TGRR's Relationship Advice Thread.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?

Become a hermit.

That's pretty much what I'm already doing. 

Not understanding why liking someone makes you feel like a creepy stalker.

Unless I'm totally reading that wrong, it sounds like you need to talk to an actual therapist first.

[President Television]

Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?

Become a hermit.

That's pretty much what I'm already doing. 

Not understanding why liking someone makes you feel like a creepy stalker.

Unless I'm totally reading that wrong, it sounds like you need to talk to an actual therapist first.

No, you're not reading it wrong. I probably do have to talk to one. I've been putting it off for years. I guess it's always the most obvious things that I procrastinate over.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?

Become a hermit.

That's pretty much what I'm already doing. 

Not understanding why liking someone makes you feel like a creepy stalker.

Unless I'm totally reading that wrong, it sounds like you need to talk to an actual therapist first.

No, you're not reading it wrong. I probably do have to talk to one. I've been putting it off for years. I guess it's always the most obvious things that I procrastinate over.

I'd do it.  The ironclad law of being a "creepy stalker" is this:

If the person you are interested in is of an appopriate age and also single, it is only "creepy stalking" if you pester or follow that person around after the person has turned you down on a date.

If you feel that you are a creepy stalker merely because you have developed an interest in someone, then yes, counselling is in order, and I am not qualified to give you any advice other than to seek it out.  It's effective, and it usually doesn't cost too much.

[LMNO]

If I may interject, I've had this happen to me.  I think it was a combination of excessive liberal PC training and self-worth/doubt issues.

You see, as a white male opressor, I'm naturally one suggestive look away from TOTAL RAPE EXPLOSION.  And the Male Gaze™ is a form of domination and privilege.  Any sensual/sexual thoughts or feelings one has to an unfamiliar woman is immediately suspect, and is borderline assault.  

Not to mention, why would someone smart, funny, and attractive ever want to be with a guy like me?  I'd just be bothering her with my pathetic pickup lines and pleas for attention.  If I show her I'm interested, she'll Just Want To Be Friends, and any further desire on my part would be considered creepy stalking.






...I got better.  I swear.  Kind of.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

If I may interject, I've had this happen to me.  I think it was a combination of excessive liberal PC training and self-worth/doubt issues.

You see, as a white male opressor, I'm naturally one suggestive look away from TOTAL RAPE EXPLOSION.  And the Male Gaze™ is a form of domination and privilege.  Any sensual/sexual thoughts or feelings one has to an unfamiliar woman is immediately suspect, and is borderline assault.  

Not to mention, why would someone smart, funny, and attractive ever want to be with a guy like me?  I'd just be bothering her with my pathetic pickup lines and pleas for attention.  If I show her I'm interested, she'll Just Want To Be Friends, and any further desire on my part would be considered creepy stalking.






...I got better.  I swear.  Kind of.

Looks like you did.  You got the hawt wife and the good life.

[President Television]

If I may interject, I've had this happen to me.  I think it was a combination of excessive liberal PC training and self-worth/doubt issues.

You see, as a white male opressor, I'm naturally one suggestive look away from TOTAL RAPE EXPLOSION.  And the Male Gaze™ is a form of domination and privilege.  Any sensual/sexual thoughts or feelings one has to an unfamiliar woman is immediately suspect, and is borderline assault.  

Not to mention, why would someone smart, funny, and attractive ever want to be with a guy like me?  I'd just be bothering her with my pathetic pickup lines and pleas for attention.  If I show her I'm interested, she'll Just Want To Be Friends, and any further desire on my part would be considered creepy stalking.






...I got better.  I swear.  Kind of.

This is the correct motorcycle. Only in my case it's less a matter of political correctness and more a matter of self-hatred.
But I really should shut up about it. I don't want to spag up this thread with my drama.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dear Reverend:

Thank you for the advice, the date went quite well. Well, it went well for him and I'm apparently a better actress than I ever realized because he's asked for a second date.

What does one do when there is no initial physical spark?  Do you try to make one?  Do you think there needs to be an initial physical attraction on meeting?  Some little twinkle in the tummy kind of thing?

I don't want to waste this guys time or mine but well, he just doesn't push my buttons, as nice as he is.

Also, how to keep these men from messing with my hair?  What the fuck is up with that? 

Thank you!!!

1.  If it went well, give it a second shot, if you're comfortable around him.

2.  Once he puts his finger in your ear, you'll know he's serious.