Hey look, I'm not the only one....

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OK so. After a date with a guy I met on OKC, he googled me and sent me this series of emails. He references a couple of texts in which I first rescheduled a second date, and then canceled it due to some texts I'd received from him that were pretty over-the-top.

How's your day going- so far? ..heck- for that matter, how was the rest of your 4th'eve?

mine was rather chill and uneventful- with the exception, of course, of the constant rattatat'tat of the surrounding neighborhoods. ..t'was rather nice, actually.  just mom, dad, Hans(their dog) and me.   bbq,corn on the cobb, beers.. good times

This may be a little crazy- but.. ..Well, -- And, of course I would have preferred following through with out plans but, I appreciate how our need to cancel has, first of all (through my sinking reaction), further supported my notion of totally digging you- for, it wouldn't have mattered if you didn't. Then it reminded me that attachment to particular outcomes is reckless behavior.  Holding true to a thought of an outcome is fine, I think, as long as the thought-holder surrenders to the will of circumstance and accepts the fact that the Time an outcome occurs is out of their hands, And, that it may never occur at all.   As Yoda recommended, I remembered to "Let go."   Not of the thoughts of positively harmonious outcomes with you- just of the idea of when we will harmonize, again.

As I've been writing this, the thought that this cancellation may have been "running away" has been trying to work its way into my beliefs. ..and though this is possible, naturally, I hope this isn't the case. If that were the case it would be a torturous shame for the both of us- in addition to all those our collaboration would have touched throughout the future of humankind. (damb- that's deep (lol)) -  trying not to be a drama queen- but, I do seem to be on the edge of babble.

I am a moron.   And, I suspect that you have other, superman-like, options.. of course.   But, I know nothing.   And that's about all I really know. And, that I'm a moron, as I mentioned.  ..and a bit about photography, I guess.. ..and how to be true myself, and those who wish to be near me.. ..and how to follow through, whole-heartedly, with an objective of my desire.. ..and how to ride the edge of babble as I write.. – alright, maybe I do know a few things.

I know you're wonderful

I know I'd love to know more- everything I may- about you.

I know I'd love for you to desire the same from me.

I suspect I'm saying too much, too soon, perhaps. Most likely.

I know I'd better stop now.



I hope this, my open lunacy, hasn't compromised your wish to follow through with the request for a beer later in the week.



Shut up C****.

Me:

I don't remember giving you my email address...

it's on your facebook page.  should I not use it?

speaking of things on facebook.. your website was there, so I checked it out, of course- and your Beads are amAzing!!!   I love your creations!   Awesome work!

Me:

It is really not OK to contact women you don't know very well using avenues you haven't asked for and they haven't offered... it's stalkery. It's a bit like finding out where they live and then showing up with flowers after the first date. Not romantic, but scary.

Listen, I enjoyed the first date but your subsequent texts indicate that you are clingy and way more invested in someone you barely know than I am at all comfortable with, and on top of that your email last night was pretty much batshit crazy, so no, thanks. I am in full-on red flag land and would like you to forget all my contact info. Thank you.

huh.. .    ..ok.. ..well,   as you wish.

begging your pardon [Nigel].

you won't hear from me again.

batshit-crazy C****.

be well

Not as insane as the 1600-word missive, but just one of a couple of this summer's more WTF moments.

[Cainad (dec.)]

GUYS

AND I MEAN GIRLS, MOSTLY

We need to set up a website kind of like FML or Texts From Last Night, except it's for anonymously posting creepyweird messages from obsessive asshats!


this is a great idea that can in no way backfire




Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight. Just recently a dude who still earnestly believes he's getting into her pants some day sent her a pic (completely unsolicited, obviously) of him rubbing his Inflatable Joystick with a pic of her in the background as his fapfodder.  That's at the far end of the spectrum of Fucked Up for her, but still.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight.

Fun Fact:  There are 3,500,000,000 of these men in the world!

[Luna]

I gotta get a better class of stalker.  Mine just went all crazy jealous and possessive, when we hadn't even gone out on a date.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

GUYS

AND I MEAN GIRLS, MOSTLY

We need to set up a website kind of like FML or Texts From Last Night, except it's for anonymously posting creepyweird messages from obsessive asshats!


this is a great idea that can in no way backfire




Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight. Just recently a dude who still earnestly believes he's getting into her pants some day sent her a pic (completely unsolicited, obviously) of him rubbing his Inflatable Joystick with a pic of her in the background as his fapfodder.  That's at the far end of the spectrum of Fucked Up for her, but still.

