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ITT: TGRR helps you with your personals ads.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 08, 2011, 06:09:42 PM

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Cramulus

#180
November 10, 2011, 05:26:56 PM
Can you write me one? I need to find the freaks. ("No freaks!") I get so sick of the inane "getting to know you" conversations, and as such, have never put much effort into the online dating thing -- so instead, I should probably just take it TO THE WALL.

TO THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL, I SAY!
           /
:judge:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#181
November 10, 2011, 05:32:13 PM
I think someone's biting your style, Rog... look what I just found:

QuoteSociopath Partner wanted...... - 59 (PDX)
Date: 2011-11-09, 10:03PM PST

I am a mainstream "empath" individual seeking to connect with a sociopath/bpd type personality as I enjoy the intrigue and adventures associated with said personality traits in place of regular vanilla type relations. We all have our dark sides and life is meant to be lived to the fullest in varied experiences. Regular relationships become mundane and routine in due time and sociopaths are superb at keeping relations interesting and mentally stimulating. Non smokers only please. Feel free to inquire with any questions.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#182
November 10, 2011, 05:40:44 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 10, 2011, 05:26:56 PM
Can you write me one? I need to find the freaks. ("No freaks!") I get so sick of the inane "getting to know you" conversations, and as such, have never put much effort into the online dating thing -- so instead, I should probably just take it TO THE WALL.

TO THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL, I SAY!
           /
:judge:

QuoteBuddhist Seeks Neurotic Woman to Knock Him Out of Satori

I have become bored with enlightenment and celibacy, and I need a woman with eyes like flint and a heart like a 9 pound hammer to knock me back down to Earth.  I'd list my hobbies, but they're all utter garbage.  Meditation techniques, shit like that.  Instead, you tell me YOUR hobbies, and which of them will strip away my holiness the fastest.  The ideal woman will also help me learn how to dress like an American male, instead of some saffron dress-wearing hippie from India...And also which bottles of what will help me erase a lifetime of navel-gazing, and which end of town is most suitable for wallowing in filth.

The only thing I want to keep from my previous life is the Zazzen thing, so you can hit me with sticks if you like.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#183
November 10, 2011, 05:41:46 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 10, 2011, 05:32:13 PM
I think someone's biting your style, Rog... look what I just found:

QuoteSociopath Partner wanted...... - 59 (PDX)
Date: 2011-11-09, 10:03PM PST

I am a mainstream "empath" individual seeking to connect with a sociopath/bpd type personality as I enjoy the intrigue and adventures associated with said personality traits in place of regular vanilla type relations. We all have our dark sides and life is meant to be lived to the fullest in varied experiences. Regular relationships become mundane and routine in due time and sociopaths are superb at keeping relations interesting and mentally stimulating. Non smokers only please. Feel free to inquire with any questions.

Yeah, I think I know who that is.  But it's cool.  The idea here is to poop all over the standard interbutts dating crap.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

#184
November 10, 2011, 05:45:23 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: PERFECT

posting that tonight



I owe you a handjob

BUT NOT FROM ME

I'll find a way....  :ECH:

Luna

#185
November 10, 2011, 06:30:44 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 10, 2011, 05:45:23 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: PERFECT

posting that tonight



I owe you a handjob

BUT NOT FROM ME

I'll find a way....  :ECH:

:spittake:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#186
November 10, 2011, 06:45:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 10, 2011, 05:41:46 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 10, 2011, 05:32:13 PM
I think someone's biting your style, Rog... look what I just found:

QuoteSociopath Partner wanted...... - 59 (PDX)
Date: 2011-11-09, 10:03PM PST

I am a mainstream "empath" individual seeking to connect with a sociopath/bpd type personality as I enjoy the intrigue and adventures associated with said personality traits in place of regular vanilla type relations. We all have our dark sides and life is meant to be lived to the fullest in varied experiences. Regular relationships become mundane and routine in due time and sociopaths are superb at keeping relations interesting and mentally stimulating. Non smokers only please. Feel free to inquire with any questions.

Yeah, I think I know who that is.  But it's cool.  The idea here is to poop all over the standard interbutts dating crap.

It's entertaining the shit out of me, actually... I love the idea of just clotting the fuck out of Craigslist with funny ads.

BTW, I now have four dates lined up from the ad you wrote for me, and the metal band guy must be doing OK because their practice pad is next to Produce Row, not a low-rent space. Apparently he's a fire alarm tech for a living, and he lives in Laurelhurst (very high-rent). My god, a man with a job, a car, a place, and a social life? Pinch me, I'm dreaming!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#187
November 10, 2011, 06:45:53 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 10, 2011, 05:45:23 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: PERFECT

posting that tonight



I owe you a handjob

BUT NOT FROM ME

I'll find a way....  :ECH:

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#188
November 10, 2011, 08:37:03 PM
HELLPP

I need some Libertarian rhetoric to put into a CL troll I'm writing right now.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cain

#189
November 10, 2011, 08:38:35 PM
Context?

LMNO

#190
November 10, 2011, 08:39:07 PM
Start with the idea of "privatize everything", and then TAKE IT TO THE WALL.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#191
November 10, 2011, 09:01:04 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 10, 2011, 08:38:35 PM
Context?

