Author Topic: Olympic Training  (Read 1431 times)

BadBeast

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Olympic Training
« on: January 26, 2012, 11:19:07 pm »
This was an answer to &*@"%'s  libertarian apologist comment that The Gods are even more bound by their Deific lack of social skills than we are.
Well, I think it's  about time someone taught them some fucking manners. So I propose turning Mt Olympus into a Re-deification Centre. (I nearly suggested a "Re-hab", but those fuckers were never habilitated in the first place)

Which makes me think that the Titans should get the job of socialising them properly. Prometheus can teach them planning, and goal realisation. Epimetheus can teach them about consequences. And Atlas can teach them about the weight of responsibilty.

Athena can get her gender reassigned.

Apollo can get some therapy for his egocentricism.

Zeus and Hera can get a divorce.

Aphrodite can get an account at Freecams, maximise her demographic and fulfilling her psycho-social compulsion to be 'The prety one'.

Hermes can have a facebook account, as long as he stops being such a shit stirring gossipy little bitch.

Hestia can be given every weekend off, so she's not stuck up there 24/7 doing all the Housework for those other lazy bitches.

Hephaestus can get some Family therapy, with Zeus and Hera to resolve the issues he must have after getting thrown off the Mountain that time. (And get his Cousin Asclepius to do something with his gammy lag)

Ares can get some help with his people skills. War is not always the answer.

Eros can get a dose of good penicillin, stop hanging around with dolphins.and being such a fuck monkey.

And before any of these fuckwads are allowed back off the Hill, they have to pass a Parole board hearing. And satisfy the board that they hold no risk of buggering about again, and messing shit up.

They may be reassigned Deific duties again, but only on a Meritocratic basis. And at my discretion.

Helpful suggestions anyone?

And there should be more co-operation between the Board of Directors. Zeus, Hades, and Posiedon should have an Exchange program, where each one has to be able to do the other two's jobs, with efficiency, and understanding. Then they could put that sibling rivalry thing behind them, and put those trust issues to bed.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

minuspace

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2012, 11:37:24 pm »
Awesome.

I think Tyche needs another play-date with Fortuna, that she might rub-off on her a little... 

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2012, 11:43:04 pm »
Hmm....

Artemis should get into therapy to help resolve her sexual dysfunction, which no doubt stems from the ever-present threat of being diddled by her brother or carried off by a lecherous uncle.


Also- is this in response to my thread in OKM?
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BadBeast

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2012, 12:16:34 am »
Hmm....

Artemis should get into therapy to help resolve her sexual dysfunction, which no doubt stems from the ever-present threat of being diddled by her brother or carried off by a lecherous uncle.


Also- is this in response to my thread in OKM?
Yeah, but I didn't want to spag it up with my usual never ending tirade of bollocks.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2012, 12:30:41 am »
Hmm....

Artemis should get into therapy to help resolve her sexual dysfunction, which no doubt stems from the ever-present threat of being diddled by her brother or carried off by a lecherous uncle.


Also- is this in response to my thread in OKM?
Yeah, but I didn't want to spag it up with my usual never ending tirade of bollocks.

I didn't see it as bollocks.

Also, I'm not exactly sure how it's a libertarian apologetic. Not being a libertarian, I didn't mean it to sound that way.
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TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

BadBeast

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2012, 12:33:59 am »
Hmm....

Artemis should get into therapy to help resolve her sexual dysfunction, which no doubt stems from the ever-present threat of being diddled by her brother or carried off by a lecherous uncle.


Also- is this in response to my thread in OKM?
Yeah, but I didn't want to spag it up with my usual never ending tirade of bollocks.

I didn't see it as bollocks.

Also, I'm not exactly sure how it's a libertarian apologetic. Not being a libertarian, I didn't mean it to sound that way.
That was why I disguised your name, and moved the post to it's own thread. I was mortified when I was called a libertarian once. So mortified I never looked it up. and can't really qualify it's use.  If you like, I can change it for "Anarchist"?  :evil:
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2012, 12:43:21 am »
Hmm....

Artemis should get into therapy to help resolve her sexual dysfunction, which no doubt stems from the ever-present threat of being diddled by her brother or carried off by a lecherous uncle.


Also- is this in response to my thread in OKM?
Yeah, but I didn't want to spag it up with my usual never ending tirade of bollocks.

I didn't see it as bollocks.

Also, I'm not exactly sure how it's a libertarian apologetic. Not being a libertarian, I didn't mean it to sound that way.
That was why I disguised your name, and moved the post to it's own thread. I was mortified when I was called a libertarian once. So mortified I never looked it up. and can't really qualify it's use.  If you like, I can change it for "Anarchist"?  :evil:

Whatever you like- I'm not that either though.

The gods in that thread are not really supposed to represent anything other than mindless forces. It's not really a matter of them not having social skills, it's meant to be a thing with no free will, and was based on a dream I had of men in black suits speaking gibberish and smiling strangely and whose even slightest thought created or destroyed. Zeus was used to illustrate the point, not to literally represent Zeus.

Anyway, more on topic to this thread.

Poseidon can stop overcompensating for his dissatisfaction with his penis size in a normal way. Throw away the trident, get flashy car.
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BadBeast

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2012, 03:28:16 am »
Car? Nah, a big submarine is more his style. Full of seamen.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Nephew Twiddleton

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Re: Olympic Training
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2012, 03:30:23 am »
Car? Nah, a big submarine is more his style. Full of seamen.

:spittake:

I don't think I can top that.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS