9 Ridiculous Cooking Myths You Probably Believe (Cracked)

[East Coast Hustle]

Oh, and Thomas Keller is a technically excellent chef but he's a mediocre writer at best (even by the low literary standards of professional cooks), and like many extremely successful restaurateurs his duties have served to essentially divorce him from the day-to-day realities of working the line.

Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that; it's what many of us aspire to. But it makes him a curiously poor choice for a figure to use in the context that you have. I'm guessing he's the only big name chef you know of who isn't on the Food Network and that's why you threw his name out there.

[East Coast Hustle]

Tell me, are you one of those people who thinks that Ferran Adria's stuff counts as real food?

[DECI4]

And anyone who thinks that sous vide is an acceptable method of cooking meat should probably never tell me that in person. It's the 2nd quickest way to get me to start a fistfight for no good reason.

Then you are both ignorant and a fool. Do some reading and some eating and you can cure the former.

I'm sorry, which restaurants have YOU been the head chef at? Chez HotPocket, of course, doesn't count.

Oh, and any grillardin worth his tongs would know to remove the steak from the grill/pan/oven/broiler an entire degree of doneness before the target temp in order to account for the continued internal cooking that happens while the meat rests. Which, of course, happens whether you cover the meat or not.

But please do keep arguing with me about a subject that I have basically (and quite successfully) devoted my entire adult life to in a professional capacity.

Please. No professional cook would cover resting meat with foil. If you can't see how that would affect carry over cooking than you are a moron. Looks like you spent your entire adult life not being a very technical or proficient cook. Let me guess, middle aged steak house chef?

I never said they would. I merely pointed out that the continued internal temperature rise will occur regardless of that.

Of course, almost every professional cook in the world will put his finished dish under a heat lamp with a reflective metal hood. But that's different, right?

Once you graduate from the minor leagues you might have a different perspective on what a "professional" cook is. I assure you I haven't cooked in a restaurant that uses heat lamps in years. We do a little thing called putting up the entire table at the same time and the servers deliver it immediately.

Also I'm not interested in your resume or "qualifications". I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be impressed.

[Don Coyote]

Tell me, are you one of those people who thinks that Ferran Adria's stuff counts as real food?

Foamed meat?

[DECI4]

Oh, and Thomas Keller is a technically excellent chef but he's a mediocre writer at best (even by the low literary standards of professional cooks), and like many extremely successful restaurateurs his duties have served to essentially divorce him from the day-to-day realities of working the line.

Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that; it's what many of us aspire to. But it makes him a curiously poor choice for a figure to use in the context that you have. I'm guessing he's the only big name chef you know of who isn't on the Food Network and that's why you threw his name out there.

What does the quality of his prose have to do with anything? His books are technical manuals. I threw him out there because he is an expert on Sous Vide cooking. What in the world are you talking about? Continue to guess and I'll continue to make you look foolish.

[Phox]

Continue to guess and I'll continue to make you look foolish.

Don't you have to start to continue?

[DECI4]

Tell me, are you one of those people who thinks that Ferran Adria's stuff counts as real food?

I'll answer that question if you can tell me how it isn't.

[DECI4]

Continue to guess and I'll continue to make you look foolish.

Don't you have to start to continue?

I'd love to hear your opinions on what we are discussing. Please. Contribute.

[Phox]

Continue to guess and I'll continue to make you look foolish.

Don't you have to start to continue?

I'd love to hear your opinions on what we are discussing. Please. Contribute.

You first. And I mean something other than condescending, trite remarks that have no substance.

[East Coast Hustle]

Being an expert on sous vide cooking is like being an expert on shitting your pants.

It's impressive, in a sense, but nobody really cares.

I can only assume that by "restaurants that don't use heat lamps" you mean "Pizza Hut". Based on the staggering intellect and masterful culinary knowledge you've displayed here so far, I wouldn't hire you to wipe the sneezeguard on the salad bar that the restaurant you sometimes bus tables at for a free meal undoubtedly has.

[East Coast Hustle]

In short, any REAL professional cook worth a damn will have long ago gotten over the idiot culinary pretentiousness that you appear to cling to so tightly. You remind me of me when I was 20.

[East Coast Hustle]

I've got $5 that says that if you ever actually have worked in a real restaurant it was one of those places that does externships.

When YOU graduate from the minor leagues, you might find that if you really love cooking for a living you can make a pretty goddamn good living at it on your own terms once you get over all the bullshit you're so obviously crammed full of.

[DECI4]

Being an expert on sous vide cooking is like being an expert on shitting your pants.

It's impressive, in a sense, but nobody really cares.

I can only assume that by "restaurants that don't use heat lamps" you mean "Pizza Hut". Based on the staggering intellect and masterful culinary knowledge you've displayed here so far, I wouldn't hire you to wipe the sneezeguard on the salad bar that the restaurant you sometimes bus tables at for a free meal undoubtedly has.

You seem pretty threatened by my culinary knowledge to be honest.

[DECI4]

In short, any REAL professional cook worth a damn will have long ago gotten over the idiot culinary pretentiousness that you appear to cling to so tightly. You remind me of me when I was 20.

Are you listening to yourself?

[East Coast Hustle]

Tell me, are you one of those people who thinks that Ferran Adria's stuff counts as real food?

I'll answer that question if you can tell me how it isn't.

Easy. How would your grandparents react if you plopped that stuff in front of them for Sunday dinner? (admittedly I run the risk that you come from a long genetic history of self-importance and snobbery at the expense of taste but it's a chance I'm willing to take).

Would they say something like "wow, I've had this a million times before and it's NEVER tasted THIS good!" or would they say something like "What the fuck is this shit and what am I supposed to do with it?"

Don't get me wrong, I think Ferran Adria is a genius and I wish I could have eaten at El Bulli (though I'd rather eat at Alinea anyway), but that's culinary parlor tricks. Fascinating and perhaps actually delicious at times, but not real food.