illumination.

NOTES: 1. Move what bowel wilt: (Worded in honor of Exlaxter Crowley); "Step
           aside, small fried eggo, the train of karma is coming through"; after
           all, the self is but a nervous knot which enjoys no mastery over the
           material realm, external or internal.

VIII   Get 0nions

Get 0n said to a monkey, "Catch You used to sell onions (1).  If we removed
the skins, layers, and cores (2), what would be obvious?"

NOTES: 1. Onions: Layers and layers of dharma, and yet you just can't seem to
           get down to the essence.
        2. Cores: "The cores are always with us," Letis said.

IX   Stone Buddha

A monkey asked Joker You, "Dead Stone Buddha (1) sat in meditation for ten
aeons and came to nothing, nor did he achieve Buddhahood.  Why not?"  Joker
said, "Da geht es eine interessante donkey (2)."  Unsatisfied, the monkey
persisted, "Why did he not achieve Buddhahood after sitting so long?"  Joker
replied, "Because he just sat there (3)."

NOTES: 1. Stone Buddha: Various meditative routines, including but not limited
           to: zazen, TM, visual pond (open-eyed space), audio-horizon extension
           (open-eared space), blind crawl/walk/run (open-body space), violet
           run (inner vision); These may or may not be assisted by alchemical
           supplements.
        2. Da geht...donkey: "There goes it an interesting thingy": a) your
           question is interesting; b) that you ask is interesting; c) some-
           thing totally unrelated is interesting.
        3. Just sat there: a) wasn't meditating; b) was meditating, but no one
           achieves Buddhahood by sitting.

[Cramulus]

Getting closer to finding Kerry. That's the mystery I'm curious about today: how did Kerry Thornley react to alt-discordia?

Got a clue here - it's an e-mail from Dec 28 1997 where a friend updates the Discordian Society about Kerry Thornley's failing health...

Thought you folks might be interested in this update from Atlanta.
Pardon the line lengths....direct cut & paste from an earlier post.
Oh, and thanks, Geoff, for correcting my reference to Mal 2 as
being Kerry.  The world ain't a perfect place, but you're still the
perfect fucking Grinch.

Fra Flat

Just got off the phone w/ Sondra London & Kerry Thornley.  Kerry had been in
the
hospital, his lungs filled with fluid, and undergoing extensive dialysis.  The
good news is that he was released yesterday, & is feeling much better!

A little background:  Sondra (the Erisian Elestria) had called me on Christmas
Eve Day, very distraught.  She had heard from Kerry's family that he was
gravely ill.  Kerry called her the same day, & sounded "out of it".  He told
Sondra to "get on down here" if you want to see me alive.

Fortunately, i was able to put Sondra in touch with some fellow Discordians in
Atlanta (the illustrious Mr A. & Ms. T...aka GoMcC) who put her up until she
was able to contact Kerry's folk & locate him.  and, courtesy of the same folk,
if the Old Bull Goose Discordian is up to it tomorrow, they'll put him on the
Net to see his
Web page, and the Plethora of Discordiana that the P.D. has generated in
cyberspace.

Kerry is still suffering from kidney failure, and the prognosis is uncertain at
this time.  Elestria will be in Atlanta with him till the 31st, and will keep
us updated
until then.  He seemed in high spirits when I spoke to him.

Now's the time for all you Discoheads to acknowledge the effect Kerry and the
P.D. have had on your lives.  He is still in need of your prayers, workings,
and
rituals.  Please take a few moments to return some of the joy & inspiration
that
Kerry's work has provided us.

I was also disturbed to learn from Elestria that Kerry has only received three
or
four orders for the P.D.  Folks, c'mon!  This is a chance to own a piece of
history!
Take that $20 from Aunt Hilda, and send it down!   Ask politely for a signed
copy, and you've got it.  Guaranteed, it will give you that nice warm
feeling...just like wetting your pants!  The address is at
http/members.aol.com/flatgelat/pager.html#polyfather

Best wishes from Frater Flat, Kerry.   Keep on Truckin'!

[Cramulus]

Kerry Went South
by Sondra London
The Erisian Elestria

New Years Day 1998

On Christmas Day at 3:00 p.m. I had a call from my dear friend Kerry Thornley,
the co-author with Greg Hill of Principia Discordia, saying he had just been
released from the hospital and "if you want to see me, you'd better get here
today." He gave me a phone number to call, so that when I got to the Atlanta
airport his ex-wife Cara or his son Kreg could come pick me up .

It was intense. That number was Cara's work number. When he gave it to me, he
was not in his right mind. I talked to her too but I didn't think to verify the
phone number with her. When I reached the Atlanta airport, I kept calling that
number, but after three hours of reaching the same machine, finally some
beautiful Discordians who did not know me picked me up at the airport at
midnite & took me to their home 50 miles away.

