I don't care about your wonderful experience with marijuana. Shut up.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My biggest problem is getting them past the protesters.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also it makes me kind of awkward and withdrawn, even more so than I usually am!

If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.

It isn't, and I DO know.

Took me a few years and some experimentation, but I finally decided that the stuff, by and large, is not for me.

Yep.  Enlightenment, on the other hand, isn't found in a one-hitter.  It's found in FINALLY TURNING THE TABLES ON THE DUMBFUCKS.  It's found, for example, by telling the mean cop who wants to know WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED that you're a good, church-going man, and you and your daughter were just checking out the gem show and these PEOPLE, these PAGAN DEVIL WORSHIPPERS started EYEBALLIN' YOU and making suggestions about "How they could 'psychically cleanse' my little girl, if I gave them $50 dollars and left her there for 4 hours." and so YEAH, you might have overreacted a LITTLE, but officer, they're in there WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL and trying to BRAINWASH MY KID!  OR WORSE!  And now I just wanna get my kid HOME, and let her TRY TO FORGET the DEVIL PEOPLE.

And then the cop is looking at you, and you know SOMEONE is getting hit with a nightstick, and then he says "Thank you for your time, sir", and heads back off toward the stall with the mortally offended new-agers that freaked out when you JUST ASKED QUESTIONS and made you spill your coffee, and you realize that YOU aren't the one getting the hickory migraine.

And THAT is fucking ENLIGHTENMENT.

Better way to say it:  Enlightenment happens when you find the handles that control society.  Then it's ALL YOURS.  muhaha

[Reginald Ret]

The muhaha is an essential component here, ignore the muhaha at your own peril.

[El Sjaako]

Pot makes me feel good, but it very rarely makes for an interesting subject to talk about. I have used it (weed as a topic) to scare away some christians I didn't feel like talking to once.

[rong]

smoking pot makes me wonder why i smoked pot

[dontblameyoko]

Here's the thing:  If pot is YOUR religion, great.  Go home and become one with the couch.  For ME, though, I don't NEED pot, because I'm high on HATE¹.  Just don't tell me about your 180-whatever-smoke-every-day evangelistic BULLSHIT, or I'll do to YOU what I just did to some MORMONS last week.  Because it's THE SAME FUCKING THING.

what *did* you do to the Mormons last week?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Here's the thing:  If pot is YOUR religion, great.  Go home and become one with the couch.  For ME, though, I don't NEED pot, because I'm high on HATE¹.  Just don't tell me about your 180-whatever-smoke-every-day evangelistic BULLSHIT, or I'll do to YOU what I just did to some MORMONS last week.  Because it's THE SAME FUCKING THING.

what *did* you do to the Mormons last week?

I was really, really polite, and I offered them a ride.

And I smiled.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here's the thing:  If pot is YOUR religion, great.  Go home and become one with the couch.  For ME, though, I don't NEED pot, because I'm high on HATE¹.  Just don't tell me about your 180-whatever-smoke-every-day evangelistic BULLSHIT, or I'll do to YOU what I just did to some MORMONS last week.  Because it's THE SAME FUCKING THING.

what *did* you do to the Mormons last week?

I was really, really polite, and I offered them a ride.

And I smiled.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Here's the thing:  If pot is YOUR religion, great.  Go home and become one with the couch.  For ME, though, I don't NEED pot, because I'm high on HATE¹.  Just don't tell me about your 180-whatever-smoke-every-day evangelistic BULLSHIT, or I'll do to YOU what I just did to some MORMONS last week.  Because it's THE SAME FUCKING THING.

what *did* you do to the Mormons last week?

I was really, really polite, and I offered them a ride.

And I smiled.

I was wearing a flat cap and an insulated vest, and workboots.

I can't imagine what horrors were going through their heads. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here's the thing:  If pot is YOUR religion, great.  Go home and become one with the couch.  For ME, though, I don't NEED pot, because I'm high on HATE¹.  Just don't tell me about your 180-whatever-smoke-every-day evangelistic BULLSHIT, or I'll do to YOU what I just did to some MORMONS last week.  Because it's THE SAME FUCKING THING.

what *did* you do to the Mormons last week?

