I Have No Ass and I Must POOP! A "Shut Up™" Sermon by TGRR

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 12, 2011, 04:10:38 PM

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Luna

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2011, 07:20:14 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 12, 2011, 07:17:09 PM
Chapter 80:

In a place where information is suppressed
and curiosity stifled,
the people will be uncaring, unwise, and not free.
They will rely on tradition as their guides;
They will not make observations,
or try new things,
or experiment,
or play.
They will be suspicious of outsiders
just as they are with new ideas.
Their minds will be as stagnant
as the pond where they dump their garbage.
They are surely as dead as they can be,
though they still draw breath.


Yeah, that.

How come every time I get full of rant juice, the damn Chao Ting thingie says it better?  :crankey:

Better?  I dunno.  Different, yes.  Well, yes.  Better?  Depends on the listener.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Cramulus on December 12, 2011, 07:29:14 PM
line breaks

concentrate attention

& suggest

profundity

:p

My grocery list didn't look profound.  :?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

LMNO

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 12, 2011, 11:00:57 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 12, 2011, 07:29:14 PM
line breaks

concentrate attention

& suggest

profundity

:p

My grocery list didn't look profound.  :?


It doesn't?

Huh.  Must be doin' it wrong.


hooplala

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 13, 2011, 12:33:23 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 12, 2011, 11:00:57 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 12, 2011, 07:29:14 PM
line breaks

concentrate attention

& suggest

profundity

:p

My grocery list didn't look profound.  :?


It doesn't?

Huh.  Must be doin' it wrong.



This image should be the front cover of 'Cooking with LMNO'.   And like that "Julie & Julia" chick, your next book should obviously be about exploring your kinks.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

LMNO

Shit.  Sorry for the threadjack.

QuoteAll of the above have one thing in common:  They steal your Slack™, and then give your formulaic, false-slack pap in exchange.  They typically do this by offering you what primates need:  An alpha, usually a surrogate one.  The character "Jack Bauer" comes to mind, as does the president, the pope, Rush Limbaugh, or anyone else who will take from the masses the burden of thinking for themselves.  Typically, this is sold with John Wayne stapled all over it, the only example required to demonstrate this is the recent & laughable "Rick Perry is Strong" ad.  Same with the fictional Jack Bauer...He's hard as nails, and has no time for hippie shit like due process & the rule of law.  Don't you wish we had a Jack Bauer to cut the crap and do horrible shit to really bad people?

It's easier to choose between two things or choose between all things; it's even easier when one of the two things to be chosen is demonstrated to be BadWrong.  A firm handshake, a confident voice, and demonstrating a basic knowledge of the subject matter at hand is usually all you need to set up the false dichotomy.  If you're the one making the speech, you control the set-up.  You can frame the debate any way you want to.  You get to define the terms.  You also get to shout how the other guys are DOING IT WRONG.  They will have to respond to your bullshit, and use your bullshit terms.  And in using your bullshit terms, their own arguments are now yours to control.

That's why it is written:

Chapter 57
Authority rules through miscommunication.
Wars are waged by pandering to fears.
The world can be won by joining opposites:
Tell people what they want to hear, and they will follow.
Make them think like apes, and they will act like monkeys.
Relieve them of their responsibilities, they will call you wise.
Show them what they fear, they will call you just.

Therefore, the wise spags say,
"Pay no attention to the speeches of Authority,
but listen instead to what the audience is hearing.
And if at all possible,
try to be the one making the speech."

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 13, 2011, 12:33:23 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 12, 2011, 11:00:57 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 12, 2011, 07:29:14 PM
line breaks

concentrate attention

& suggest

profundity

:p

My grocery list didn't look profound.  :?


It doesn't?

Huh.  Must be doin' it wrong.



I'm going to start doing mine like that and dropping them in the aisles when the cart's full. Thank you.  :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I like going to peoples houses and adding special things to their grocery lists, which are often kept on the refrigerator.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Disco Pickle

The thread title gave me nostalgia for a book I really, really must have back in my library.

Your OP is also great, and has given me a lot to think about, so thanks twice.
"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

trix

 :mittens: to the OP!  Good stuff, there.

Quote from: Nigel on December 12, 2011, 06:49:54 PM
This is fucking amazing. Black Velvet Auschwitz.

And the thing is, yes. It's all out in the open, just sitting there to be seen if only anybody would look, and there are just a few people out of every thousand pointing and screaming but nobody else will just turn around and LOOK.

So, we have to come up with other ways to get their attention.


True enough, but I think the problem is more complex.  To me it seems like out of every 1000 people, 1005 of them are pulling your arm, pointing, and screaming in your face.  The real problem is that they are all pointing in different directions.  Which is bad enough by itself, but add to it that most of the places they are pointing to, the SPIDER-APPROVED places, are so much shinier and gussied up than the places that they should be looking.
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

Juana

Mhm. Spiders like people to point at grand story book evils and at the less fortunate, and really, any place that isn't them.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

The board has a conspicuous absence of Roger today.  :sad: Where is he?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Freeky

Quote from: Nigel on December 24, 2011, 12:09:03 AM
The board has a conspicuous absence of Roger today.  :sad: Where is he?

He had today off, so we've been gaming since 11.  Then he went up to play Civilization 5. 

Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Science me, babby on December 24, 2011, 12:30:36 AM
Quote from: Nigel on December 24, 2011, 12:09:03 AM
The board has a conspicuous absence of Roger today.  :sad: Where is he?

He had today off, so we've been gaming since 11.  Then he went up to play Civilization 5. 

:lulz: Explains everything.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Nigel on December 24, 2011, 02:03:38 AM
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 24, 2011, 12:30:36 AM
Quote from: Nigel on December 24, 2011, 12:09:03 AM
The board has a conspicuous absence of Roger today.  :sad: Where is he?

He had today off, so we've been gaming since 11.  Then he went up to play Civilization 5. 

:lulz: Explains everything.

This was followed by naughty shit and some pondering.  I have, it seems, discovered the root cause behind the universe itself, and who is to fucking blame.

Rant follows sometime today.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.