Before I could get to Atlanta Cara had taken him to another hospital emergency
room, and they were there from 9:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. and all they really did
to treat him was to catherize him (he could neither urinate nor defecate) and
refer him back to the hospital that had discharged him. They went there (after
being up all night) and they yanked the catheter causing bleeding but would not
admit him. All this time I was at the Discordians' place and could not find out
anything because nobody was getting the messages I was leaving on the work
phone. They did not know where I was. I did not know where they were. [HAIL
ERIS!]

Finally the next day they dialyzed Kerry, and I took the train into town &
waited near the dialysis center and Cara picked him up and then picked me up
and took the two of us out to his place and left us there.

I spent 3 day-nites alone with Kerry in his place - a tiny bare room in a
bizarre old unheated house on a wooded hillside with a waterfall and a stream
in back. He has 2 space heaters but he leaves his door open so his 10 cats can
come & go.

There is a phone but it's like a bootleg party line with some business and you
can only call out in the middle of the night or some time when you know the
business is not going to pick up the phone - and nobody can call you there.

He was discharged from the hospital by a substitute doctor after some
ill-defined dispute at 3:00 a.m. Christmas morning; the only reason he wasn't
put out in the street without a ride was because a sympathetic nurse ignored
doctor's orders and allowed him to sleep through the night on a stretcher in
the hall. His real doctor was on holiday and could not see him until today.

Kerry is seriously ill: primary diagnosis is Wegener's granulomatosis (a fatal
auto-immune disease); secondary diagnoses are chronic renal failure; congestive
heart failure; endocarditis; and pneumonia. Troubling symptoms are shortness of
breath; difficulty urinating and defecating, sore mouth/thrush; bilateral
conjunctivitis; dry, cracked skin with bleeding sores all over.

He did not remember telling me to "get here today," or answering me when I
asked, "Kerry, are you dying?" with "Well, what do you think?"

Once I got there he minimized his condition. When he called before I left he
didn't even mention the inflammation of the lining of his heart, which I
learned from Cara was what put him in the hospital this last time.

Kreg had told him "You're going to have to start taking this SERIOUSLY!" and
the whole time I was there he grumbled and growled again and again about how he
never wanted to see his son's face again because he never appreciates his
jokes.

He wouldn't even let me put lotion on his cracked & bleeding back that was
itching like crazy. I slept in the same bed with him and he didn't want me to
touch him even in his sleep. The first night he stayed up all night pacing and
raving. I wept quite a lot. The second and third nights I gave him 1 mg of my
own Xanax so SOMEBODY could get some rest... (that was after I heard him say
they had given him Xanax in the hospital). He tolerated it fine and got a good
rest (so did I!).

I had a couple of fights with him over the fact he won't care for himself or
allow any of the people who love him care for him; he puts those damn cats
ahead of everyone & everything.

While I was there cats shit and pissed and threw up on the floor and one
brought in a BIG NASTY RAT!!!! Kerry picked unidentified vermin off the cats
and squished them.

The fourth day I took him on a taxi-train-bus-transfer journey into what he
calls "enemy territory" - Cobb County, where they have, like, banned gays and a
whole bunch of other obnoxious stuff, and he has published many outrageous
rants against them. So he could meet the Discordians and see his own website
for the first time.

He lives over 1/4 mile out this unpaved lane. You have to walk uphill to the
real road, then another 1/4 mile to the bus stop. There was ice on that rocky,
rough road. His lungs were full. Coughing and hacking, he couldn't walk more
than 3-4 steps without having to pause and rest. Still, he refused to let me
call a taxi! Finally, I showed him my watch, that we had already missed the bus
for the second time, so grudgingly he allowed me to turn him around and head
back to the house and call a taxi to take us to the train station.

While we waited for the taxi I sat with Molly purring on my lap as the radio
played Beethoven's Ninth - the Ode to Joy never hung so bittersweet in the air.

I kept crying the whole time. Tears just flowing.

Standing in the wind waiting for a transfer, he turned to me and said, "Either
this bus is going to come or I'm going to die of pneumonia." I tried to get him
to turn around & go back to his place & get back in bed but he turned fierce
and abusive.

"This was a harebrained goddamned idea to come out here."

"You're right. It's my fault. Please, let's just go back."

"NO! After we came this far?"

So we continued our quixotic voyage.

We got on the bus and I sat one seat away from him with my bag between us. I
just withdrew from him.

Uncharacteristically, he reached towards me, touched my arm and smiled.

I was wary. "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"You're not?"

"Of course not! Why should I be?"

So I scooted over and sat right next to him and then when he began to drowse
off, I put my arm around his shoulders to steady him as the bus swayed and
swerved along. He felt so frail, as if he had puffed up with anger and then
shriveled up into his pain.