BEST WEBSITE IDEA EVER. SERIOUSLY. THIS CANNOT GO WRONG.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight.

Fun Fact:  There are 3,500,000,000 of these men in the world!

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight.

Fun Fact:  There are 3,500,000,000 of these men in the world!

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

Because there are just over 7 Bn people in the world, and just a shade under half of them are male. 

[Pæs]

GUYS

AND I MEAN GIRLS, MOSTLY

We need to set up a website kind of like FML or Texts From Last Night, except it's for anonymously posting creepyweird messages from obsessive asshats!


this is a great idea that can in no way backfire

BEST WEBSITE IDEA EVER. SERIOUSLY. THIS CANNOT GO WRONG.

OKAY. WE NEED A CLEVER NAME AND TWO OPTIONS FOR VOTING ALONG THE LINES OF:

"YEAH, WHAT A CREEPER"
"YOU'RE A SPINNER, THAT'S ROMANTIC."

ETA: THERE IS ONE OF THESE: http://www.internetdatingtales.com/

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight.

Fun Fact:  There are 3,500,000,000 of these men in the world!

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

Because there are just over 7 Bn people in the world, and just a shade under half of them are male. 

My god.

This reminds me of something that E.O.T. said once when I told him that I was PMSing and horny and felt crazy. He said "Now you know how men feel all the time".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

GUYS

AND I MEAN GIRLS, MOSTLY

We need to set up a website kind of like FML or Texts From Last Night, except it's for anonymously posting creepyweird messages from obsessive asshats!


this is a great idea that can in no way backfire

BEST WEBSITE IDEA EVER. SERIOUSLY. THIS CANNOT GO WRONG.

OKAY. WE NEED A CLEVER NAME AND TWO OPTIONS FOR VOTING ALONG THE LINES OF:

"YEAH, WHAT A CREEPER"
"YOU'RE A SPINNER, THAT'S ROMANTIC."

ETA: THERE IS ONE OF THESE: http://www.internetdatingtales.com/

OH SWEET I'M SO THERE.

[Freeky]

The letter from the link reads like a business proposal.

Nigel, you get all the best crazy.  It's because you're so hot, probably.

AND THAT IS THE BEST IDEA FOR A WEBSITE EVER.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, Nigel: my best friend is also part of your club. She is stupidly attractive, especially to men who don't have their frontal lobes screwed on straight.

Fun Fact:  There are 3,500,000,000 of these men in the world!

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

Because there are just over 7 Bn people in the world, and just a shade under half of them are male. 

My god.

This reminds me of something that E.O.T. said once when I told him that I was PMSing and horny and felt crazy. He said "Now you know how men feel all the time".

Sure, only we're dumb, too.

Seriously.  ALL MALES ARE BADLY WIRED MONKEYS.  So, yeah, when you women say "I want to meet a NORMAL guy", we men kind of smile behind our hands and restrain ourselves from telling you the bad news.

Take my case, for example.  I'm a great big bag of unhinged weirdness, which I keep in check via NOT using alcohol or drugs, and concentrating really, really hard.  Mostly because the cops in this town CANNOT take a joke.  Also because it stops being cute and funny after a while, to some people (but not MY people, who are up for any program).

And I'm the harmless kind (at least when it comes to women).  For every me, there's an eighth of a Chris Brown, and for every Chris Brown, there's a quarter of a Richard Speck.  Which kind of puts the earfinger guy in perspective.

[Freeky]

You sure do know how to inspire hope that there is someone worth looking for out there, Roger.

[Luna]

The first two stories I click on on that website BOTH end with variations on, "and then I had to change my phone number."  

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You sure do know how to inspire hope that there is someone worth looking for out there, Roger.

Then there's Richter, right?  He's got BZZZZZZZZZZZ all around him, but he's a really nice guy.

But there's only one of him for ten of me, and the math isn't really in your favor.  So, as your spiritual advisor, I suggest you get some eye candy, dope him up with qualludes or roofies until all he can do is breathe and breed, and keep him out back by the garbage cans.  I mean, I don't think it's unreasonable for a gal to have her fun, but not have to handle the awful bullshit that comes along with it.  We men do something like this when we master the art of "having a conversation without actually listening", which is a lifesaver until you get busted out, at which point it's best to look your SO straight in the eye and then beg piteously for mercy.