It's all fake.

[Kai]

My cousins watch television. They love their television. The young ones watch Disney, the older watch sitcom and drama. While I was at El Museo, I stayed with family and so by proxy saw more than I cared of the stuff. And as bad as the banal idiotic childrens programming, the family dramedies and crime drama circuses were, the worst of it all to view was The Office.

Why The Office? Because the whole time I watched, I was struck by how completely ineffectual and worthless the day to day activities of these characters actually were, and that this is /exactly/ how office culture works. There was zero productivity, certainly no MEANINGFUL productivity, the sort that is enjoyable and gives life some meaning beyond the shallow two week survival tickets. I realized again just how utterly fake our whole "economy" is. We manufacture and sell useless junk so that other people can buy useless junk and throw it away so everyone will buy more useless junk, and then those who don't sell useless junk sell ineffectual, near worthless incremental services. Look again at The Office characters, they are the paragon of the American service sector. They "work" (if it could be called that) in a paper company which just distributes paper, doesn't make it, and they spend most of their time in petty interpersonal drama and "meetings", with some event on the horizon to take ones attention away from the dull meaningless existence they live.

THIS IS AMERICA. This is our worthless, completely ineffectual FAKE society. The economy is fake, the work is fake (and meaningless), our government is fake, IT'S ALL FUCKING FAKE. People are living until they die, and that's the whole of existence.

And now I have to be part of it.

[Salty]

Yep. And if you're lucky enough you can find yourself a "satisfying" job, one that feels good, like you're contributing something. But that's merely a flashy show, propped up with smoke and mirrors and shared by a common understanding that this is COOL and something everybody wants. And you can spend your day bitching about trifles that mean even less. Why doesn't the vending machine have anything good in it? How come they haven't come by with more bottles for the water cooler? It's been two days already! This place is a joke, everyone is incompetent.

Yeah. It's a joke all right. But on whom?

[Kai]

Yep. And if you're lucky enough you can find yourself a "satisfying" job, one that feels good, like you're contributing something. But that's merely a flashy show, propped up with smoke and mirrors and shared by a common understanding that this is COOL and something everybody wants. And you can spend your day bitching about trifles that mean even less. Why doesn't the vending machine have anything good in it? How come they haven't come by with more bottles for the water cooler? It's been two days already! This place is a joke, everyone is incompetent.

Yeah. It's a joke all right. But on whom?

The jokes on us. The jokes on all of us. The joke is on me even. I spent the last 3 years learning how to do something with my life that I consider worthwhile and meaningful. Now I can't even do it, not out of lack of motivation, but because I will be unable to support myself, I will be homeless and starving, in debt. So I'm staying with my parents and searching for work which has nothing to do with my meaningful intent. It's hard to keep from screaming.

[Salty]

I am so sorry, Kai.

I know exactly how that feels, and I can't say it gets any easier. For four years I put in the effort to contribute meaningfully to this world with my own two hands and got a little better than nothing for it. It can get more comfortable, which is a sorry tradeoff that only makes me want to scream louder.

[Doktor Howl]

Of course it's fake.  Otherwise, it might be a little too real.

Because John Q Public wouldn't have it any other way.

[Luna]

My meaningful contribution, at the moment, is writing those survival slips for people failing to do their jobs.  (My opinion of the public school system has been aired.)

I need to work on my life, in multiple areas.

[Cramulus]

Scattered thoughts on Monday Morning

It just makes you sicker and sicker every day until you can't take it anymore.








suffocation by humdrum
The executioner: the glass-eyed barbarity of everyday life.


Out here on the fringe,
We've gotten really good at calling a spade a spade
We see the problem, we just don't know what to do about it.


"Goddamn floating whorehouse. Death is the navigator"   --William Burroughs


So we've called out the problem. And what are we to do about it?


I say...

On a personal scale:
There have always been monks and scholars and poets who effortlessly push aside the status quo with their left hand. This is the postmodern dream. Easy to say, hard to do: If the world is not to your taste, change your taste.

The poet MF DOOM puts it thusly:

It ain't all about the dollar bill,
You can be dead broke and be a scholar still.

On a larger scale:        ?
And on the note of feeling like you can affect the avalanche's trajectory----
This is what culture jamming is really for

This is what the breach experiments are all about

Reality is socially constructed

Inject one surreal spike, create an experience which is absurd to the illusion, and all the parts of the illusion will have a moment of self-examination.

Those poor kids who have been watching Disney sunsets all their lives, you gotta get them outside and sic the mosquitoes on them.

Show them the TRUE SOURCE

Give them a whiff of the REAL SIGNAL

you can't find the true source on TV or the mall or in your paycheck

you are already connected to the true source--it's what is giving you this fire and strength to write what you've written.

This is the gnostic myth we are all living: you and the true source must team up against the false world

[Doktor Howl]

Pretty sure it's up to each primate to decide what has actual meaning.

Pretty sure life is a short moment between being born and dying, and worrying about "meaningful" as an objective thing is senseless.  In a hundred years, nobody will know or care what we've done, so we may as well find things to do that we enjoy.

That being said, the United States in the 21st century is a bad place to be a professional scientist, and if I were in your boots, Kai, I'd be taking a good long look at other countries.  Canada is still funding science, and so is a good chunk of Europe, both in agricultural science more than anything else, which is right up your alley.  You might also want to take a look at Australia.

Also:  Damn near nobody works in their major.  I know I'm not.  I found something closely related, and settled in.  It pays the bills, stays interesting, and I have time to think and do the things I find important, though not as much as if I didn't have to punch the clock.  Hell, I can't even remember how to do calculus, anymore.

Lastly, stop worrying.  Worrying accomplishes nothing but ulcers.  I know it's easier to say than to do, but there you have it.

[Doktor Howl]

Cram,

What's a "true source"?

[Cramulus]

the true source is something personal to you that ignites you.


it is what motivates you to push through the bullshit.



it is the thing that the Consumer World and the World of Horrible Jobs distracts you from.



When you tap into the true source, it electrifies you, and nothing else will ever come close.



        ^ As we can see here, the true source is wild, it's experiential, it's life

[Doktor Howl]

the true source is something personal to you that ignites you.


it is what motivates you to push through the bullshit.



it is the thing that the Consumer World and the World of Horrible Jobs distracts you from.



When you tap into the true source, it electrifies you, and nothing else will ever come close.



        ^ As we can see here, the true source is wild, it's experiential, it's life

It's Slack™.

[Doktor Howl]

And that lack thereof seems to be the problem, here.  Kai has misplaced his Slack™.

I concur completely with your first statement, Cram.

[Doktor Howl]

Kai,

You may remember that Cain went through this EXACT SAME PROBLEM when he finished school.  The same events, in the same order...And he's doing fine, now.

Keep the faith.

[Cramulus]

damn right it's Slack^TM!


Last week I found myself in suffering from the Real World of Horrible Jobs. It had all been weighing on me - how dirty the world is, how little I'm able to affect it, the inconsequential mark I'll leave on history, this dead end job I work, etc etc etc

so I blew off work, crammed my roommates into the car, and we drove into Connecticut to visit the Aquarium.

A day of looking at exotic fish while making dick jokes with my best friends was JUST WHAT THE DOKTOR ORDERED.

I'm back at my desk on Monday right now, but I feel 50% less stressed.

[East Coast Hustle]

I've found that if you do what you want and do it well, you'll find a way to make it pay for the essentials. And if you keep in mind that it's about doing what you want and NOT paying the bills, you may very well find yourself in a position to do both pretty effectively.