Open Bar 3.17 - now more glitchy than ever!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There is a chicken on my back porch, aggressively assaulting my door.

In other news, E.O.T. has been sick with that devastating eight-week crud that's going around, and last night Space Ninja told me that Space Cowboy told her in almost the same words the exact same thing that I feel about him, which is that he feels like I am his lost clone sister and we are practically the same person, and then I felt like and a little less alone in the world.

[Luna]

Dear Suu:

Try dating someone who doesn't understand your hobbies.

I know that sounds weird, but it's a vast improvement, trust me.

Never again.

I dated outside the SCA.  "Disaster" doesn't even cover it.

When your hobby involves taking off camping with the guys for half the weekends in summer, if he doesn't play, too, it's... bad.

[Suu]

Dear Suu:

Try dating someone who doesn't understand your hobbies.

I know that sounds weird, but it's a vast improvement, trust me.

Never again.

I dated outside the SCA.  "Disaster" doesn't even cover it.

When your hobby involves taking off camping with the guys for half the weekends in summer, if he doesn't play, too, it's... bad.

Just like Master Padraig says, "Don't date outside of the faith."

The only guy I've been with in the past TEN FUCKING YEARS that wasn't SCA was Dartmouth Fett, and all he did was rip me about it and call me a nerd.

...But my bedroom isn't full of Legos so...

I mean, shit, Herbert and I were together for 7 years, and we're still totally cool with seeing each other at events, but he's "not allowed" to go anymore anyway because his girl wants nothing of it...so, there you have it.

I'm not saying it can't work, because it can, and I do know of multiple couples in which one plays and one doesn't, and it works out great, but the majority of the time, it doesn't.


Speaking of which, Matty called last night.

I'll be in Baton Rouge from the 18-22 of January. We're getting the tickets after Christmas.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dear Suu:

Try dating someone who doesn't understand your hobbies.

I know that sounds weird, but it's a vast improvement, trust me.

Never again.

I dated outside the SCA.  "Disaster" doesn't even cover it.

When your hobby involves taking off camping with the guys for half the weekends in summer, if he doesn't play, too, it's... bad.

Well, as long as that's working out so brilliantly for the two of you, you know.

Suu, Dartmouth Fett was an insecure immature loser with low self-esteem who felt the need to put down a woman in order to feel better about himself. Has nothing to do with his hobbies.

[Suu]

Suu, Dartmouth Fett was an insecure immature loser with low self-esteem who felt the need to put down a woman in order to feel better about himself. Has nothing to do with his hobbies.

Well, yeah. Why else would he be doing a reality show about geek speed dating while he's seeing someone not even old enough to drink?

Last time I saw him, I blew him off entirely. As I was sitting in the hotel lobby on my laptop, he walked in front of me, and was talking to friends. He actually sent me a text about how I was looking at his ass. I didn't justify him with a response, and stayed glued to my computer.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Suu, Dartmouth Fett was an insecure immature loser with low self-esteem who felt the need to put down a woman in order to feel better about himself. Has nothing to do with his hobbies.

Well, yeah. Why else would he be doing a reality show about geek speed dating while he's seeing someone not even old enough to drink?

Last time I saw him, I blew him off entirely. As I was sitting in the hotel lobby on my laptop, he walked in front of me, and was talking to friends. He actually sent me a text about how I was looking at his ass. I didn't justify him with a response, and stayed glued to my computer.

Proper response:  "How could I miss it, tubby?"

(There are two things you never say to a man.  The second one is anything to do with his weight.  Guys are even worse about that than women are, believe it or not.)

[Luna]

 

Dear Suu:

Try dating someone who doesn't understand your hobbies.

I know that sounds weird, but it's a vast improvement, trust me.

Never again.

I dated outside the SCA.  "Disaster" doesn't even cover it.

When your hobby involves taking off camping with the guys for half the weekends in summer, if he doesn't play, too, it's... bad.

Well, as long as that's working out so brilliantly for the two of you, you know.

Suu, Dartmouth Fett was an insecure immature loser with low self-esteem who felt the need to put down a woman in order to feel better about himself. Has nothing to do with his hobbies.

Very simple, Nigel...  I want someone who will be part of my life.  The SCA is a big part of my life.  It chews up a lot of my time, between events, meetings, and fight practices.  I'm not going to give it up... And I'm not going to deal with things like, "why do you DO that?" when I come home with bruises from practice.  Worse, the, "you should give up, you're no good."  (Bruises from practice don't mean you're incompetent, it means that either your opponent has no control, or you're good enough to rush them.)

Am I likely to find someone outside the SCA who'd understand?  No.  It's possible... but if he's as opposed to at least playing, too, on some level (like DF was), it's doomed.

[Suu]

Giving him no attention affects him more than even negative attention.

