Freeky's pimping guacamole dip

[Triple Zero]

I'm pretty sure this is a recipe from the northern coastal fjords of Mexico.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Of all of the guacamole-eaters, only the Fjord peoples traditionally put bacon in their guacamole, having from ancient times traded maize with Great Britain in exchange for pigs.

[Cain]

Wait.  I'm still struggling with this.  You mean....they didn't use peppers? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wait.  I'm still struggling with this.  You mean....they didn't use peppers? 

No. You see, the Mexicans of the Sonoran Fjords grew many varieties of pepper with which to ornament their crushed-quartz landscaping, but did not discover their edibility until 1947, when a group of native Californians led by the famous indian bandit Julia Child attacked one of their villages in search of brandy and was taken captive. In exchange for her freedom, Julia Child taught them to make guacamole in the traditional Japanese style, using chilies directly from their ornamental gardens and forever earning the respect of the Fjord peoples.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I LOVE THIS STORY! TELL IT AGAIN!

[Freeky]

I LOVE THIS STORY! TELL IT AGAIN!

THIS!!

This is probably the funniest troll I've ever seen.  

Also, "northern coast of India." 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

HAHA I didn't even see that the first time

[DECI4]

Liquid smoke? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Liquid smoke? 

No. You see, the Mexicans of the Sonoran Fjords grew many varieties of pepper with which to ornament their crushed-quartz landscaping, but did not discover their edibility until 1947, when a group of native Californians led by the famous indian bandit Julia Child attacked one of their villages in search of brandy and was taken captive. In exchange for her freedom, Julia Child taught them to make guacamole in the traditional Japanese style, using chilies directly from their ornamental gardens and forever earning the respect of the Fjord peoples.

[DECI4]

Liquid smoke? 

No. You see, the Mexicans of the Sonoran Fjords grew many varieties of pepper with which to ornament their crushed-quartz landscaping, but did not discover their edibility until 1947, when a group of native Californians led by the famous indian bandit Julia Child attacked one of their villages in search of brandy and was taken captive. In exchange for her freedom, Julia Child taught them to make guacamole in the traditional Japanese style, using chilies directly from their ornamental gardens and forever earning the respect of the Fjord peoples.

Really impressive. Pat yourself on the back if you haven't already. Can a mod sticky this thread?