At one point, he turned to me and said, "I think I really am dying this time."

"Maybe you'll get better."

After we got there it really turned out well. Three Discordians live there, and
when Kerry and I arrived, we made five.

We bundled him in quilts and ensconced him on a folded-out futon in the middle
of the room and he dozed off for awhile. We brewed him some mouth-soothing
slippery elm herb tea. I had to hold the cup for him to drink it, but after
that he perked up. After a second cup he was able to have an oven-fresh biscuit
and some cheese (all he could eat for the day) and he had a real good time.

About a half dozen young Discordians arrived one by one bringing their
Principias to get autographed and to meet and converse with him. One - Mister
Antithesis - posed with him proudly displaying the tattoo on his arm of the
Golden Kallisti Apple with the Sacred Chao.

After I showed him the website I made for him, they showed him some of the
other Discordian sites on the Web, including one of the entire Principia.

One Discordian named Frater Flatulus Gelatinus (who had kindly summoned the
other Discordians to come rescue me) kept in touch by phone... Flat was posting
emails and bulletins to alt.discordia. When we finally got Kerry up and online,
Flat convened a Discordian chat room session and Kerry got to participate in
his first (and probably only) chat session. We read the questions out loud to
him and as he said his answers we keyed them in for him.

He really rallied during that hour or so there. He was lucid and funny with
flashes of outrageous brilliance and beauty. He was as gracious and charming as
he can be at his best. It didn't last long but we had a little portable tape
recorder picking up most of the discourse.

We spent the night there together on that futon that night with the help of
another round of Xanax and the next day a Discordian grant paid for a taxi
direct to dialysis. I went with him and waited four hours lurking around
various spots trying to stay warm while writing one of my marathon letters to
Danny Rolling about this and all the other stuff that is going on.

After Kerry got out of dialysis he was crankier than ever and we had a big
fight because I told him the Discordians had contributed $20, enough to pay for
a taxi home from dialysis.  "Thank you," he said, for the money, and then said
he was going to take the bus and walk anyway because he needed to "buy some
stuff" and he had no money. I know EXACTLY what he was going to buy. Cat food.

I had arranged for him to go to a professor's apartment and stay there until
Cara could get Kreg's car and drive him home. Oh that pissed him off something
terrible and he was blasting away at me, her, him and all humankind.

He said he would be suicidal if he didn't have those cats. It was me that gave
him the first one - Molly, MY cat, who I couldn't keep because of my fugitive
lifestyle. He shaped his life around caring for her and then all the other cats
that came around. His cat entourage.

I have offered to house and care for him and so have several other people,
including his ex-wife, but nobody will take in all those cats.

He says sick people who have pets get better and old people live longer. And
his cats make him happy. He just doesn't care at all for his own physical self,
nor for all the people who love him, nor for the creative genius within him.
The drafty room, the vermin, the allergens, the careless depositing of animal
wastes... this can't be good for his physical health. But to HIM, their company
is central to his mental health.

I asked him, "if you really are dying, what do you want to do or complete or
take care of before you go?" And he said, "I just want to be sure my cats are
taken care of."

"How about your writing? Your artwork? Your works in progress?"

"Oh I don't care about any of that stuff."

I asked him if he would like me to be his literary executor, and he said he
would, so I handwrote up a statement to that effect, and when I came to the
part about the beneficiary - "Who would that be - Kreg? Or Cara?"

"No. Kreg is going to inherit some money and Cara doesn't need anything. If
anything you publish by me ever makes any money I just want it to go to my
cats."

I told him I was crying so much not JUST because of him but because when he
called me Christmas, I was already way over my limit of emotional tolerance in
my struggle with The Death  Machine - starting in July when they killed Joe
O'Dell after he had been separated from me FOREVER by this millionaire femme
fatale, and then going up through now with Danny - the whole thing has just
really been getting to me, and then on top of that, Kerry drawing me into his
struggle with this other Face of Death.

I explained how hurt I was that the Death Machine had taken Joe O'Dell away
from me and I couldn't even say goodbye, and I was afraid that would happen
with Danny Rolling.

"Yeah, I know how you feel," he sympathized. "That was how I felt when that dog
killed Billy...." and he went on and on and on and ON! about what a GREAT cat
Billy was.... and you have to understand I've been listening to this cat
nonsense for about a hundred hours straight by this time, and I just said,
"Yeah, well, you know what? I'm GLAD Billy's gone, because maybe now you'll be
able to notice the PEOPLE AROUND YOU who LOVE YOU." (Hint, hint! HELLO?)

Of course I know he is dying and he is frightened and hurting. But I'm hurting
too, you know! And finally I just said "OK, FINE! Just go on & DIE, then,
dammit, if that's what you want! You just walk down that damn icy road. And
when you slip or twist your ankle and you're laying there freezing to death
because nobody is gonna go that way for DAYS, you remember ME, you remember I'm
the one that got you the damn money to take a taxi and you told me NO!"

