« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 16

Author Topic: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:  (Read 37333 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« on: February 07, 2012, 07:53:57 pm »
Oh, ye wretches that only stand and wait!  Do ye not know the awful punishment that awaits thee?  Do ye not know that there is no room in heaven or even heck for people who are merely spectators?  Who only VIEW, who never speak, who keep WAITING?  Is it not written1 that ye shall be cast into the Nashville Bus Station for eternity?  Ye shall want for food, but only the vending machines shall await thee!

Will “Bob” or Eris hear thy excuses?  “I never know what to say”, thou shall plead, and you will be told, “neither did anyone else, and THEY spewed!”.  Then ye shall be tipped over in the prank chair, and go down that horrible slide into the darkness, arriving in Phoenix with strange welts and inexplicable puncture marks, and lawyers and collection agents shall jam writs under your door and Sheriff Joe will pull you over on suspicion of being suspicious, and yea, his flunkies will beat thee black & blue.

There shall be no joy in Mudville, for ye shall always strike out.  There will be no parking.  Traffic will ALWAYS suck.  The minimum wait in the urgent care clinic (which you will become intimately familiar with) shall be measured in geologic epochs.  The radio will only play Taylor Swift.  You will have to wear a tie at your new job, and suspenders covered in “flash”, while you serve food to obnoxious & obese demons who never tip.

Your car will overheat, but only on the way HOME from work.  Your shoes will melt on the sidewalk.  Your cereal will START OUT mushy, and then just turn horrible.  The back of the ambulance is full of Glendale cops, and they will teach YOU not to ever again increase their paperwork.  Dogs will bite you.  Rats the size of Newt Gingrich’s ass will gnaw on you in your sleep.  Valley fever will be your DEFAULT HEALTH CONDITION.

You have been warned, O ye miserable wretched fucktard assmonkeys.  So just sit there and VIEW, and pretend that EVERYTHING’S OKAY, when you know deep inside it’s NOT OKAY, and that sneer on your lips will be wiped off and a sickly smile will be STAPLED TO YOUR FACE, so you can walk around pretending EVERYTHING’S JUST GREAT.  But you’ll know.  Oh, yes.

Or Kill Me.




1  If it isn’t, it should be.
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2012, 08:11:31 pm »
You know what?  Fuck it.  Not trying to be funny about it, anymore.

You bastards want to VIEW all day, and not say a fucking word?  TO FUCKING HELL WITH YOU, THEN.

I'm outta here for the foreseeable future, you fucking TELEVISION JUNKIES.

EAT A FUCKING DICK.
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6170
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2012, 08:16:10 pm »
Dec14 needs to take flouncing lessons from Roger
Logged

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2012, 08:20:16 pm »
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 07, 2012, 08:16:10 pm
Dec14 needs to take flouncing lessons from Roger

So who the hell is flouncing?  I'm just not going to write another fucking thing.  I'm done.  I'm just gonna VIEW, like all the other fuckmonkey dittoheads.  I mean, if there's only 4 or 5 people ranting (Me, Cain, Cuddlefish, Nigel, Cram) and NOBODY EVEN RESPONDING LET ALONE SPEWING A BIT THEMSELVES, then we're just Rush Limbaugh for fucking weirdos, aren't we?

And if THAT'S the case, then I expect that we should be PAID for this shit. 
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6170
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2012, 08:21:48 pm »
I meant it as a compliment!
Logged

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2012, 08:22:34 pm »
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 07, 2012, 08:21:48 pm
I meant it as a compliment!

I'm going to get REALLY fat and smoke obnoxious cigars.

And get addicted to Oxycontin.

Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 62820
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2012, 08:27:58 pm »
OR KILL ME.
       \
 :rush:
Logged

Demolition_Squid

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1071
  • Bank?! OH SHIIIIIIIIT!
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2012, 08:28:19 pm »
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 07, 2012, 08:20:16 pm
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 07, 2012, 08:16:10 pm
Dec14 needs to take flouncing lessons from Roger

So who the hell is flouncing?  I'm just not going to write another fucking thing.  I'm done.  I'm just gonna VIEW, like all the other fuckmonkey dittoheads.  I mean, if there's only 4 or 5 people ranting (Me, Cain, Cuddlefish, Nigel, Cram) and NOBODY EVEN RESPONDING LET ALONE SPEWING A BIT THEMSELVES, then we're just Rush Limbaugh for fucking weirdos, aren't we?

And if THAT'S the case, then I expect that we should be PAID for this shit.

Come on in, the couch is fine.

Zzzzzz.
Logged
Truly, though our element is time,
We are not suited to the long perspectives
Open at each instant of our lives.
They link us to our losses: worse,
They show us what we have as it once was,
Blindingly undiminished, just as though
By acting differently, we could have kept it so.