I was really, really polite, and I offered them a ride.

And I smiled.

I was wearing a flat cap and an insulated vest, and workboots.

I can't imagine what horrors were going through their heads. 

I have no doubt they were picturing themselves skinned, violated, and left in the desert.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And by "violated" I don't mean sexually.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

And by "violated" I don't mean sexually.

Oh, I distinctly thought they were seeing that on the menu.

You've never seen me leer.  And with good reason.  Enabler beats me when I leer, and that just makes everything worse.  I mean the leering bit.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And by "violated" I don't mean sexually.

Oh, I distinctly thought they were seeing that on the menu.

You've never seen me leer.  And with good reason.  Enabler beats me when I leer, and that just makes everything worse.  I mean the leering bit.

I demand a leer for Spagbook! YOUR ADORING PUBLIC DESERVES IT!

[Freeky]

Also it makes me kind of awkward and withdrawn, even more so than I usually am!

If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.

It isn't, and I DO know.

Took me a few years and some experimentation, but I finally decided that the stuff, by and large, is not for me.

Yep.  Enlightenment, on the other hand, isn't found in a one-hitter.  It's found in FINALLY TURNING THE TABLES ON THE DUMBFUCKS.  It's found, for example, by telling the mean cop who wants to know WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED that you're a good, church-going man, and you and your daughter were just checking out the gem show and these PEOPLE, these PAGAN DEVIL WORSHIPPERS started EYEBALLIN' YOU and making suggestions about "How they could 'psychically cleanse' my little girl, if I gave them $50 dollars and left her there for 4 hours." and so YEAH, you might have overreacted a LITTLE, but officer, they're in there WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL and trying to BRAINWASH MY KID!  OR WORSE!  And now I just wanna get my kid HOME, and let her TRY TO FORGET the DEVIL PEOPLE.

And then the cop is looking at you, and you know SOMEONE is getting hit with a nightstick, and then he says "Thank you for your time, sir", and heads back off toward the stall with the mortally offended new-agers that freaked out when you JUST ASKED QUESTIONS and made you spill your coffee, and you realize that YOU aren't the one getting the hickory migraine.

And THAT is fucking ENLIGHTENMENT.

  Well if they didn't smoke pot and wear patchouli, then they wouldn't have done all those things, including inflicting themselves with a hickory migraine.

[Triple Zero]

Yep.  Enlightenment, on the other hand, isn't found in a one-hitter.  It's found in FINALLY TURNING THE TABLES ON THE DUMBFUCKS.  It's found, for example, by telling the mean cop who wants to know WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED that you're a good, church-going man, and you and your daughter were just checking out the gem show and these PEOPLE, these PAGAN DEVIL WORSHIPPERS started EYEBALLIN' YOU and making suggestions about "How they could 'psychically cleanse' my little girl, if I gave them $50 dollars and left her there for 4 hours." and so YEAH, you might have overreacted a LITTLE, but officer, they're in there WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL and trying to BRAINWASH MY KID!  OR WORSE!  And now I just wanna get my kid HOME, and let her TRY TO FORGET the DEVIL PEOPLE.

And then the cop is looking at you, and you know SOMEONE is getting hit with a nightstick, and then he says "Thank you for your time, sir", and heads back off toward the stall with the mortally offended new-agers that freaked out when you JUST ASKED QUESTIONS and made you spill your coffee, and you realize that YOU aren't the one getting the hickory migraine.

And THAT is fucking ENLIGHTENMENT.

Hahahaa! Is this part of the same story when you went into the psychic (?) convention and started prophesying, that you told a week or two ago?




I use pot maybe once a month, and it's mainly useful for giving my head a big kick in the head, which makes it go quieter for a while, I'm not sure if that is actually useful, but it's nice to tune the smartass bastard down a notch or two, sometimes.