I'm using your idea as the basis for a personals ad by a supremely arrogant 28-year-old woman who absolutely will not consider anyone with less than a six-figure income.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cain

#192
November 10, 2011, 09:14:37 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 10, 2011, 09:01:04 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 10, 2011, 08:38:35 PM
Context?

I'm using your idea as the basis for a personals ad by a supremely arrogant 28-year-old woman who absolutely will not consider anyone with less than a six-figure income.

This should be of assistance http://www.mrdestructo.com/2010/05/meet-thomas-sowell-moron.html

The first few paragraphs, anyway.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#193
November 10, 2011, 09:46:16 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 10, 2011, 09:14:37 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 10, 2011, 09:01:04 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 10, 2011, 08:38:35 PM
Context?

I'm using your idea as the basis for a personals ad by a supremely arrogant 28-year-old woman who absolutely will not consider anyone with less than a six-figure income.

This should be of assistance http://www.mrdestructo.com/2010/05/meet-thomas-sowell-moron.html

The first few paragraphs, anyway.

SWEEEET thank you!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Anna Mae Bollocks

#194
November 10, 2011, 10:22:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 10, 2011, 03:58:15 PM
Stella, I can't improve on that.   :lulz:

:D Flattered!
...
...
I think. :?


Nobody messaged me, some jerk just grabbed me on chat and tried to get his pole greased.  :horrormirth:
I'm gonna have him go to Telephone Road or some other slum in Houston and wait for me.  :evil:

f18hornet59 52/M/StraightKaty, Texas.
[4:08:46 pm]f18hornet59:Hey there

[4:08:53 pm]f18hornet59:I been lookin for u

[4:09:02 pm]shaylasli:HI

[4:09:09 pm]f18hornet59:how r u

[4:09:10 pm]shaylasli:HOW R U???

[4:09:18 pm]f18hornet59:fine

[4:09:19 pm]shaylasli:IM GOOD

[4:09:31 pm]shaylasli:YOUR IN KATY?

[4:09:34 pm]f18hornet59:I luv yur picture

[4:09:37 pm]f18hornet59:yes

[4:09:46 pm]shaylasli:I LIKE YOURS TOO

[4:10:05 pm]f18hornet59:So tell what it is u like to do

[4:10:52 pm]shaylasli:FISHING KARAOKE GOING TO THE BEACH EXCEPT I HEARD PPL ARE GETTING SICK GOING TO THE GULF NOW

[4:11:18 pm]f18hornet59:Well i dont go to Galveston

[4:11:32 pm]shaylasli:THAT'S GOOD

[4:11:55 pm]f18hornet59:So tell me what is it u r looking for on here

[4:12:11 pm]shaylasli:THERE WAS THINGS ON YOUTUBE SAYING PPL ARE GETTING NUROLOGICLE DISORDERS

[4:12:20 pm]shaylasli:FRIEND MAYBE MORE IDK

[4:12:39 pm]f18hornet59:Do u have any kids

[4:12:54 pm]shaylasli:YES THREE BUT THEY ARE GROWN

[4:13:26 pm]f18hornet59:Ok! i have 2 16 & 12

[4:13:53 pm]shaylasli:THAT'S GOOD AGES THEY KNOW THE RULES DONT ALWAYS LISTEN THO

[4:14:07 pm]f18hornet59:how long u been divorced

[4:14:15 pm]shaylasli:8 YEARS

[4:14:23 pm]f18hornet59:me 1 1/2

[4:14:26 pm]shaylasli:ARE YOU DIVORCED???

[4:14:32 pm]f18hornet59:yes

[4:14:41 pm]shaylasli:THAT'S NOT VERY LONG

[4:15:01 pm]f18hornet59:thats ok cuz i lived as roomates for 8 yrs

[4:15:16 pm]shaylasli:HAHA I KNOW HOW THAT IS

[4:15:42 pm]f18hornet59:so i have not been intamate with aowman in that length of time

[4:15:59 pm]shaylasli:OUCH! OUCHOUCHOUCH

[4:16:15 pm]shaylasli:R U PICKY?

[4:16:34 pm]f18hornet59:sorta

[4:17:00 pm]f18hornet59:but i did not feel it was important to go out i spent time with my kids

[4:17:21 pm]shaylasli:ME TOO I DON'T WANT TO GET IN THE SITUATIN I USED TO BE IN I GUESS THAT'S CALLED BAGAGE :(

[4:17:57 pm]shaylasli:THAT'S GOOD YOU SPENT TIME WITH THE KIDS YOU NEVER GET THAT BACK PPL WHO DONT SPEND TIME W/THEIR KIDS REGRET IT!!!!

[4:18:46 pm]f18hornet59:Im looking for someone who might like to start off as friends with benifits and then see where it goes from there

[4:19:07 pm]shaylasli:YOU WANT BENEFITS RITE AWAY? IDK...

[4:19:48 pm]f18hornet59:Meet and see how things r then go from there. See if there is any chemistry

[4:20:01 pm]shaylasli:YEAH THAT SOUNDS GOOD

[4:20:34 pm]shaylasli:WE CAN SET SOMETHING UP. RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO GO THE PHONE IS RINGING TAK LATER?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division
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