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The Golden Appleocalypse

Started by Cramulus, January 13, 2012, 05:52:49 PM

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Slurrealist

Guilt will kill all the people at dawn of the 22th of December, when they will realize, while suffering from a massive hangover, that life still goes on.
Massive suicide will follow.
"You're free, and freedom is beautiful. It will take time to restore chaos...but we will..."

hirley0


Nephew Twiddleton

Hirley- what is the significance of 6 kan? You keep writing it. What would that mean twiddish?
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

hirley0

#33
6 KAN {ripe corn 10:29AM PSt

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: hirley0 on January 20, 2012, 06:29:43 PM
everything defaults to MAIN

That's half the fucking problem with the world, Hirley.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hirley0

#35
11 MEN

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 20, 2012, 06:31:26 PM
Quote from: hirley0 on January 20, 2012, 06:29:43 PM
everything defaults to MAIN

That's half the fucking problem with the world, Hirley.

6 OC its fixed: the last reboot + 3 reloads of F.fox = ok

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


hirley0

#37
13CABAN :fnord: 0?O 1?W 2?¢ 3?E



Quote from: Nigel on February 17, 2012, 04:30:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 20, 2012, 06:31:26 PM
Quote from: hirley0 on January 20, 2012, 06:29:43 PMeverything defaults to MAIN
That's half the fucking problem with the world, Hirley.
:lu /// 11 MEN 6:43 PSt 6:42:41 BOARD

hirley0

#38

kingyak

When the shit really starts to hit the fan, each of the uber-AIs that have arisen will create their own agent. The first AI, who calls itself Thromulon-4, will acquire the soul of Robert Johnson from the Devil for an undisclosed sum.* Since, aside from the whole "died at 27" thing, Robert Johnson never actually sold his soul to The Devil (that was Tommy Johnson, but at some point the two souls switched places entirely due to ostension), which means he's been pretty pissed off for a while now. When Thromulon-4 places his soul into a vessel whose brain has been inundated with Stagger Lee stories and blacksploitation films, mother fuckers start getting killed.

In an attempt to end this unstoppable killing machine's rampage across the country, comic book author, shaman, and World's Oldest Boy Genius Grant Morrison attempts to summon Superman using a sigil constructed entirely out of human Stem stem cells. Superman takes form on earth (he looks a lot like a young Elvis) and a battle is joined that will last for 23 years and destroy most of the eastern United States, parts of Europe, and Guam.

Before the battle is joined, of course, the American religious right goes absolutely apeshit over Morrison's uses of stem cells and enlists the aid of the second sentient computer network (who calls itself Ziggy) to battle both the Abomination Against God and the Scary Black Man. Ziggy enlists the help of Rasputin, who, in accordance to the international guidelines for urban fiction, is secretly still alive. Rasputin uses his magical powers to resurrect the corpse of Ronald Reagan, then quickly returns to his usual routine of drinking heavily and watching the Game Show Network. Everyone Reagan kills rises again as a zombie**, and conservatives everywhere start shitting their pants to be first in line to be mauled by their undead hero.

In order to fight the Reagazombies, a consortium of Hollywood Liberals led by Joss Whedon begins training an army of young girls to become the perfect zombie killers. From there, shit starts to get weird.


*The Devil, who has been collecting souls for thousands of years without any idea why, will treat this as an omen that he was supposed to be selling these souls to other people the whole time and will establish a cable shopping channel and website where souls can be purchased round the clock. Each soul is packaged in a lovely collector's quality jar and includes a certificate of authenticity suitable for framing. Shipping and handling extra. Eventually people will discover that, when inhaled, souls are a powerful hallucinogen that allows the user to experience events from the life of the deceased. As more and more people become addicted, roving bands of "death junkies" will roam the streets look for people who look interesting so they can kill them and huff their essence.     

**Actually, anyone killed by the zombies descended from Reagan also rise as zombies. The GOP immediately starts citing this fact as supporting evidence that trickle down theory works.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."-HST

hirley0

#40
:fnord: Next post

TEAL TUE / 6 AKBAL {darkness
5 IK2:28:00 ? 27:47
Quote from: hirley0 on February 23, 2012, 08:12:01 AM
3 AHAU NEVER MIND  News in 1.5 Hr | tomorrow lime
2 CAUAC 99
1knife ? :fnord:

Quote from: hirley0 on February 20, 2012, 02:42:30 PM
13CABAN :fnord: 0?O 1?W 2?¢ 3?E
Quote from: Nigel on February 17, 2012, 04:30:04 AM

6:30 a.m. BBC World News ? 7:00 a.m. Newsline


:fnord: Prior post

Lenin McCarthy

I am convinced that this Twitter account is making prophecies about the coming Apocalypse:

We fly with the science of anti-social smart phone users. Goodbye, textbooks! Hello, open-source cancer through proteomics.

Footage of amazing sea creatures: color shifting cuttlefish, perfectly camouflaged octopus, and a concerned member of parliament in Kenya.



Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on March 15, 2012, 11:51:45 PM
I am convinced that this Twitter account is making prophecies about the coming Apocalypse:

We fly with the science of anti-social smart phone users. Goodbye, textbooks! Hello, open-source cancer through proteomics.

Footage of amazing sea creatures: color shifting cuttlefish, perfectly camouflaged octopus, and a concerned member of parliament in Kenya.

This is now  my favorite Twitter site of all. SO much better than Horse e_books.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


kingyak

I now know where the titles for all my games in the 2013 convention season are coming from.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."-HST

Triple Zero

Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on March 16, 2012, 02:39:58 AM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on March 15, 2012, 11:51:45 PM
I am convinced that this Twitter account is making prophecies about the coming Apocalypse:

We fly with the science of anti-social smart phone users. Goodbye, textbooks! Hello, open-source cancer through proteomics.

Footage of amazing sea creatures: color shifting cuttlefish, perfectly camouflaged octopus, and a concerned member of parliament in Kenya.

This is now  my favorite Twitter site of all. SO much better than Horse e_books.

This is absolutely amazing and we need to replace our newsfeed with this.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.