That, and he said some shit the night before that really pissed me the hell off, and I wanted to make sure that the point was made that I wanted to be left the fuck alone. D-Cup and some other people were actually banking on me hitting him. I refrained, but it wasn't easy.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Understanding and accepting your hobbies =/= sharing your hobbies


I realize this is rich coming from a 21 year-old twerp, but it's not something to be overlooked. Many of my weekends are given over to LARP; my current GF does not LARP and probably won't ever, but she's cool with the fact that I do it. A while back, I almost got together with someone who does LARP with me. Looking back, I'm sort of glad we didn't carry through and continued being good friends, because if things had gone sour one of us would have had to quit their hobby.

[LMNO]

Dear Suu:

Try dating someone who doesn't understand your hobbies.

I know that sounds weird, but it's a vast improvement, trust me.

Never again.

I dated outside the SCA.  "Disaster" doesn't even cover it.

When your hobby involves taking off camping with the guys for half the weekends in summer, if he doesn't play, too, it's... bad.

Well, as long as that's working out so brilliantly for the two of you, you know.

Suu, Dartmouth Fett was an insecure immature loser with low self-esteem who felt the need to put down a woman in order to feel better about himself. Has nothing to do with his hobbies.

Very simple, Nigel...  I want someone who will be part of my life.  The SCA is a big part of my life.  It chews up a lot of my time, between events, meetings, and fight practices.  I'm not going to give it up... And I'm not going to deal with things like, "why do you DO that?" when I come home with bruises from practice.  Worse, the, "you should give up, you're no good."  (Bruises from practice don't mean you're incompetent, it means that either your opponent has no control, or you're good enough to rush them.)

Am I likely to find someone outside the SCA who'd understand?  No.  It's possible... but if he's as opposed to at least playing, too, on some level (like DF was), it's doomed.

How about, "I'm off to band practice for three or four hours, and this weekend I'll be in the studio mixing tracks from about noon until midnight. Have fun storming the castle!"

I mean, if you both have things to do and don't mind being away from each other, then... I see no problems.


Except, of course, you'd be dating a musician.

[Suu]

Except, of course, you'd be dating a musician.

I already tried that, but you're also 352,000x cooler than General Stuart (who is still stalking the shit out of me on this board, from what I hear.)

Understanding and accepting your hobbies =/= sharing your hobbies

I never said it can't happen, but it's also not easy to find someone who DOES.

Also: I never made Herbert, GS, or Oarstroker quit the SCA. GS took off on his own accord to focus on his music instead, Herbert got put on a short leash, and Oarstroker just went on with his life with the guys in New Hampshire, and has been told he is to respect my position above his in the Order of Precedence and never raise an eye to me again. That's all. I have no place to tell anyone to beat it, and I'd be damned if I'm quitting.

Sure, it fucking hurts, but why should I give up something I love and have been involved with for the entirety of my adult life at this point because of a relationship gone sour? Boyfriends come and go. It's what dating is all about. Yeah, I just got my fucking heart ripped out last month, but I'm better now, not over it, but better. If anything, I realized I was spending way too much time focusing on him than I was school and myself. Next semester, I'm getting engaged to my degree, and in the Fall, I'm marrying my thesis. That's my point of view right now.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Cainad and LMNO are riding the correct motorcycle.

(especially the part about dating a musician, I mean....  )

But seriously, while there's nothing at all wrong with wanting someone who is completely glued to your life and hobbies, there's also nothing at all wrong with partnering with someone who has his own, different, life and hobbies, and it's completely possible to find people who are understanding and supportive of hobbies that they don't share. My best friend is neither a glassworker nor an internet troll, yet we love and support each other. I'm neither a carpenter nor a musician, and he's both.

Maybe I'm just coming from a very different perspective because I have never dated anyone who shared my major hobbies, but it seems perfectly natural and livable to me. I would probably lose my mind if I had a partner who was all up in my shit all the time.

Not to mention, christ, the drama. I could never date a glassworker, it's too small of a community.

[Suu]

This is why I'm kinda glad to go see Matty. He's not in the SCA or 501st. He's totally cool with me doing it, but he's more into obscure sports terms.

Could I have a long distance relationship like that? Probably not, shit, I'm not banking on anything happening down there other than sitting down and yelling at the football playoffs, honestly, since we haven't done that in over 10 years. Maybe that's all I need is that reminder that men like that can actually like me.

[Freeky]

Woke up in panic this morning and yesterday morning, I think it was from finals nerves.  Shit, they aren't even challenging tests!  How is it going to be when I don't know the material inside and out?

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

Dear PD, complaints about a situation I have no control over! Feeling sorry for myself and patting myself on the back for doing so well anyway! Blatant ego stroking and posing for the sake of peer group support! That is all.

Cain,

Cliched platitude that I know won't make you feel better about your situation, but I'm saying it anyway because it makes me feel better.  Meaningless congratulations on doing so well anyway, and a statement that you deserve whatever good things come your way.

PMZ