Self-indulgent angry bitching by a lurker, feel free to disregard

[CorbeauEtRenard]

I debated putting this in the rant forum, but it doesn't really have enough of The Rage ^(TM) to qualify it for a place there, in my opinion.

It feels like the universe is conspiring to fill my life with frustrating shit as hard as it can so far this year.

I'm dead fucking broke and can't get a job in this town because nobody will even give me an interview because of one or more of the following:
A) They won't hire people who're currently unemployed and disregard my application
B) They consider 2 years of college as over-qualified and disregard my application
or C) They aren't concerned with applicants being over-qualified so I'm forced to compete with people who have degrees to get a job working the register or stocking shelves, and thus they disregard my application because there's more college graduates alone for them to look through

Can't finish college because I can't even afford the loans I already took out.

Had to move back in with parents due to the above.

Parents' cats are senile shitbags who constantly make messes that I have to try to avoid stepping in.

Parents and fiance's parents both assume I don't have a job because I'm just not trying hard enough.
Even though fiance's mother was the manager of an HR department and admitted that she wouldn't hire me. They'll happily invite me to the immediate-family-only Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, sure, but actually help me out somehow? They're not comfortable with that.

Asked fiance's mother what I'm doing wrong or what I could do to improve my chances. You know, since she's the head of HR for a company and all. Best she could suggest was "Just take whatever you can get."
When I patiently explained that I'd been doing that sort of thing continually for the last 8 years whether I had a job or not, the best further advice she could give was "Keep trying." Because, you know, if something's not working, keep it up.

Fiance is getting sued. One of those sleazebag trawling lawsuits that offer a settlement upfront that's marginally cheaper than actually fighting it. Plus we'd have to take a loan just to be able to afford a lawyer to try, so that's an unacceptable risk.
Consequently any financial plans the get debt paid off and/or move back out are completely off the table for the next few months.

Fiance's parents were already bitching before giving us a good faith pay-when-you-can loan to cover the settlement. Plus they're expecting him to be taking absolutely no less than 18 credit hours a term so he hardly has any time left over at all to earn any money as it is.

My gas budget for being able to see him at all is down to 2.5 trips remaining with no replenishment of any kind in the foreseeable future unless some of the above changes dramatically.

Parents and future in-laws are all being gradually more obnoxious in their attempts to make us want to move out, being happily completely oblivious to the fact that we want to move out several orders of magnitude more badly than they want us to move out.
But none of them will actually do anything that will *help* it happen. They're not even paying for the 18 credit-hours-per-term they're expecting fiance to attend. This, despite the fact that the financial aid department seems convinced that he's just going to school to abuse student loans for free money since he's taking an unusually large number of classes per term and is working on a second degree since it turns out the first one he got *does* have a lot of jobs for it in the region, but NOT ONE place will hire anyone with less than 5 years of prior real-world experience. But apparently trying to get a more widely useful degree is suspicious.

Oh, and one of my aunts recently cracked and went full teabag.




tl;dr version:

Urge to kill rising. Rage and TO THE WALL imminent.

[Bruno]

What can you do? Any skills?

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Got plenty of past work experience with computers and call centers.
If I'm trying I can remain polite under pretty much any conditions (though it does gradually take a toll stress-wise if I have to put up with too much shit with a straight face).

I'm also a talented writer who hasn't written enough to actually become *good* yet.
Likewise with graphic design. And 3D design. And visual art. And rpg design.
Used to be in a jazz big band band and I could probably get good at it again if I got my trombone back from my sister and had a place to practice all day and night.

I can do change in my head (literally unlike some of the people who're getting the jobs I can't even get an interview for).

I'm legitimately trying to improve myself during a lot of the excessive free time I have left after applying for jobs, but I'm not built for dealing with this level of continual stress and uncertainty and I end up wasting a lot of time on escapist entertainment too.

