Dear PD.com

[Roaring Biscuit!]

Some of my little friends say that Santa Claus isn't real.

My papa says "If you see it on PD.com, it is so."

Please, tell me the truth, is there a Santa Clause?

xx

[Suu]

He is. He came over last night for rum and pie.

[Phox]

Some of my little friends say that Santa Claus isn't real.

My papa says "If you see it on PD.com, it is so."

Please, tell me the truth, is there a Santa Clause?

xx

Yes. The proof of this is that I got absolutely nothing from him, and in fact, the only gift I got was a pair of earrings from my mother.

[Don Coyote]

There is a Santa Claus, and the tubby dude still owes me the deposit for the reindeer rental from 1890.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

What coyotes not telling you is that he was the reindeer in question. Proof in wompertainment.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

What coyotes not telling you is that he was the reindeer in question. Proof in wompertainment.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

Oh my poor darling,

Of course there is a Santa Claus!  He's one of the Big People, who's names everyone knows, who you can read about in newspapers and watch on TV.  How can so many people who believe in Santa be wrong?   That would just be silly wouldn't it?  Oh Santa is so very real, he's more real than the people on the street.  You can't read about them in newspapers can you?  Not unless they do something together.  He's even realer than you.  He's one of the Big People remember?  The people that matter.  You don't matter my little darling.  You can never change anything!  You're a little fairy always pushing at that bright boundary that separates you from the Real World.  That's a world you can never touch my dear, most days you won't even see it.   

Still, the Real World abides, it ticks away and keeps our little lives rolling on, always there to keep you focused on what is important.  Showing you your place.  You're not a Big Person my dear, and you never will be.  I can tell you though, what a wonderful place the Real World is, oh, those great machines they have!  All cogs whirring and steam billowing!  So fantastic!  Great metal ships ploughing through the Void!  They spew forth the sky and the Stars and they drag our lovely dreamworld behind them, and all the Big People, like Santa and the President, are there at the helms, deciding our course!  Plotting the Void itself!  Pioneers!  Oh how brave they are...

But you wouldn't want to go there.  No, you couldn't!  All that metal and fire and smoke!  Tear you fair skin to ribbons my darling!  Those great pistons!  Crush your body like a bug!  You're no use to anyone as a liquid my dear.  It's not safe for you to go, you're too frail.  Too precious.  You stay right here with me.

Mother Loves You.  Remember?

[Murmur]

Mom? Why do you look like a cookie? WHY??!   

[Roaring Biscuit!]

Mommy...

My little friends say that Hide and Seek isn't a real Christmas present.

Why haven't you found me yet?