This is Spinal Tap quotes in my virgin ears!!

[The Wizard Joseph]

"You can't really dust for vomit"

[The Wizard Joseph]

"You don't talk so much just smile and look smart."

[The Wizard Joseph]

Tap into AMERICA!!!!

[The Wizard Joseph]

"Fucking Limeys!"

"Well, you know. They're not..they're not used to that world. Frank Sinatra. It's a different world that they're in."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth rate of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry"

"That's nitpicking isn't it?"

[The Wizard Joseph]

"The White album? What was that? There was nothing on that goddamn cover."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"They see us on stage with tight trousers. We've got, you know, armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening. The size. And they run screaming."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"This is a top to, uh, what we use on stage, but it's very, very special because if you can see the numbers all go to eleven! Look! Right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven."

"Most amps go up to ten."

"Exactly."

"Does that mean it's louder, I mean is it any louder?"

"Well it's one louder isn't it? It's not ten. You see most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up. You're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?"

"I don't know."

"Nowhere, exactly!  What we do is if we need that extra push over the cliff you know what we do? 11. exactly. One louder."

"Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?"

"These go to eleven!"

[The Wizard Joseph]

"What's the difference between golf and miniature golf? The walls."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"Certainly in the topsy-turvey world of heavy rock having a good, solid piece of wood in your hand is quite often useful."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, It's just not really widely reported."

[The Wizard Joseph]

"Given the history of Spinal Tap drummers, uh, in the past do you have any fears, um, for your life?"

"When I did join, you know, they did tell me.  They kind of took me aside and said well mate it's, you know, it's like this. And it did kind of freak me out a bit but it can't ALWAYS happen to every can it?"

"The law of averages..."

"the law of averages.."

"..says you will survive"

"..Yeh"

[The Wizard Joseph]

"I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, It's sort of in between though. Really it's like a Mach piece really."

"What do you call this?"

"This piece is called Lick My Love Pump"

[The Wizard Joseph]

"I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed..by a dwarf! Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object."

"I think you're just making much too big a thing out of it."

"Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea."