ITT: The New American Dream

[Richter]

I want to blow away sharks from a plastic kayak, ostriches from a WWII vintage BMW motorcycle, and eagles from a lawn chair hot air balloon with a .50 caliber rifle.

That's my American Dream.

[Richter]

I want a fucking death ray, and I don't want anyone else to have one.  Because I'm the RESPONSIBLE one dmanit.


That's my American Dream.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I want to pump my scrotum full of helium and dogfight Richter in his lawn-chair-balloon above a PETA rally, but with real dogs.

That's my American Dream.

[Luna]

I want to pump my scrotum full of helium and dogfight Richter in his lawn-chair-balloon above a PETA rally, but with real dogs.

That's my American Dream.

I want to watch.

With a BB gun.

That's my American Dream.

[Adios]

In a surprise move the state of Texas has seceded from the United States. One of their first moves was to closely ally with China, who immediately began setting up missile bases.

After repeated warnings from the U.S. and an embargo that is expected to last at least three generations, no action to stand down was taken by either Texas or China.

Under Presidential orders the Pentagon launched a pre-emptive strike at Austin, destroying the Chinese Base there.

Texans have taken up the battle cry of "Remember the AlaHole!"

China has come forward with evidence of an 11th hour back room deal with the President made just after all talks had failed with Texas to stave off their secession.

The evidence is a Deed of Trust signing the state over to China in favor of China forgiving all U.S. debt.

China has said that any further aggression on the part of the Empire of the United States would be met with nuclear retaliation.

Congress has decided to build a fence along the entire border with Texas, except for 500 miles located near large population centers.

(inspired by Cain)

That's my American Dream.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

[Cramulus]

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I will write the great American ASCII dick novel.

That's my American Dream.

[kingyak]

To own a midget who owns a monkey.

[AFK]

To get my own reality TV cooking interior design song and dance vaudeville show...

That's my American Dream.

To kick Rod Stewart in his ugly face.

That's my American Dream.

To enjoy a lovely, frosty adult beverage and watch the world burn. 

That's my American Dream.

[kingyak]

Also, to own a monkey who owns a midget.

I'd like to observe the differences in the power dynamic between the midget who owns the monkey and the monkey he owns and the monkey who owns the midget and midget he owns. My hypothesis: hilarity ensues.