I'd happily take minimum wage for 10 hours a week starting at midnight and legitimately be thankful for the metaphorical single serving of gruel at this point.

But at this point I suspect people are throwing out my applications purely because I've been unemployed for a while and nobody seems to be able to give me any advice I haven't already done my best to implement.

I suspect I'll likely continue to be screwed until I can improve my other skills to upgrade to starving artist off of one of them.


Also, better mad than depressed. In a small, perverse way, I'm glad all the shit that's happened to me in the past two weeks were all clumped together instead of just slowly grinding me down one at a time.

[East Coast Hustle]

My advice?

Get some tomahawks. Bitches won't even know.

[East Coast Hustle]

On a serious note, though....if your work ethic is as good as it sounds like, go apply at a restaurant. IF you can impress them with your work ethic and ability to show up on time, every time, many places will be willing to teach you how to cook what they need you to cook. Hell, I'll even lie and give you a reference if you need it.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Unfortunately, when I was young and stupid I wasn't especially good with not calling in sick for flimsy reasons, so there was a past history of absenteeism at an early job.
And then at my most recent job I legitimately got really sick three times in a year because the place was a fucking germ-hole. (Seriously. I'd had entire years where I didn't even use my paid sick days once I got a real perspective.) The fact that they had a really shitty sick-leave policy (you didn't get any, you got "personal days" that absolutely could not be used consecutively and which you got a grand total of 3 of per year that couldn't be used between the beginning of October and the end of January) means that's also why I got fired.

So even though I'd absolutely love to have a job to show up to every day at this point, I wouldn't entirely believe me if I were on the other side of the table.
I just don't know how to fix that impression without having a job to show up for reliably or continuing to improve my artsy skills until I can legitimately call myself self-employed.

And I'm sure my work ethic suffers more than I realize when I'm stressed, so you know, grain of salt.


And please don't take that as passive-aggressive pity-partying. I'm just trying to be honest and not give a totally self-glorifying account of events like is my first instinct.

Thanks for the reference offer Though references don't seem to go very far here in my experience. As far as I know I've never had a perspective employer actually contact any of them, even at places that hired me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Unfortunately, when I was young and stupid I wasn't especially good with not calling in sick for flimsy reasons, so there was a past history of absenteeism at an early job.
And then at my most recent job I legitimately got really sick three times in a year because the place was a fucking germ-hole. (Seriously. I'd had entire years where I didn't even use my paid sick days once I got a real perspective.) The fact that they had a really shitty sick-leave policy (you didn't get any, you got "personal days" that absolutely could not be used consecutively and which you got a grand total of 3 of per year that couldn't be used between the beginning of October and the end of January) means that's also why I got fired.

So even though I'd absolutely love to have a job to show up to every day at this point, I wouldn't entirely believe me if I were on the other side of the table.
I just don't know how to fix that impression without having a job to show up for reliably or continuing to improve my artsy skills until I can legitimately call myself self-employed.

And I'm sure my work ethic suffers more than I realize when I'm stressed, so you know, grain of salt.


And please don't take that as passive-aggressive pity-partying. I'm just trying to be honest and not give a totally self-glorifying account of events like is my first instinct.

Thanks for the reference offer Though references don't seem to go very far here in my experience. As far as I know I've never had a perspective employer actually contact any of them, even at places that hired me.

I think I see your problem.

You need to lie more.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

I think I see your problem.

You need to lie more.

I admit, this assessment is 100% true.

Even Especially the part about classifying it as a problem, as much as I hate to think of lying more as a good thing.

Unfortunately I was all idealistic and honest and shit when I was first unemployed, back when people wouldn't automatically assume there was something wrong because I'd been unemployed for a long stretch.

Live and learn. I just wish the job market gave second or third chances.

Or that the Good Will type places that advertise that they offer opportunities to people who need to improve their resumes and get back on their feet weren't better than me at lying. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I think I see your problem.

You need to lie more.

I admit, this assessment is 100% true.