-Reference Back, Phillip Larkin

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2012, 08:29:23 pm »
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 07, 2012, 08:27:58 pm
OR KILL ME.
       \
 :rush:

There's no more Or Kill Me.  This place is beyond the help of a Holy Man™.  It's over.
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2012, 08:30:06 pm »
Quote from: Demolition_Squid on February 07, 2012, 08:28:19 pm
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 07, 2012, 08:20:16 pm
Quote from: Queen_Gogira on February 07, 2012, 08:16:10 pm
Dec14 needs to take flouncing lessons from Roger

So who the hell is flouncing?  I'm just not going to write another fucking thing.  I'm done.  I'm just gonna VIEW, like all the other fuckmonkey dittoheads.  I mean, if there's only 4 or 5 people ranting (Me, Cain, Cuddlefish, Nigel, Cram) and NOBODY EVEN RESPONDING LET ALONE SPEWING A BIT THEMSELVES, then we're just Rush Limbaugh for fucking weirdos, aren't we?

And if THAT'S the case, then I expect that we should be PAID for this shit.

Come on in, the couch is fine.

Zzzzzz.

Yeah, well, beats staring at a Word screen until blood drops form on my forehead.

Budge over.  And hand me the crisps.
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 15897
  • Pull-Start Enema Wasteland
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2012, 09:08:09 pm »
I'm the kind of guy who just likes to listen and think.  Anyone who's met me when I wasn't drinking knows this.  I don't like to talk when there's no need, and I passionately hate it when other people talk just to keep away the silence.

And I have a job that takes my full attention, so even though I spend 7 hours a day at a computer, I have little time to do much other than skim the posts, keep in the loop best I can, post the occasional remark, and avoid getting fired for blatantly skiving off.  The few times I have taken time to write anything that wouldn't fit in a tweet here, my output is noticeably diminished because I spend so much time reading whatever came after it the rest of the day. 

So I heartily disavow any allegations that I am not awesome, and politely excuse myself from any kind of repercussions for my actions.

Logged

Demolition_Squid

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1071
  • Bank?! OH SHIIIIIIIIT!
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2012, 09:09:42 pm »
I thought about taking offence, honestly. In fact, I've tried to verbalize something three times about how this thread pissed me the fuck off.

But maybe there's some truth in it.

And anyway, its easier to just share crisps.

They're BBQ.
Logged
Truly, though our element is time,
We are not suited to the long perspectives
Open at each instant of our lives.
They link us to our losses: worse,
They show us what we have as it once was,
Blindingly undiminished, just as though
By acting differently, we could have kept it so.

-Reference Back, Phillip Larkin

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2012, 09:11:09 pm »
Quote from: Jasper on February 07, 2012, 09:08:09 pm
I'm the kind of guy who just likes to listen and think.  Anyone who's met me when I wasn't drinking knows this.  I don't like to talk when there's no need, and I passionately hate it when other people talk just to keep away the silence.

And I have a job that takes my full attention, so even though I spend 7 hours a day at a computer, I have little time to do much other than skim the posts, keep in the loop best I can, post the occasional remark, and avoid getting fired for blatantly skiving off.  The few times I have taken time to write anything that wouldn't fit in a tweet here, my output is noticeably diminished because I spend so much time reading whatever came after it the rest of the day. 

So I heartily disavow any allegations that I am not awesome, and politely excuse myself from any kind of repercussions for my actions.

This thread is a curse levied by me, the Holy Man™, unto You People, the sinners.  It was not a request for information as to the reasons you dwell in sin & squalor & laziness.  When the Great Scorer chalks your name up, no excuses will be heeded, no mumbled shit about "responding later" will be even listened to.  No, out will come the sand weasels, and that's pretty much that for eternity.

Enjoy your damnation, sir.
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2012, 09:13:39 pm »
Quote from: Demolition_Squid on February 07, 2012, 09:09:42 pm
I thought about taking offence, honestly. In fact, I've tried to verbalize something three times about how this thread pissed me the fuck off.

But maybe there's some truth in it.

And anyway, its easier to just share crisps.

They're BBQ.

I thought, while writing it, that it might piss people off.  That is in fact WHY I wrote it...After all, if I am pissed off, then EVERYONE gets to be pissed off. 

But, like yourself, I thought about it some more, and I'm just going to do my ranting elsewhere, because it feels too much like jacking off when I do it here, nowdays.

I will still be here to take part in idle chatter, but there's no more fucking Holiness™ to be had, at any price.  You lazy cunts.
Logged
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Wolfgang Absolutus

  • El Duderino
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 156
  • I'm a dude
    • View Profile
Re: Attention, you snotty little lurking bastards:
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2012, 09:45:21 pm »
Hey come on dude. relax
Logged
Thinking and Breathing are my main occupations.
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 16
« previous next »