So, I was down at the game store the other day...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

I suppose I could fill a 1" diameter piece with gravel...

I'd use sand. Or lead shot.

I'm kind of going for the deadblow effect, here.

Me too. Maybe we should set up testing groups to determine which would deliver the appropriate amount of "SHUT THE FUCK UP" with the least amount of effort.

I'm not going for "shut the fuck up".  I'm going for "CRAP!  NOW THAT I'VE STARTED HITTING THEM, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO STOP!"

[Cain]

Ah.  In that case, find out when he is next attend a furry convention or other function where he'll be in his fursuit, and get a diuretic into his food a few hours earlier.

Nothing like shitting your suit to make you unpopular, even in a group where unpopularity is a badge of honour normally.

[Don Coyote]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

I suppose I could fill a 1" diameter piece with gravel...

I'd use sand. Or lead shot.

I'm kind of going for the deadblow effect, here.

Me too. Maybe we should set up testing groups to determine which would deliver the appropriate amount of "SHUT THE FUCK UP" with the least amount of effort.

I'm not going for "shut the fuck up".  I'm going for "CRAP!  NOW THAT I'VE STARTED HITTING THEM, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO STOP!"

Maximal force with minimal effort so as to allow for longer beatings?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Ah.  In that case, find out when he is next attend a furry convention or other function where he'll be in his fursuit, and get a diuretic into his food a few hours earlier.

Nothing like shitting your suit to make you unpopular, even in a group where unpopularity is a badge of honour normally.

Only a few of these shitbags can afford the fur suit.  Maybe if I put cayenne pepper on his "paws"...

[Richter]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

Siloflex, it's black sprinkler system pipe.  More flex, and I've NEVER seen it shatter.  Of corse, why Tucson has sprinkler system parts would be beyond me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

Siloflex, it's black sprinkler system pipe.  More flex, and I've NEVER seen it shatter.  Of corse, why Tucson has sprinkler system parts would be beyond me.

Because the state burns down every year.   

[Faust]

...And as I was leaving, I overheard some fucking Furry (Why Hat allows them in is beyond me; they never have any money to spend) explaining to a friend of mine why unlimited search & seizure and indefinite detention are good ideas.  ("They won't use them on White people like us.")

This clown is basically representative of all the other fur-freaks I've had the misfortune to meet.  They fucking HATE Mexicans, Arabs, etc, and vote republican...Despite the fact that their heroes would shoot them FIRST if they got their way.  It reminds me of the "conservopagan" thing, where EVERY PAGAN ON THE INTERNET is the token conservative Pagan.

If I didn't already know that humans are dumbfucks, I'd be puzzled at this utter lack of self-preservation instincts.

But here's my problem:  How do you slap a Nazi furry without getting funk all over your hand?  Big, fat, disgusting 35 year old man-child funk on a fatbody wearing a fucking dog collar.  I want to slap the dogshit out of them, but I don't want to spend an hour dipping my hand in turpentine.  Also, the idea that they might actually enjoy it makes me nauseated. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Plead the second.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The right to bear arms? What if theyre not bear furries?

[Juana]

Edited to: Oranges + potato gun.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Bag of oranges to the face.

Sounds good.

Might not get my hand back, though.

[Juana]

I had a better thought just after that: oranges in a potato gun.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I had a better thought just after that: oranges in a potato gun.

Hang on, got it.  I'd forgotten the "face-ripper" gloves that Richter made for me.

[Richter]

The plates will provide a natural antibacterial effect, being brass.  Slapping any subsect of filthy fandom with them should be like whacking a fairy with cold iron.

[East Coast Hustle]

He wants to be treated like an animal, right?

So I'd say the answer to your problems can be summed up in two words: BEAR SPRAY.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The plates will provide a natural antibacterial effect, being brass.  Slapping any subsect of filthy fandom with them should be like whacking a fairy with cold iron.

Woot!