Crap Joke thread.

[Triple Zero]

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

This is the best joke.

It is MY FAVORITE JOKE OF ALL TIME.

MINE TOO!

But we already established that amazing coincidence a couple of years back

[Luna]

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe -- but he had two extra things left over in his bag, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.

So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing -- and I guess you can have it."

"What's it called?" Eve asked.

"Multiple orgasms," God said.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

This is the best joke.

It is MY FAVORITE JOKE OF ALL TIME.

MINE TOO!

But we already established that amazing coincidence a couple of years back

But it NEVER gets old!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe -- but he had two extra things left over in his bag, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.

So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing -- and I guess you can have it."

"What's it called?" Eve asked.

"Multiple orgasms," God said.

[Reginald Ret]

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

This is the best joke.

It is MY FAVORITE JOKE OF ALL TIME.

MINE TOO!

But we already established that amazing coincidence a couple of years back

But it NEVER gets old!

And it's a great joke to write on toilet walls :P.

[BadBeast]

Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.

The first blonde said, "I think they're deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "I think they're dog tracks!"

The third blonde said, "Well, I think they're cow tracks!"

They were still arguing when the train hit them.



I don't know what disturbs me more about my attraction towards my girlfriend's mother.

The fact that she's 51 or the fact that she's also my mother.

[Penumbral]

Horse walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
Bartender turns to him and says, "What is this some sort of joke?"

[BadBeast]

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..."

[BadBeast]

"Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"

"Well, why don't you ask your sister?"

"But I don't have a..."