I Am A Hatearian: The Brag of the Fed Up Primate.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I do not need food or water.  I live by filtering nutrition out of my HATE, which is endless, an infinite supply of sustinence.  This is why I can SHIT PURE HATE.  I don't get acid reflux, I have loathing eruptions, a spray of liquid detestation that emerges from my mouth in a cone of corrosive death.  I don't get constipated, I just occasionally garner hate faster than I can spray it from my various and loathesome orifices. 

Sometimes I start to twitch and jerk around at my desk.  It is like St Vitus' Dance, but caused by my intense desire to see the entire world smashed into a donut by an asteroid or maybe just nuked into a glowing cinder.  I consider plague pandemic era etchings to be the finest art made by mankind. 

It's not because people are intrinsically BAD, mind you, but because the MORE people there are, the DUMBER they get, and the DUMBER they get, the MORE they BREED.  There's too many of you; I can't smite you all.  7 BILLION AND COUNTING.  For God's sake, use a fucking rubber why doncha, you damn dirty apes!

My pouch is full, and my screams are beginning to leak out.  Screams of hate, screams of rage, screams of frustration with a planet full of monkeys that CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. 

Jesus may love you.  I'm not Jesus.

So just shut up.

Or Kill Me.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This is fucking delightful and filled me with GLEE!

And the more I know about why most people remain on all fours, and how resources are controlled by the Masters to keep them there, the more full of HATERAGE I become.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is fucking delightful and filled me with GLEE!

And the more I know about why most people remain on all fours, and how resources are controlled by the Masters to keep them there, the more full of HATERAGE I become.

Yep.  I also have a rather large store of disdain built up.

[Richter]

Moooorrreeee....

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Where's the "told ya so" emote?

[DiscoRadio]

I saw the exact opposite of this rant at a vegan restaurant. They had these screens on all the walls with some program that looked like a cross between televangelism and Bollywood.
Most of it was subtitled or spoken in heavy Engrish.
The main guru-lady seemed to be saying that vegans can live by photosynthesis with a little chocolate here and there so their taste buds don't get bored.
Other implied vegan superpowers: Third eye laser blast, care-bear rainbow belly, and inter-specific telepathy

Just in case your hate-bladder was getting low

[Cainad (dec.)]

I saw the exact opposite of this rant at a vegan restaurant. They had these screens on all the walls with some program that looked like a cross between televangelism and Bollywood.
Most of it was subtitled or spoken in heavy Engrish.
The main guru-lady seemed to be saying that vegans can live by photosynthesis with a little chocolate here and there so their taste buds don't get bored.
Other implied vegan superpowers: Third eye laser blast, care-bear rainbow belly, and inter-specific telepathy

Just in case your hate-bladder was getting low

You are a bad, bad man.

I assume you also like to wheel kegs into Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and drop off pound cakes at Weight Watchers?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I saw the exact opposite of this rant at a vegan restaurant. They had these screens on all the walls with some program that looked like a cross between televangelism and Bollywood.
Most of it was subtitled or spoken in heavy Engrish.
The main guru-lady seemed to be saying that vegans can live by photosynthesis with a little chocolate here and there so their taste buds don't get bored.
Other implied vegan superpowers: Third eye laser blast, care-bear rainbow belly, and inter-specific telepathy

Just in case your hate-bladder was getting low

You are a bad, bad man.

I assume you also like to wheel kegs into Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and drop off pound cakes at Weight Watchers?

I can quit any time I want.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I saw the exact opposite of this rant at a vegan restaurant. They had these screens on all the walls with some program that looked like a cross between televangelism and Bollywood.
Most of it was subtitled or spoken in heavy Engrish.
The main guru-lady seemed to be saying that vegans can live by photosynthesis with a little chocolate here and there so their taste buds don't get bored.
Other implied vegan superpowers: Third eye laser blast, care-bear rainbow belly, and inter-specific telepathy

Just in case your hate-bladder was getting low

You are a bad, bad man.

I assume you also like to wheel kegs into Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and drop off pound cakes at Weight Watchers?

I can quit any time I want.

Sure, sure, you said that last week.

But does that undo the damage that was done the last time you went on an "enthusiastic afternoon stroll" through the park, "coincidentally" at the same time the wiccans were doing their thing?

Wiccans are replaced free of charge, all the time. But landscaping work costs money, Roger. Who's gonna pick up that tab?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I saw the exact opposite of this rant at a vegan restaurant. They had these screens on all the walls with some program that looked like a cross between televangelism and Bollywood.
Most of it was subtitled or spoken in heavy Engrish.
The main guru-lady seemed to be saying that vegans can live by photosynthesis with a little chocolate here and there so their taste buds don't get bored.
Other implied vegan superpowers: Third eye laser blast, care-bear rainbow belly, and inter-specific telepathy

Just in case your hate-bladder was getting low

You are a bad, bad man.

I assume you also like to wheel kegs into Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and drop off pound cakes at Weight Watchers?

I can quit any time I want.

Sure, sure, you said that last week.

But does that undo the damage that was done the last time you went on an "enthusiastic afternoon stroll" through the park, "coincidentally" at the same time the wiccans were doing their thing?

Wiccans are replaced free of charge, all the time. But landscaping work costs money, Roger. Who's gonna pick up that tab?

The City, of course.  Roads and shit are free, didn't you know?  MY TAX DOLLARS only go to supporting lazy people with socialist entitlement programs.

[DiscoRadio]

I saw the exact opposite of this rant at a vegan restaurant. They had these screens on all the walls with some program that looked like a cross between televangelism and Bollywood.
Most of it was subtitled or spoken in heavy Engrish.
The main guru-lady seemed to be saying that vegans can live by photosynthesis with a little chocolate here and there so their taste buds don't get bored.
Other implied vegan superpowers: Third eye laser blast, care-bear rainbow belly, and inter-specific telepathy

Just in case your hate-bladder was getting low

You are a bad, bad man.

I assume you also like to wheel kegs into Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and drop off pound cakes at Weight Watchers?

You should see what I do at churches