"I'm not going to slip. I have good shoes. Exercise is good for kidney
patients."

"I just don't want to leave you this way, Kerry."

"Then come spend the night with me again."

"No. I'm exhausted. It's freezing. I don't do weather. And I don't do walking.
It costs $10 to get down there from the train station and another $10 to get
back, and I already ran out of my own money and their money too."

"Well, all right, then." And he turned away.

"Kerry?"

He stopped.

"Goodbye?"

"Goodbye."

And he just turned and walked away.

I stood there in the wind and the snow and sobbed openly like a little child
watching him walk out of my life. Aw SHIT. It can't go like that.

I yelled,  "Kerry!" and "KERRY!!" but he kept walking. So I started running,
but he was walking so slow I caught up just walking and just slipped up next to
him and put my arm through his without a word.

Without looking up, he said "You wanna come have a cup of coffee with me?"

(Crying so hard I can't speak) "Nn-hn."

"It's really good cappucino... they've got a machine at this Texaco up
here..... you'll like it...."

And I just held his arm and struggled to compose myself as we walked to the
Texaco. While we stood there in the Texaco and drank cappucino, our talk of
death and separation was subdued. I told him I was sorry I yelled at him, I was
just afraid I'd never see him again.

After then cappucino was finished we walked to the Midtown station in silence,
then stopped in front of the station. "I just want you to know that I love you,
Kerry."

"I love you too," he said with a slight rueful smile and leaned towards me. We
touched foreheads as we looked deep into each other's eyes. There was one last
long hug. Then he went south and I went north.

*********

The Ancient Abbreviated Calif of California (aka Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, Ho
Chi Zen, Jesse Sump, Bullgoose of Limbo, Grand Ballyhoo of Egypt & President of
the Fair Play for Switzerland Committee) launches his exclusive cyberdomain
under the benevolent protection of his Most High Priestess,  The Erisian
Elestria, with his Discordian Manifesto: The Gospel According to an Anarchistic
Robot.

http://www.sondralondon.com/new/thornley/thornley.html

*********

Please allow me to encourage you to write to Kerry Thornley and express your
appreciation for what Discordianism has done for you. You can also order the
Principia Discordia for $10 from its co-author at: PO Box 5381, Atlanta GA
31107.

"Only when individuals collapse - one at a time, first here and then there -
does social order then also eventually decay. Through the collapse of human
beings - a Wilhelm Reich here, a Lenny Bruce there, a Janis Joplin elsewhere -
the social order begins to crack and heave, edging toward ruin."
- Kerry Thornley

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Interesting... I was heavily into Usenet at that time, but I don't recall ever visiting alt.discordia. Of course, I was only very ambivalently Discordian then... I thought it was all pretty stupid.

[Cramulus]

Ooh! a gem ---

Gregory Hill's usenet post history

http://groups.google.com/groups/profile?enc_user=n2ZmNhAAAAD-Edod2MQLYd3SR8xyKuR7

looks like this will only be available until Nov 1 2011, so do your mining now!


He only posted to alt.discordia 4 times... mostly to call out a scientologist

He posted the most on alt.prophecies.nostradamus -- also, just to flame a troll

[Cramulus]

ah, reading in more depth, I don't know that Kerry ever POSTED to alt.discordia

About a half dozen young Discordians arrived one by one bringing their
Principias to get autographed and to meet and converse with him. One - Mister
Antithesis - posed with him proudly displaying the tattoo on his arm of the
Golden Kallisti Apple with the Sacred Chao.

After I showed him the website I made for him, they showed him some of the
other Discordian sites on the Web, including one of the entire Principia.

One Discordian named Frater Flatulus Gelatinus (who had kindly summoned the
other Discordians to come rescue me) kept in touch by phone... Flat was posting
emails and bulletins to alt.discordia. When we finally got Kerry up and online,
Flat convened a Discordian chat room session and Kerry got to participate in
his first (and probably only) chat session. We read the questions out loud to
him and as he said his answers we keyed them in for him.

He really rallied during that hour or so there. He was lucid and funny with
flashes of outrageous brilliance and beauty. He was as gracious and charming as
he can be at his best. It didn't last long but we had a little portable tape
recorder picking up most of the discourse.

We spent the night there together on that futon that night with the help of
another round of Xanax and the next day a Discordian grant paid for a taxi
direct to dialysis. I went with him and waited four hours lurking around
various spots trying to stay warm while writing one of my marathon letters to
Danny Rolling about this and all the other stuff that is going on.

here's the page in history where this occurs... http://groups.google.com/group/alt.discordia/topics?start=15120&sa=N