Nigel's Shiny New Life Thread

[Murmur]

yeah :PCC then ? there R many of those Mt Hood for 1 Sylvania's another
Rock Creek, the list is to long : At Cascade they built a new gym where
My old house once stood so i do suggest Killingsworth @ Kerby.

I used to live up the road from PCC Rock Creek.

Nigel, I think that's awesome! I myself am going to see a counselor tomorrow to find out what classes I need to register for. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I need to go see an advisor and keep forgetting... if you don't go first thing in the morning it's like a 2-hour wait.

[Suu]

It's so important to stay on top of that. Glad to know that financial aid came through for you too. Be sure to get your FAFSA in as SOON as you finish your 2011 tax return, too. That's the best way to get a full amount of aid.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

UM, WOW

I just found out that My Big Regret is getting a divorce.

This is the friend I have been in love with for almost 20 years and have always been too chicken to tell. When he was 19 and I was 22, he was complaining about not liking girls his age and I said "You should date an older woman"


and two days later he was dating my best friend.

NO, BASEHEAD, I MEANT ME.

Life goes on, I got married, they broke up, eventually he married someone else. When I was 29 I was divorced with two kids and he broke up with his then-girlfriend, and I was too chicken to just be like "Hey Basehead, you know, I've had this thing for you for years, want to see if it could work?"

Proceed with eleven more years of near-misses and him moving back to Baltimore and getting married.

One of my friends, who knows about my secret feelings for him, has this theory that all the guys I have been through are just me fruitlessly seeking him in someone else, and that's why they never work out. She might be right. So, even though he lives on the other side of the country and is pretty established there and might not have any similar feelings, I am going to tell him. I am not going to be that foolish girl who never tells that one guy about her feelings and nobody knows that he feels the same way until after he dies and his grandson sees his diary and tells the old lady and everybody cries.

[Freeky]

Good luck Nigel.

[Juana]

^ ^ ^ That. Hope it works out for you.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks! Even if it doesn't, at least I'll know.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I admire your ability to figure this shit out, decide on a course of action, and do it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Knock on wood. Every time before, I've chickened out. Once I was totally determined to tell him and I was sitting next to him on his bed working up my nerve and he started telling me about this girl he had just met.



I should have told him anyway, of course. That was 11, maybe 12 years ago. But it's not too late until I'm dead, right? And now I have a chance; I shouldn't let it go by.

[hirley0]

2012 01/10 Tue 00?00/
Li0 The January 2 issue of the ASIAN REPORTER (page 16)
Li1 suggests the Year of the Dragon begins Monday 1/23
Li2
Li3 ALSO: Cascade CampUS / PCC :  Jan 15, 5PM
Li4 Moriaty Arts & HuManiTies Building 750N Ki (St,
Li5 Wisdom "Arts" Academy (celebration)(503) 762-1122
BeWarY of 11's & two two's too

[BadBeast]

Knock on wood. Every time before, I've chickened out. Once I was totally determined to tell him and I was sitting next to him on his bed working up my nerve and he started telling me about this girl he had just met.



I should have told him anyway, of course. That was 11, maybe 12 years ago. But it's not too late until I'm dead, right? And now I have a chance; I shouldn't let it go by.

Tell him by all means. But don't expect him to respond by dropping everything and declaring a mutual unrequited love for you. I think your friend with the theory probably means well, but is talking out of her arse when she says that you've been on a fruitless search to find him in someone else, for all these years.
But you obviously need to tell him how you feel, so tell him.

I really hope that he does have similar feelings for you, and after a whirlwind courtship, he declares his undying love and you both live a blissfully happy and long life together. But you have to be prepared for this not to happen.

   The main point is to tell him, because not telling him, is what has built this 'star crossed lovers' scenario up in the first place. I suspect if it was going to happen, it already would have done, despite any minor obstacles like both your's and his marriages / relationships / commitments, and timing issues. But at the very least, you should come away with a more realistic expectation of your relationship with him.

And it will give him something to think about too. Bitter-sweet memories of what could have been aren't really so bad. and it's hardly going to spoil the friendship you both already have, not after all this time.

Also, seeing as he's getting a divorce, it could set you up as his rebound relationship, and although this might be fun for a while, you know rebound relationships rarely end up going anywhere. But tell him. If he really does feel the same, then he should be prepared to think about all the implications, and risks as well. Maybe give the dust a little time to settle. I don't know.
But you really are going to have to tell him now. Just do it calmly, and without any expectations. Then whatever happens is  a bonus. 

At least, it's a bonus compared to not telling him, and perhaps having another 20 years of wondering what would have happened. That's the kind of shit that drives people right round the bend, and into Miss Havisham's attic. 

[navkat]

UM, WOW

I just found out that My Big Regret is getting a divorce.

This is the friend I have been in love with for almost 20 years and have always been too chicken to tell. When he was 19 and I was 22, he was complaining about not liking girls his age and I said "You should date an older woman"


and two days later he was dating my best friend.

