Why Young People Fill Me With HATE.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You know it's over, the first time you see a drop-dead hottie in his/her mid-20s...And instead of lust, you just feel an aesthetic sense of admiration for the person's looks, because you just aren't wired the same as you were.  Your sense of physical attraction is now geared toward other middle aged people.

And that's as it should be, but it's the first real inkling that you are no longer young.  This causes many middle-aged men to run screaming for the first blond 20-something they can find, and apparently also to buy ridiculous red Miatas.  It also explains club creepers, and other absurd expressions of manchildism.  And my hate.  But we'll get to that.

So you sit down and take stock of yourself.  You are no longer pretty.  Bits move around.  You have to CONSTANTLY struggle to avoid becoming obese.  Joints ache.  You don't dare get drunk, because the hangovers are so bad that the net experience is drastically negative.  The party isn't over, but the game has drastically changed, the same way it changed when you discovered that you were old enough to have ice cream anytime you wanted it, but that you didn't want it all the time, the way a child does.

And then you take stock of the society around you.  The people you used to be are wasting their precious youth playing videogames 24/7, instead of chasing the opposite sex and devouring immense quantities of intoxicants.  They don't drag race anymore.  They don't have any skills, or the urge to get them.  They sit on the fucking couch.  Here, we call them "Tucson Drones", and they are LEGION.

So you start to seethe.  Here are the people who SHOULD be having fun, having adventures, etc, and they're just marking time, patiently sitting and waiting to get old and die.  If it were fucking legal, I'd help them along a bit.  And you start hating the useless little bastards, and looking for ways to PUNISH them for wasting the opportunity for the kind of fun that you CAN'T have, and that they WON'T have, because they're too fucking STUPID AND LAZY.

This leads to a kind of conditioning, where you see the things and people you USED to want, and it fills you with rage.  You aren't mad at the nice looking young lady walking by, but you ARE mad.  She's a trigger, not a target.

So when you see me look at you and start foaming at the mouth, it probably isn't you.  No, the actual target of my loathing is most likely the fat fucking useless blob of shit that in another universe would be walking with you and holding your hand, instead of slowly turning into a giant tofu cube in front of WoW or Skyrim.

So just ignore the old man screaming and turning purple, and go about your business.  It's just another day in Tucson.

Oh, and get the fuck off my lawn.

Or Kill Me.

[Cramulus]

You know it's over, the first time you see a drop-dead hottie in his/her mid-20s...And instead of lust, you just feel an aesthetic sense of admiration for the person's looks, because you just aren't wired the same as you were.  Your sense of physical attraction is now geared toward other middle aged people.

whew, I'm starting to feel that

was leaving the steakhouse after birthday dinner last night. There was a group of like 15 girls, barely 21, dressed to kill. Two of them ran up to me and asked me if I could take a picture of their little coterie. I couldn't shake how disorientingly awkward it was -- that I wasn't even interested in their hot little asses. Just too fresh out of the egg.


I felt most disoriented when I read a study that the average kid age 17 or younger sends something like 3000 text messages per month. I can't even imagine what that's like. I'm staring at the culture gap right there. It used to be that people my age were computer whizzes, we get technology much better than the people we work for. I had always wondered what would make me shake my fist at the "kids these days". Turns out its cell phones. It's weird not being able to relate to it. You start to wish that they'd be different or something, that their youth would share a chord with yours.

How's that line go, Cain?
Kids these days have no values! 

[Jasper]

I'm a screwed up 25 year old, and I approve this message.

Lately I have been acquainted with heartburn, wrinkles, and more than the occasional grey hair.  I drink tea more often than coffee now, can't stand anybody who doesn't act at least twice my age, and I grin inwardly when little kids scream and cry in department stores because you fucking know nothing is wrong except the toy shaped hole in their bleeding hearts.

I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster.  It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s².  As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.

What the fuck.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cram, that's the part that kills me.  Instead of hanging out & doing shit, they reduce all of their interactions to text messages.  Sort of like someone that has their ENTIRE social network on forums, Facebook, IRC chats, etc.

The Flobots made an interesting rap about age progression:

Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it's good to be
ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper
even when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm Proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all healed of their lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

(choruses stripped)

I'm at the bolded part, but I can see the italicized part from here.  There's a reason the old hate the young, and it isn't jealousy.  At least not for me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm a screwed up 25 year old, and I approve this message.

Lately I have been acquainted with heartburn, wrinkles, and more than the occasional grey hair.  I drink tea more often than coffee now, can't stand anybody who doesn't act at least twice my age, and I grin inwardly when little kids scream and cry in department stores because you fucking know nothing is wrong except the toy shaped hole in their bleeding hearts.

