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A few facts about our new member, Queen Gogira

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 20, 2012, 06:11:22 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 20, 2012, 06:11:22 PM
Queen Gogira is the massive, colon destroying SHIT that you didn't know you
even needed to take.

Queen Gogira is the 17 inch spiked strap-on dildo that you didn't even know
you needed to be fucked with.

Queen Gogira is the delicious jug of drain cleaner that you didn't even know
you wanted to drink.

Queen Gogira is what put the shoop in the shoop-shoo-bop-bop.

Queen Gogira is 12 feet tall, and made out of orphan children.

Queen Gogira can destroy an Abrams tank with ONE PUNCH.

Queen Gogira was actually the Walrus.  Not that lying bastard Paul.

Queen Gogira will punt you right out of your boots, just for spitting in the road.

Queen Gogira strangled Glendale (this is NOT an obscure sports term).

Queen Gogira can take on an amorphous state, and ooze under your door.

Please feel free to add to the list of her crimes.


" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

#1
January 20, 2012, 06:17:02 PM
Queen Gogira invented the technology to punch people through the Internet, but won't share.

Thurnez Isa

#2
January 20, 2012, 06:18:29 PM
Queen Gogira is the one who scared away Harold Campings rapture.
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.
Dante

Freeky

#3
January 20, 2012, 06:19:06 PM
Queen Gogira advocates Mormons going door to door.  This is so she can hide in other people's houses and punch them in the throat when they show up.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
January 20, 2012, 06:19:49 PM
Queen Gogira once wore Ru Paul's withered carcass as a wrap.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

#5
January 20, 2012, 06:22:51 PM
Queen Gogira is the reason you get commercials for the very same cable or dish service you already paid for and are using to watch those commercials.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
January 20, 2012, 06:23:03 PM
Queen Gogira was responsible for them cancelling M.A.S.H., and the subsequent suicide-by-shampoo of Alan Alda.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
January 20, 2012, 06:25:27 PM
Queen Gogira plays handball with chinchillas.

Chinchillas don't bounce.  Much.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#8
January 20, 2012, 06:46:27 PM
Queen Gogira appears in CCTV footage from London on 2nd of September 1666, handing out matches to an army of trained squirrels

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
January 20, 2012, 06:47:13 PM
Queen Gogira pays for Maggie Thatcher's life support.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

AFK

#10
January 20, 2012, 06:47:31 PM
Queen Gogira is why you have to block off a whole day just to get your licensed renewed at the DMV. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
January 20, 2012, 06:59:59 PM
In 1975, CIA gangster police beat me bloody at the behest of Queen Gogira, dragged me in chains from Kennedy New York airport.   Since then I hide in forced jobless poverty isolated, alone in this...house.  The brazen deadly gangster police spray me with poison nerve gas from automobile exhausts and even lawn mowers.  Deadly assaults even in my yard, with knives; even bricks and stones; even deadly touch "tavid" or electric shock flashlights; even remote electronically controlled, around corners trajection of deadly touch tarrantula spiders, or even bloody murder accidents...to shut me up forever with a sneak undetectable extermination, even with trained parrotting puppet assasins in maximum security insanity prison...for writing these unforgivable TRUTHS.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
January 20, 2012, 07:05:49 PM
The secret work of all police, in order to maintain a Gogira closed society, the same world-wide mad deadly CIA gangster computer god that controls you, as a terrorized gangster Frankenstein earphone radio slave parroting nebbish---you are a terrorized member of the human race, world-wide, four billion eyesight television camera guinea-pig Gogira gangster computer god human race---your living, thinking, mad, deadly, world-wide CIA gangster Gogira-God secret overall plan: World-wide living death  frankenstein slavery, to explore and control the entire universe with the endless stairway to the stars (Namely, the man-made inside-out planets, full of upside down people.  And probably Mr Chop & Mr Scratch.).

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#13
January 20, 2012, 07:10:54 PM
On October 8, 1871, while visiting Chicago, Queen Gogira slipped into a small alley behind DeKoven Street, where she proceeded to have relations with a pair of rentboys, the description of which is too depraved for description, even here, in the presence of Doktors.  Feeling a bit chilled after the exercise, she started a fire by rubbing the dessicated remains of said rentboys together.  It is a matter of some debate if she knew what the various substances coating them would do, however the cobbled together cover story regarding the cow and the lantern seems to have proven effective.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
January 20, 2012, 07:53:03 PM Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 07:55:28 PM by Nigel
The Gogira hostage crisis was a diplomatic crisis between Queen Gogira and the United States where 52 Americans were held hostage for 444 days from November 4, 1979 to January 20, 1981, after a group of Gogira's goons and henchmen took over the American Embassy in Gogeria in support of the Gogira Agenda. President Carter called the hostages "victims of terrorism and anarchy," adding that the "United States will not yield to blackmail."

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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