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I just don't understand any kind of absolute egalitarianism philosophy. Whether it's branded as anarcho-capitalism or straight anarchism or sockfucking libertarianism, it always misses the same point.

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So, About This Cain Guy

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 26, 2012, 04:59:52 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 26, 2012, 04:59:52 AM
I knew him back in the day, right?  Back when he was just "Scribe" and didn't have all these shady government connections.  Back when he was just this happy-go-lucky kid who had nothing more complicated on his mind than maybe rolling a few drunks out back of the pub.  He also didn't have the extra eye, back in those days.  Now it's just creepy and shit.  That's why his face is always covered in his pics, right?  Otherwise you'd see his 3rd eye, embedded right there in his 3rd nostril.

I warned him, I told him, "Stay away from those government agencies", I said, "And whatever you do, DON'T volunteer for any test projects run by the British government!"  But when was the last time anyone listened to older, wiser people? 

And then, a few years ago, there was The Incident.  Nobody really knows exactly what happened.  Hell, nobody but me knows ANYTHING about it.  Well, nobody that's still here to tell you, anyway.  They all had "accidents".  There was the police inspector, who died of unreasonably strong shampoo.  There was the undersecretary, who stood too close to his razor one morning.  A few mysterious heart attacks, and one gout-related fatality.

And I'VE been dodging shit ever since.  Hell, just last week, some asshole threw a ping pong table at me, off the overpass.  Freeky says it was an Act of Tucson, but I know better.  Tucson would have just made me go splat in a car accident.  Only the British would attempt table tennis homicide.  30 years ago, it would have worked.

So, anyway, The Incident.  It seems that the British government was out for a little payback for some shit that happened in the Suez a few decades back, and they had just finished the sole successful "treatment" on Cain.  Every other test subject went nuts and died, some in ways that are difficult to describe on a family forum.

So Cain gets sent over to Egypt, right?  And when he gets there, he <phrase redacted> on Gamal Abdel Nasser's grave with <redacted>, two hookers, and a giant pile of cocaine.  In broad fucking daylight.  Then, when the cops arrived, he <phrase redacted> and shoved the car off the embankment, and they all drowned in sewage.  An army helicopter, a "Gazelle", arrived on scene and promptly crashed.  It is believed by the locals that the piece of French equipment was actually frightened to death, but that is silly.  You can't frighten a machine.  What you CAN do is <phrase redacted> and then disgrace the pilot's body with <redacted> and some tuck tape, and leave him for his friends to find.

By this time, the Egyptian government was in an uproar.  As far as they knew, they were being attacked by multiple SAS units (this is, in hindsight, ridiculous, as they never caught anyone red-handed).  But by the time the tanks arrived, Cain was gone, and he took the hookers and blow with him.  He went missing for a month, and then showed up in Manchester, where he spent a few years happy-slapping local thugs, and impregnating women with the saliva in his coughs.  This infusion of genetic material is why a higher percentage of people in Manchester can walk upright, these days, though speech still seems to be beyond their grasp.

Now, this creature, this monster that claims to be Cain is here, advising us on politics.  To what end, I ask you?

Indeed, to what end?

Or Kill Me.


" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
January 26, 2012, 05:22:21 AM
NO, NO, BOSS CAIN!  I'LL NEVER CROSS YOU AGAIN, I SWE
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

#2
January 26, 2012, 05:23:28 AM
At first I was fearful. Then I realized how badly I want him to give elected officials advice.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
January 26, 2012, 05:24:57 AM
Quote from: Alty on January 26, 2012, 05:23:28 AM
At first I was fearful. Then I realized how badly I want him to give elected officials advice.

Yeah, me too.

But they wouldn't listen.  They would be pathologically incapable of it.  He'd be talking his usual sense, and they'd just stare at him like he was speaking in Hotentot.

Then they'd go back to fucking the dog.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
January 26, 2012, 05:29:03 AM
Oh WOW.

Roger's got a case of the holies.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
January 26, 2012, 05:31:07 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 05:29:03 AM
Oh WOW.

Roger's got a case of the holies.

It's my new avatar.  It speaks to me.  It tells me things.  HORRIBLE things.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#6
January 26, 2012, 06:13:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 05:31:07 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 05:29:03 AM
Oh WOW.

Roger's got a case of the holies.

It's my new avatar.  It speaks to me.  It tells me things.  HORRIBLE things.

I try to avoid looking directly at it, because it creeps me the fuck out. In a way very similar to how this creeps me the fuck out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T42svkFfHBw&feature=related
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
January 26, 2012, 06:15:30 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:13:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 05:31:07 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 05:29:03 AM
Oh WOW.

