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Why Middle-Aged People Fill Me With HATE

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 02, 2012, 05:10:02 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

February 02, 2012, 05:10:02 PM
Okay, so you're in your 40s. You have begun developing an appreciation of your own mortality.  What's more, you have come to understand at a gut-level that you aren't the main character.  Pretty young people call you "sir" or "ma'am" when you are forced to interact with them at the check out counter.  You wear sensible shoes, drive sensible transportation...And ACT in the most nonsensical ways possible.

This is because people resist the idea of aging, and they pick one or two things that they think clinging to will somehow help them avoid getting old and dying.

1.  Sex:  This is the most prevalent and most obvious one.  You ditch your spouse for someone 20 years younger, and try desperately to ignore the fact that you look fucking RIDICULOUS.  You're a pathetic joke, and you can see it in your new toy's eyes, every time he or she sees you naked.  He/she has a body like a rubber band, and you are all droopy.  He/she aren't with you because you're a stallion/cougar, sweetheart.  You are a meal ticket, and all your friends are laughing at you.

2.  Partying:  The club creeper.  Nuff said.  YOU LOOK FUCKING STUPID AND MORE THAN A LITTLE CREEPY.  When the women all go into the bathroom, they're talking about you.  Only not in a good way.  They're talking about how you look like their nasty old uncle.  And they're laughing, in a nervous, creeped out way.  And when they leave the club, they do so in large groups, because YOU might be in the parking lot.  If you want to go tie one on, great.  If you want to go dancing, great.  There are all-ages clubs everywhere.  Leave the kids alone, you're freaking them out.

3.  Toys:  It is one of God's little jokes that states that if you are old enough to afford a Mustang, you fucking LOOK STUPID IN ONE.  Nobody is admiring you or even feeling envious while you drive it.  They are shaking their heads and laughing at you.  Note that this differs from a hobby, such as car restoration, etc.  If you're driving a Studebaker, everyone thinks you're a cool old man/woman.  If you're driving a Hummer, they fucking hate you.

These are all symptoms of NOT ACTING YOUR AGE.  By this, I definitely do NOT mean "calm down and shut up", I mean, "Have the kind of fun you want NOW, not the kind of 'fun' you had two fucking decades ago".  You MIGHT get old.  You ARE going to die.  Stop trying to be something you aren't, and fucking LIVE while you STILL CAN, you stupid bastards.

Christ.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
February 02, 2012, 05:34:18 PM
Incidentally, the OP doesn't mean that relationships with a large age difference can't work, or that they are all based on mid-life crisises..

But that's how you bet.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#2
February 02, 2012, 05:35:34 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:34:18 PM
Incidentally, the OP doesn't mean that relationships with a large age difference can't work, or that they are all based on mid-life crisises..

But that's how you bet.

It's a safe bet. I imagine they almost always don't end well anyway due to differences in where they are in life and maturity level.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
February 02, 2012, 05:36:46 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on February 02, 2012, 05:35:34 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 02, 2012, 05:34:18 PM
Incidentally, the OP doesn't mean that relationships with a large age difference can't work, or that they are all based on mid-life crisises..

But that's how you bet.

It's a safe bet. I imagine they almost always don't end well anyway due to differences in where they are in life and maturity level.

A 45 year old has NOTHING in common with a 20 year old.

If they do, it's usually a symptom that something is very wrong with one of them.  Occasional exceptions occur, but we're talking a TINY fraction, here.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#4
February 02, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
Hey, what's wrong with middle-aged sex?

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
February 02, 2012, 09:48:02 PM
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 02, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
Hey, what's wrong with middle-aged sex?

I made a podcast about that very subject.

When I get home, I'll post the link.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

#6
February 02, 2012, 10:01:44 PM
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 02, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
Hey, what's wrong with middle-aged sex?

Everything.  EVERYTHING.

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#7
February 02, 2012, 10:08:36 PM
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
February 03, 2012, 01:26:05 AM
 :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
February 03, 2012, 02:50:48 AM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

#10
February 03, 2012, 03:08:05 AM
JGF may or may not decide to avail herself of the dangers by watching the video.  Seems iffy.  :lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
February 03, 2012, 03:08:37 AM
Quote from: Jasper on February 03, 2012, 03:08:05 AM
JGF may or may not decide to avail herself of the dangers by watching the video.  Seems iffy.  :lulz:

Don't do eet!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

#12
February 03, 2012, 03:10:55 AM
Yeah, not doing it.  Just finished the video.  She's a nice lady, and needn't see that.  *snicker*

EK WAFFLR

#13
February 03, 2012, 09:10:02 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2012, 02:50:48 AM
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 02, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
Hey, what's wrong with middle-aged sex?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beRgbtrcetw&feature=g-upl&context=G247ca1bAUAAAAAAADAA

Don't click that.

You've been warned.

I clicked it. Saw it, then Podcast 12, and then Epic Movements. My cats are now afraid of me.  :argh!:
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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The Good Reverend Roger

#14
February 03, 2012, 01:49:35 PM
Quote from: Jasper on February 03, 2012, 03:10:55 AM
Yeah, not doing it.  Just finished the video.  She's a nice lady, and needn't see that.  *snicker*

Yes she should.  I mean, no she shouldn't.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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