HAPPY HOLIDAYS! A thread dedicated to wtf chrstmas?

[Freeky]

Today, I saw six cop cars sitting outside the back alley of this townhouse complex, and another one heading in as I left the neighborhood (which is the one right next to my parents', and generally considered a pretty good one, for being in the Hive.)

Today, my grandmother confided to me that she thought my cousin was "weird," her tone implying that this is a serious badwrong condition, because he gave his younger brother a pair of pants that really could fit them both and my next youngest cousin in all at once.  I even said "There's nothing wrong with being weird."  Her response was "Yes there is!" and when I confessed to being weird, she said if I said that again she'd spank me.  

(I know it's a bit early, but it felt like Christmas to me because family stuff happens on Christmas Eve for my fam.  Immediate fam stuff happens on Chirstmas.  I will probably have more to say tomorrow.)

Now you share your wtf chrsmas?  events. 

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Mom: [Net's little brother], if you don't do the dishes you aren't allowed to smoke pot with us.

LB: Fine. I'll go make the kitchen even messier.

Me: Thanks Mom, now LB is going to shit in the sink.

Mom: It wouldn't be the first time.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.

[rong]

i wish i had a remote control jesus.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Nana: did everyone get their income taxes done?

Me: uh... The year isnt over yet.

Nana: i know.

[EK WAFFLR]

Watching Borat AND Bruno with family and their friends counts, I think.

[Suu]

I went to the beach and helped build snowmen...I mean, sandmen?

Remarkably, even living in Florida most of my life, I think this was the first time I ever went to the beach on Christmas. 

However, getting to Clearwater Beach requires passing through downtown, and on the way home, my sister and I drove on Ft. Harrison. I think we both picked up 3 or 4 extra Thetans.

[Suu]

And I just saw a commercial for the Catholic Diocese. I guess they have to do it in order to compete with the Scientology commercials. 

[Freeky]

I went to a Lutheran service this morning to see my friend sing in the Portland Norwegian Chorus, and the pastor delivered theeeee most rambling sermon I've ever heard, half in Swedish and half in English, which somehow concluded that Jesus is like a present wrapped at Fred Meyer, and if you don't unwrap him you'll never get to use the Jesus inside the box.

That sounds  

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Waffle- its possibly understandable. Keep in mind that we are a nation of immigrants who often maintain our cultural identities. Im not sure what the portland scandinavian population looks like but i know a lot of midwesterners are some sort of teutonic or nordic.

Twid,
lives in avery irish and or italian city. Been to a catholic mass on st patricks that was said entirely in irish. Mocked it in church at the time.

[Phox]

Really nothign too weird happened to me....

Except that when I was having dinner at my sister's my sister's brother-in-law's girlfriend's four-year-old son, who I had never met until two hours prior and with who I had had very little interaction with started screaming at me that I couldn't leave when I started putting on my coat. 

Phox,
Evidently irresistible to small children....

[Freeky]

Really nothign too weird happened to me....

Except that when I was having dinner at my sister's my sister's brother-in-law's girlfriend's four-year-old son, who I had never met until two hours prior and with who I had had very little interaction with started screaming at me that I couldn't leave when I started putting on my coat. 

Phox,
Evidently irresistible to small children....

That's a four-year-old thing.  Apparently  he did in fact like you. 

[Phox]

Really nothign too weird happened to me....

Except that when I was having dinner at my sister's my sister's brother-in-law's girlfriend's four-year-old son, who I had never met until two hours prior and with who I had had very little interaction with started screaming at me that I couldn't leave when I started putting on my coat. 

Phox,
Evidently irresistible to small children....

That's a four-year-old thing.  Apparently  he did in fact like you. 

Oh, I get that it's a four-year-old thing. It's still weird, though. 

[Pæs]

My Christmas was beautiful, despite my expecting otherwise.

But Christchurch started shaking violently again, which is somewhat "WTF CHRISTMAS?"

[Suu]

Waffle- its possibly understandable. Keep in mind that we are a nation of immigrants who often maintain our cultural identities. Im not sure what the portland scandinavian population looks like but i know a lot of midwesterners are some sort of teutonic or nordic.

Twid,
lives in avery irish and or italian city. Been to a catholic mass on st patricks that was said entirely in irish. Mocked it in church at the time.

Catholic mass should be said in Latin, you fucking heathen.