DEVASTATION DESTINY

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well, learning to be functionally literate is a good first step. Next maybe we can talk about punctuation and grammar.

Then how's he going to demonstrate his rebel/punk credentials, such as they are?  

nExT hE'lL bE dOiNg ThIs

That's PUNK AS FUCK.  It totally exposes the alienation inherent in the system.

[Doktor Howl]

LMNO, if he's on the interbutts to "learn", we should just send him to fucking TCC.

[LMNO]

Dok, if it's a teenager, of COURSE it's an idiot.  That's like, the definition of teenager (except for yours).

But i think you're right about poptard.

Doesn't matter, anyway.  Anarcho-punks are damn near as fun as teabaggers are, maybe more.

And God knows we can't get a tea party member to post at all.

Because people like you and Payne fuck it all up for everyone.

Hey, they're asking for it, being all sexy and petulantly obtuse and shit.

Who are we?

We're the helpful people.  The people who give you what you want, not what you asked for.  The people who know the words you use are masks for the festering scabs peeling off the sorry excuse you have for a soul.  We're the fixers.  The helpers.  The people who will make things better for you, until your skin starts to soften and melt because of all the help we have to give.

Who are we?

[Phox]

Hello, Killjoy, I admire your persistence in the face of adversity, and therefore I will, in fact, educate yuo. At the moment, I must leave and take care of some business elsewhere, but I will address you properly when I return.

[Luna]

Hello, Killjoy, I admire your persistence in the face of adversity, and therefore I will, in fact, educate yuo. At the moment, I must leave and take care of some business elsewhere, but I will address you properly when I return.

Ah, there you are!  I'd wondered.

[Doktor Howl]

We're the helpful people.  The people who give you what you want, not what you asked for.  The people who know the words you use are masks for the festering scabs peeling off the sorry excuse you have for a soul.  We're the fixers.  The helpers.  The people who will make things better for you, until your skin starts to soften and melt because of all the help we have to give.

Who are we?

We're the robot people.  We teach you to be robots.  We're the people who tell you where to put it, and when.  We make things safe and happy and fun, and all at a price that our competitors can't come near!  We put granny on the stairs, because the humans have to be protected.

Who are we?

[Freeky]

Who are we?

We're the clean people.  We clean up your messes, and boy are those messes something!  Your messes are so huge that they cover the entire globe.  But don't you fret, for a nominal fee and the price of FREEDOM^TM you can stop worrying about those messes tonight!  For a limited time only and your child's future, we can blame the mess on Them!  Order now, stock is limited!

[Doktor Howl]

Who are we?

We're the clean people.  We clean up your messes, and boy are those messes something!  Your messes are so huge that they cover the entire globe.  But don't you fret, for a nominal fee and the price of FREEDOM^TM you can stop worrying about those messes tonight!  For a limited time only and your child's future, we can blame the mess on Them!  Order now, stock is limited!

We're the clean-up people.  We clean your head up.  No more worrying about the government or the banks or who's minding the fort, or driving the train, or walking into the building with a suspicious package!  Order today, and we'll do all the cleaning, everywhere, and there'll me no more sticky people walking up the underside of your stairwells.

Who are we?

[Freeky]

Who are we?

We're the clean people.  We clean up your messes, and boy are those messes something!  Your messes are so huge that they cover the entire globe.  But don't you fret, for a nominal fee and the price of FREEDOM^TM you can stop worrying about those messes tonight!  For a limited time only and your child's future, we can blame the mess on Them!  Order now, stock is limited!

We're the clean-up people.  We clean your head up.  No more worrying about the government or the banks or who's minding the fort, or driving the train, or walking into the building with a suspicious package!  Order today, and we'll do all the cleaning, everywhere, and there'll me no more sticky people walking up the underside of your stairwells.

Who are we?

We're the shiny people.  We make everything shine up all shiny and clean.  See those smudges on your clothes, in the news, those people walking's skin?  Not anymore you don't!  We get rid of the smudges and put good old fashioned American Values Shine(c) in its place, because that's what you deserve.  Isn't it time everything in your world was Shined?

[LMNO]

Who are we?

We're the values people.  We have them.  You need them.  We're the people who will give it to you.  We'll tell you the right™ things to think, and the right™ things to say.  We've done the leg work for you.  We're the offering people.  We're happy to let you have the right™ values.  We're the people who know that what you're thinking is wrong.  The knowing people.  The people who want you to be happy.  Happy like us.

Who are we?

[Doktor Howl]

We're the janitor people.  We clean and fix your fucked up thread.  No need to thank us, citizen, it's why we're here.  You're why we're here.  And when you're gone, we'll be gone, too.

Who are we?

[Doktor Howl]

You fuckers ran him off.

[Payne]

We're the janitor people.  We clean and fix your fucked up thread.  No need to thank us, citizen, it's why we're here.  You're why we're here.  And when you're gone, we'll be gone, too.

Who are we?

We're the thinking people. We package all your ideas with a nice little branded bow so people know you got the good stuff. We digest every kernal of information and discard the unneccessary and the distasteful, leaving you with that gleaming tidbit of fact you can use to trump anyone who doesn't use our brand of knowledge. We do all this thinking for you out of love, and you love us for it.

Who are we?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

You fuckers ran him off.

Meh. He's probably in school. Computer class is over?

[Doktor Howl]

You fuckers ran him off.

Meh. He's probably in school. Computer class is over?

I refuse to believe that my anarchist mentor in all things punk would allow The Man to hammer him into a desk at school.

So you SHUT UP!  YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MAGICKL MOUTH!