Roger's got a case of the holies.

It's my new avatar.  It speaks to me.  It tells me things.  HORRIBLE things.

I try to avoid looking directly at it, because it creeps me the fuck out. In a way very similar to how this creeps me the fuck out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T42svkFfHBw&feature=related

Oh, Goddammit.  The Japanese are all going to starve to death in their homes, when they stuff a Sailor Moon outfit on that thing and mass-market it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
January 26, 2012, 06:19:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 06:15:30 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:13:41 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 05:31:07 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 05:29:03 AM
Oh WOW.

Roger's got a case of the holies.

It's my new avatar.  It speaks to me.  It tells me things.  HORRIBLE things.

I try to avoid looking directly at it, because it creeps me the fuck out. In a way very similar to how this creeps me the fuck out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T42svkFfHBw&feature=related

Oh, Goddammit.  The Japanese are all going to starve to death in their homes, when they stuff a Sailor Moon outfit on that thing and mass-market it.

Somehow, I stopped paying attention for a minute, and while I wasn't looking they made real functioning robots and convincing ai. And then they combined the two, and made it sing karaoke.

I am simultaneously fascinated by and terrified of intelligent robots.

Honda is marketing regular, non-intelligent functioning robots this year. Those creepy little white ones.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
January 26, 2012, 06:21:08 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:19:40 AM

Somehow, I stopped paying attention for a minute, and while I wasn't looking they made real functioning robots and convincing ai. And then they combined the two, and made it sing karaoke.


Oh, that's it.  That's the ABSOLUTE LIMIT.

It's bad enough that PEOPLE sing karaoke.  Now the fucking TOASTER is gonna start in?

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#10
January 26, 2012, 06:25:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 06:21:08 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:19:40 AM

Somehow, I stopped paying attention for a minute, and while I wasn't looking they made real functioning robots and convincing ai. And then they combined the two, and made it sing karaoke.


Oh, that's it.  That's the ABSOLUTE LIMIT.

It's bad enough that PEOPLE sing karaoke.  Now the fucking TOASTER is gonna start in?

Oh, just wait until you see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_migLQ802Go&feature=relmfu
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Rumckle

#11
January 26, 2012, 07:25:17 AM
Wow, for once I'm glad some of the information is redacted, Cain's exploits are horrifying enough without knowing all the details.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Luna

#12
January 26, 2012, 11:06:48 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:25:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 06:21:08 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:19:40 AM

Somehow, I stopped paying attention for a minute, and while I wasn't looking they made real functioning robots and convincing ai. And then they combined the two, and made it sing karaoke.


Oh, that's it.  That's the ABSOLUTE LIMIT.

It's bad enough that PEOPLE sing karaoke.  Now the fucking TOASTER is gonna start in?

Oh, just wait until you see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_migLQ802Go&feature=relmfu

I find myself torn.  On one hand, that is kinds of creepy that make the pedos who used to cruise the comic book store for anime chicks look almost normal.

On the other hand, it plants the idea that men who can't actually cope with an actual relationship can just buy a girlbot to abuse, rather than inflicting themselves on humans.  I might approve of this.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
January 26, 2012, 03:42:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on January 26, 2012, 11:06:48 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:25:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 06:21:08 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 26, 2012, 06:19:40 AM

Somehow, I stopped paying attention for a minute, and while I wasn't looking they made real functioning robots and convincing ai. And then they combined the two, and made it sing karaoke.


Oh, that's it.  That's the ABSOLUTE LIMIT.

It's bad enough that PEOPLE sing karaoke.  Now the fucking TOASTER is gonna start in?

Oh, just wait until you see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_migLQ802Go&feature=relmfu

I find myself torn.  On one hand, that is kinds of creepy that make the pedos who used to cruise the comic book store for anime chicks look almost normal.

On the other hand, it plants the idea that men who can't actually cope with an actual relationship can just buy a girlbot to abuse, rather than inflicting themselves on humans.  I might approve of this.

Sooner or later, the bot won't be enough.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

#14
January 26, 2012, 03:44:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 05:24:57 AM
Quote from: Alty on January 26, 2012, 05:23:28 AM
At first I was fearful. Then I realized how badly I want him to give elected officials advice.

Yeah, me too.

But they wouldn't listen.  They would be pathologically incapable of it.  He'd be talking his usual sense, and they'd just stare at him like he was speaking in Hotentot.

Then they'd go back to fucking the dog.

Hell, even if there was one who was cunning enough to actually take his counsel into consideration, that politician would almost definitely be sniffed out in the vetting process for having too much good sense to be permitted near any position too prominent.

And then he'd be booted out of the dogfuckers club.
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