I dread 30 because I seem to be getting older, faster.  It's like I'm falling down a spiral DNA staircase at 32ft/s².  As if this wasn't bad enough, I seem to be, perversely, enjoying it.

What the fuck.

It's not as much fun when you reach the bottom of the spiral.

Or, I should say, your idea of fun is different.  As far as I can tell, life actually begins at 40.

[Jasper]

In the meantime, I think I'll do some living.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In the meantime, I think I'll do some living.

That would be the general idea.

You only get one trip around the merry go round...And when it's over, there's no prize for having the highest level character in World of Warcraft.

[Cain]

You should try living in close proximity with them.

"You're young, rich, living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and have an unlimited curfew.  And you're spending your free time watching Family Guy on DVD in the common room?  At least I have a good reason for hanging around here all day."

Fortunately, at 26, I am still able to enjoy most of the benefits of youth which they are squandering, so I do not get angry, I just shake my head and think "idiots", while I go to blow a fortune drunkenly trolling Young Tories in the bars of Chelsea.

[Sita]

Cram, that's the part that kills me.  Instead of hanging out & doing shit, they reduce all of their interactions to text messages.  Sort of like someone that has their ENTIRE social network on forums, Facebook, IRC chats, etc.

I'll just hide over here now....

[Jasper]

You should try living in close proximity with them.

"You're young, rich, living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and have an unlimited curfew.  And you're spending your free time watching Family Guy on DVD in the common room?  At least I have a good reason for hanging around here all day."

Fortunately, at 26, I am still able to enjoy most of the benefits of youth which they are squandering, so I do not get angry, I just shake my head and think "idiots", while I go to blow a fortune drunkenly trolling Young Tories in the bars of Chelsea.

If they'd been living with the explicit limitation that they must only ever watch funny DVDs and stay inside and only talk to people around the house, there'd be jailbreak and riot.  Instead, the world is open to them so they limit themselves.  I chalk it up the the basic cussedness of all human behavior.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cram, that's the part that kills me.  Instead of hanging out & doing shit, they reduce all of their interactions to text messages.  Sort of like someone that has their ENTIRE social network on forums, Facebook, IRC chats, etc.

I'll just hide over here now....

Go outside.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You should try living in close proximity with them.

"You're young, rich, living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and have an unlimited curfew.  And you're spending your free time watching Family Guy on DVD in the common room?  At least I have a good reason for hanging around here all day."

Fortunately, at 26, I am still able to enjoy most of the benefits of youth which they are squandering, so I do not get angry, I just shake my head and think "idiots", while I go to blow a fortune drunkenly trolling Young Tories in the bars of Chelsea.

Because they can have it, they don't want it.

They break curfew, right?

[Cain]

Quite likely, yes.  I know I'm finding the sheer amount of choice somewhat difficult to handle myself.  But I have been sensible and bought guide books and asked locals for advice.  For instance, I think on my weekend off, not this weekend but the next one, I am going to visit the restuarant where you eat in complete darkness.  Why?  Why the fuck not.  Then I might go get sozzled in Henry VIII's wine cellar, or else go visit the Andaz Hotel Masonic Temple.

[Cain]

Ultimately, I think it comes down to a lack of imagination, coupled with status quo blindness.  "Things will be like this for forever, so I don't need to hurry" along with "er, I didn't really think about that, I guess".

This is because young people are not immune to Sturgeon's Law.  90% of them are fundamentally not that bright, or only bright in specific, constrained ways.  Unless something is handed to them on a platter, with all the information there, the chances of getting them to actually do anything is very slim.

For example: last Sunday was the Chinese New Year celebrations in London.  Yes, a week after the actual Chinese New Year, but whatever.  London has the world's largest Chinatown outside of China itself, and they always put on a good show.  So I researched the programme of events, drew up maps and directions on how to get to China town and printed these all out in easy to understand handouts, which I then placed next to the registers.

I think about four people other than myself decided to go.  Which is more than would have gone if I had just put up a sign saying "New Year trip to Chinatown".  Out of 60 odd students, that seems pretty bad, I know, but when you compare it to our Halloween "party", it was an excellent turn-out.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Quite likely, yes.  I know I'm finding the sheer amount of choice somewhat difficult to handle myself.  But I have been sensible and bought guide books and asked locals for advice.  For instance, I think on my weekend off, not this weekend but the next one, I am going to visit the restuarant where you eat in complete darkness.  Why?  Why the fuck not.  Then I might go get sozzled in Henry VIII's wine cellar, or else go visit the Andaz Hotel Masonic Temple.

Just so long as you do something.