Payne, you're a swine.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I see you down there, pretending you aren't Scotnadian. 

You aren't fooling anyone.

[Payne]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

I was provoked. 

That old lady shouldn't ought to have done that.

[Payne]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

I was provoked. 

That old lady shouldn't ought to have done that.

Just 'cause you assume that every old woman is the Queen of England, you don't also have to assume that when she reaches into her bag she's about to brick you or unleash the war-Corgis.

And there are no "Sideways Eyes" like you keep shouting at them. And she's old. She has no money. She wouldn't give you a "Sideways Eye" even if she had one.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

I was provoked. 

That old lady shouldn't ought to have done that.

Just 'cause you assume that every old woman is the Queen of England, you don't also have to assume that when she reaches into her bag she's about to brick you or unleash the war-Corgis.

And there are no "Sideways Eyes" like you keep shouting at them. And she's old. She has no money. She wouldn't give you a "Sideways Eye" even if she had one.

1.  You can't be too careful.

2.  There are sideways people, which means there are "sideways eyes".  Sideways people have eyes.  It's the upside down people that rely on their tactile sense, like flounders.  Comes from walking on the bottom of stair risers, and other places where there's usually no light.  Like basements, sewers, and England.  Seeing as how the old broad was doing the sideways thing AND carrying a purse, it was reasonable to assume she was Queen Elizabeth, so I struck first.  If it was her and I didn't, it wouldn't be like there would be any chance for retaliation.  I'd be just another yankee with a depressed skull fracture.  Which is, of course, how we got Tennessee.

[Payne]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

I was provoked. 

That old lady shouldn't ought to have done that.

Just 'cause you assume that every old woman is the Queen of England, you don't also have to assume that when she reaches into her bag she's about to brick you or unleash the war-Corgis.

And there are no "Sideways Eyes" like you keep shouting at them. And she's old. She has no money. She wouldn't give you a "Sideways Eye" even if she had one.

1.  You can't be too careful.

2.  There are sideways people, which means there are "sideways eyes".  Sideways people have eyes.  It's the upside down people that rely on their tactile sense, like flounders.  Comes from walking on the bottom of stair risers, and other places where there's usually no light.  Like basements, sewers, and England.  Seeing as how the old broad was doing the sideways thing AND carrying a purse, it was reasonable to assume she was Queen Elizabeth, so I struck first.  If it was her and I didn't, it wouldn't be like there would be any chance for retaliation.  I'd be just another yankee with a depressed skull fracture.  Which is, of course, how we got Tennessee.

You do realise that when England declares war on Tucson we're not actually sending the Queen, right?

HO HO, nah, we're sending Mecha Maggie Thatcher.

She has TANK TREADS.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

I was provoked. 

That old lady shouldn't ought to have done that.

Just 'cause you assume that every old woman is the Queen of England, you don't also have to assume that when she reaches into her bag she's about to brick you or unleash the war-Corgis.

And there are no "Sideways Eyes" like you keep shouting at them. And she's old. She has no money. She wouldn't give you a "Sideways Eye" even if she had one.

1.  You can't be too careful.

2.  There are sideways people, which means there are "sideways eyes".  Sideways people have eyes.  It's the upside down people that rely on their tactile sense, like flounders.  Comes from walking on the bottom of stair risers, and other places where there's usually no light.  Like basements, sewers, and England.  Seeing as how the old broad was doing the sideways thing AND carrying a purse, it was reasonable to assume she was Queen Elizabeth, so I struck first.  If it was her and I didn't, it wouldn't be like there would be any chance for retaliation.  I'd be just another yankee with a depressed skull fracture.  Which is, of course, how we got Tennessee.

You do realise that when England declares war on Tucson we're not actually sending the Queen, right?

HO HO, nah, we're sending Mecha Maggie Thatcher.

She has TANK TREADS.

And poison darts.  She shoots them out of her IV stand, into traffic.

But we are not scared of her, as we are of the Queen.  Maggie would get halfway up the mountain, and forget where she was...And then start randomly savaging people in Alamagordo, New Mexico...No great loss.  The Queen, though, would be an entirely different story.  There wouldn't be a safe alley in the legal district.  There'd be dead lawyers and record execs outside every alleyway, and the homeless people would flee ahead of her like the Visigoths fled the Huns, with the result of them sacking central filth.

And that would mean no more Dirtyfun™ for anyone.  We'd be like people from the "new" Soho, only without the Thai rentboys.

[Payne]

I see you up there, pretending your face didn't fall off.

You're sick, Roger, and I recommend you to my plastic surgeon

I was provoked. 

That old lady shouldn't ought to have done that.

Just 'cause you assume that every old woman is the Queen of England, you don't also have to assume that when she reaches into her bag she's about to brick you or unleash the war-Corgis.

And there are no "Sideways Eyes" like you keep shouting at them. And she's old. She has no money. She wouldn't give you a "Sideways Eye" even if she had one.

1.  You can't be too careful.

2.  There are sideways people, which means there are "sideways eyes".  Sideways people have eyes.  It's the upside down people that rely on their tactile sense, like flounders.  Comes from walking on the bottom of stair risers, and other places where there's usually no light.  Like basements, sewers, and England.  Seeing as how the old broad was doing the sideways thing AND carrying a purse, it was reasonable to assume she was Queen Elizabeth, so I struck first.  If it was her and I didn't, it wouldn't be like there would be any chance for retaliation.  I'd be just another yankee with a depressed skull fracture.  Which is, of course, how we got Tennessee.

You do realise that when England declares war on Tucson we're not actually sending the Queen, right?

HO HO, nah, we're sending Mecha Maggie Thatcher.

She has TANK TREADS.

And poison darts.  She shoots them out of her IV stand, into traffic.

But we are not scared of her, as we are of the Queen.  Maggie would get halfway up the mountain, and forget where she was...And then start randomly savaging people in Alamagordo, New Mexico...No great loss.  The Queen, though, would be an entirely different story.  There wouldn't be a safe alley in the legal district.  There'd be dead lawyers and record execs outside every alleyway, and the homeless people would flee ahead of her like the Visigoths fled the Huns, with the result of them sacking central filth.

And that would mean no more Dirtyfun™ for anyone.  We'd be like people from the "new" Soho, only without the Thai rentboys.

The Queen is a kind soul, deep down.

Honest guv.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The Queen is a kind soul, deep down.

Honest guv.

They say Hitler loved his dog.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

WAR CORGIS

MY LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER.

[Payne]

The Queen is a kind soul, deep down.

Honest guv.

They say Hitler loved his dog.