NO, BASEHEAD, I MEANT ME.

Life goes on, I got married, they broke up, eventually he married someone else. When I was 29 I was divorced with two kids and he broke up with his then-girlfriend, and I was too chicken to just be like "Hey Basehead, you know, I've had this thing for you for years, want to see if it could work?"

Proceed with eleven more years of near-misses and him moving back to Baltimore and getting married.

One of my friends, who knows about my secret feelings for him, has this theory that all the guys I have been through are just me fruitlessly seeking him in someone else, and that's why they never work out. She might be right. So, even though he lives on the other side of the country and is pretty established there and might not have any similar feelings, I am going to tell him. I am not going to be that foolish girl who never tells that one guy about her feelings and nobody knows that he feels the same way until after he dies and his grandson sees his diary and tells the old lady and everybody cries.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stay. Away. From boys.

Shiny new life! Get degree! Catchin' breaks like they be Pokemon n shit!

Your boy, if he's getting a divorce, is a breeding ground of fuckups and mindraep. It's not his fault. It's not yours either. Lying in bed, worshipping each other and blowng off Chem Lab feels sooooooooo gooooood...ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL YOU'VE BOTH BEEN THROUGH.

And then there's the risk of The Month of A Thousand Tears. You know that shit I'm talkin about? When your eyeballs feel like pregnant maggots crawled up inside and laid eggs and the last fucking thing you want to do right now is write a novella about the golgi apparatus?

If you love this boy and you two are psychologically betrothed, insist he get therapy. Wait a semester for you to find your success rhythm first. Get some therapy yourself. Take some advice from the wise old man, Stephen Spielberg: don't try to build an upscale subdivision on an indian burial ground,  Don't ressurrect Velociraptors unless you have a remote trigger that drops an H-bomb on the island and a backup power grid and whatever you do: DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS.

I say this with the same love in my heart that caused you to recommend the Year of No. However, whatever you choose to do, you will hear no nagging or jugement from me, just open ears and a free shoulder. I am a total fuckup when it comes to men.

[BadBeast]

UM, WOW

I just found out that My Big Regret is getting a divorce.

This is the friend I have been in love with for almost 20 years and have always been too chicken to tell. When he was 19 and I was 22, he was complaining about not liking girls his age and I said "You should date an older woman"


and two days later he was dating my best friend.

NO, BASEHEAD, I MEANT ME.

Life goes on, I got married, they broke up, eventually he married someone else. When I was 29 I was divorced with two kids and he broke up with his then-girlfriend, and I was too chicken to just be like "Hey Basehead, you know, I've had this thing for you for years, want to see if it could work?"

Proceed with eleven more years of near-misses and him moving back to Baltimore and getting married.

One of my friends, who knows about my secret feelings for him, has this theory that all the guys I have been through are just me fruitlessly seeking him in someone else, and that's why they never work out. She might be right. So, even though he lives on the other side of the country and is pretty established there and might not have any similar feelings, I am going to tell him. I am not going to be that foolish girl who never tells that one guy about her feelings and nobody knows that he feels the same way until after he dies and his grandson sees his diary and tells the old lady and everybody cries.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stay. Away. From boys.

Shiny new life! Get degree! Catchin' breaks like they be Pokemon n shit!

Your boy, if he's getting a divorce, is a breeding ground of fuckups and mindraep. It's not his fault. It's not yours either. Lying in bed, worshipping each other and blowng off Chem Lab feels sooooooooo gooooood...ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL YOU'VE BOTH BEEN THROUGH.

And then there's the risk of The Month of A Thousand Tears. You know that shit I'm talkin about? When your eyeballs feel like pregnant maggots crawled up inside and laid eggs and the last fucking thing you want to do right now is write a novella about the golgi apparatus?

If you love this boy and you two are psychologically betrothed, insist he get therapy. Wait a semester for you to find your success rhythm first. Get some therapy yourself. Take some advice from the wise old man, Stephen Spielberg: don't try to build an upscale subdivision on an indian burial ground,  Don't ressurrect Velociraptors unless you have a remote trigger that drops an H-bomb on the island and a backup power grid and whatever you do: DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS.

I say this with the same love in my heart that caused you to recommend the Year of No. However, whatever you choose to do, you will hear no nagging or jugement from me, just open ears and a free shoulder. I am a total fuckup when it comes to men.

Yes, ^^this^^! Words of wisdom, good sense, and optimism about the future, not pipe dreams from the past. Fuck the year of the Dragon, 2012 can be "The Year of the Nigel",

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dudes, settle down, I'm going to give it six months at least.  And I was planning on saying something along the lines of "Hey, this is kinda weird for me to say but I've always been a little in love with you".

I mean, what's the worst case scenario? OH I KNOW

If I never say anything at all and find out years later that he always had feelings for me.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In other news, the textbooks for "Social Problems" read like the subject matter 90% of the threads on here that I participate in, and the text for "Critical Thinking" reads like the other 10%. I like taking classes that mirror my hobbies!