Even Especially the part about classifying it as a problem, as much as I hate to think of lying more as a good thing.

Unfortunately I was all idealistic and honest and shit when I was first unemployed, back when people wouldn't automatically assume there was something wrong because I'd been unemployed for a long stretch.

Live and learn. I just wish the job market gave second or third chances.

Or that the Good Will type places that advertise that they offer opportunities to people who need to improve their resumes and get back on their feet weren't better than me at lying. 

Your resume is not actually required to match up to reality in any way, whatsoever...And if you need references, why, I and damn near anyone here would be happy to be your former boss.  All you have to do is get your story straight with us first.  Some of us are fairly highly placed in industry, it might be worth mentioning.

PM me if you need a bogus reference (I'll respond tomorrow, going to bed now).

And remember:  It's not like the interviewer is being honest with YOU, right?  Fuck it, stuff sunshine up their arses til they hire you.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Actually my current list of references is probably the most effective bullshit in my whole resume.
Best part is it's all based in fact.

I've got the legitimate reference who knows that I'm smart and good at learning stuff and know my way around computers. AND is a professional software developer and network administrator.

Then I've got a catholic monsignor on there who isn't actually aware I stopped being a devoted and active Catholic and started being a practicing homogay years ago.

And then I've got a college department head and an elementary school teacher I did summer jobs with teaching chess to 6th graders back before I got a real full-time job. They basically only ever saw me at my best, since I was doing the "job" for fun instead of for the $60 stipend.


Note: I do actually have the sense to pile on inoffensive, subservient bullshit during interviews, it's how I got the last job I did have. I actually convinced them that I was happy to take the $2/hour pay cut because it meant I could get up at 8 am instead of having to sleep in until noon every day  . I just don't get to actually talk to the fuckers often enough.

[Luna]

Assuming you have done at least some of these, but, brainstorming:

Sign up with one or more temp agencies.  If you can type, run MS Office reasonably competently, and look professional, they may be able to find you something.  You are now no longer unemployed, if they do, and some gigs are people test driving employees for hiring.

Volunteer.  Whatever you can stomach.  Hospital, old folks' home, whatever, anyplace.  This can go on your resume as current experience, and you can bail when you get a paying job.

I have not had coffee, yet, will come back with more as ideas strike.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Thanks for the reminder, actually. I think my info at the temp place here expired. I should go re-submit once it's a weekday again. That is the place where I actually got an interview the last time so I should at least keep my name popping up when they do automated searches.

I have to say, having you guys/gals (who, to be honest, I kind of look up to a bit) offer to lie your asses off or take the time to give useful suggestions even though you don't know me at all has really improved my mood a lot.

You guys rock!

[rong]

bartending can be lucrative.  it is also a good place to network.  you won't get the high tipping shifts to start, but you'll get the opening and early afternoon shifts.  there's two types of people who will be at the bar during those times - serious drunks and people who might be able to get you a real job - it's pretty easy to tell the difference.  it's about the best job you can have for face to face networking in the local community.

plus, you get to hang out at the bar all day.

[Cain]

Remove that early job from your resume entirely.

Give fake references about doing volunteer work or study programs during periods of unemployment.  Private tuition is always a good one, especially with some college background, all you have to do is convince a family friend to go along with it.

[Cain]

Also, speaking from personal experience, getting out of long-term unemployment is 40% luck, 50% connections and 10% actual skills and experience.  If employers ask if they can keep your file on record for any future jobs: say yes.  I landed my pub kitchen gig that way, they hired someone else first, but after firing him for being useless a month or two later, I got the call.  How the guy before me managed to get fired, when a good 50% of the job was drinking tea and bitching with the chef about how unreasonable customers are I'll never know.

Nevertheless, once you do get a job, you will remain bitter at former would-be employers and people who refused to give help along the way, cultivating a deep sense of greivance and need for revenge.

There is probably a downside to this, though.