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Discordian Weddings

Started by Danjanon, February 07, 2012, 02:04:52 PM

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Danjanon

A friend of mine has asked me to officiate their wedding and since they know I'm a Pope they said I could incorporate Discordianism. What do people think would be in a Discordian Wedding?

LMNO

Considering that a wedding is about them and not you, I'd say very, very little.

Triple Zero

For starters, you should snub a few key people. Or send them a follow-up invitation with a wrong address on the other side of town.

Then when they finally do show up, they should throw a--traditionally a golden apple, but any type of solid metal object that can be held in the hand will do, through the glass window, and START A WAR [also make sure to GO TO THE STORE to stock up on FIRE]

In fact maybe better if it's not a golden apple, otherwise they'll suspect you immediately.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Cramulus

Hi Danjanon!

You may be interested in reading about a classic Discordian wedding. Back in the 90s, this is actually one of the first pages I found which mentioned Discordia: http://www.ginohn.com/wunder201005/wedding/index.html

These guys named Gina and John had a Discordian wedding. It took place in the woods.

When the party gathered, Gina was already up in the tree. The groom arrived, climbed into the tree, and sat with her there. The priest was late to the wedding due to wearing plate mail. The ceremony, in his mind, was fusing the two individuals together into one being.

"John and Gina. Gina and John. Two people who are about to become one person. I will call this person Ginohn!"



Pretty good wedding, from the sound of it. They had skits. And the priest's word that they were married was basically a dare.

QuoteHere are some simple guidelines you might try (and who knows if they'll work?) to experience a fulfilling marriage:
Love each other. Do not stop doing this. Ever. If you stop, um, start again.
Take time to be together. Is something preventing this? KILL IT.
Respect each other. Love alone is not sufficient.
Listen to each other. Now and forever, you are both teacher and student.
Support each other. Stand back-to-back during melees.
I urge you -

I challenge you -

I DOUBLE DOG DARE you - to do these things, and do them well.

Cramulus

- mod note - since this is about interpreting Discordia, and not about a group project, I'm going to move this to the Principia subforum. If we don't keep this place organized, it'll become self aware and destroy us.


Triple Zero

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 07, 2012, 02:09:07 PM
Considering that a wedding is about them and not you, I'd say very, very little.

In this light,

- make it your personal mission to ensure there are no hotdogs at the event

- under NO circumstances, ask Eris to "bless" their marriage

- at the afterparty, maybe request the DJ to play some nice KLF
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Danjanon on February 07, 2012, 02:04:52 PM
A friend of mine has asked me to officiate their wedding and since they know I'm a Pope they said I could incorporate Discordianism. What do people think would be in a Discordian Wedding?

A very, very disappointed bride.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO


LMNO

TBH, I incorporated some Discordia into my wedding-- but it was more from a "the universe is random, and up to us to give it meaning" kind of way.

Also, we drank wine and broke stuff. I think Mrs LMNO's family thinks we're Jewish now.

Luna

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 07, 2012, 03:19:43 PM
Quote from: Danjanon on February 07, 2012, 02:04:52 PM
A friend of mine has asked me to officiate their wedding and since they know I'm a Pope they said I could incorporate Discordianism. What do people think would be in a Discordian Wedding?

A very, very disappointed bride.

I declare my marriage retroactively Discordian.  God knows I was disappointed. Often.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I really love the "double dog dare" component in that ceremony. If I ever marry again I want something like that in mine.

Danjanon, I have performed officiated three weddings so far, and I would say that your best bet is to keep any Discordian touches on the zen side and stay away from the pinealist side.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Luna

Quote from: Nigel on February 07, 2012, 03:37:07 PM
I really love the "double dog dare" component in that ceremony. If I ever marry again I want something like that in mine.

Danjanon, I have performed officiated three weddings so far, and I would say that your best bet is to keep any Discordian touches on the zen side and stay away from the pinealist side.

I like that, myself.

The marriage ceremony shouldn't be about you, it should be about them.  If you know them, do what will resonate for THEM.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

The wedding is really for the bride.  My advice, as your spiritual advisor, is to tell your friend to let his wife - possibly with help from both mothers - plan it.

Leave the Discordian stuff for afterwards.

Trust me on this one.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.


Triple Zero

Quote from: Cramulus on February 07, 2012, 04:13:56 PM
Discordian wedding story: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,31574.0.html

I agree. It's not a real Discordian wedding unless you arrange for an infant to CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE all over everybody.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.