I don't care about your wonderful experience with marijuana. Shut up.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 15, 2012, 08:07:55 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

You know, I get a real boot out of people who act all surprised when I tell them I don't smoke weed.  It's even FUNNIER when they find out that I DID years ago, but DON'T now.  I am treated almost like a traitor, like I ABANDONED THE CAUSE.

Here's the thing:  If pot is YOUR religion, great.  Go home and become one with the couch.  For ME, though, I don't NEED pot, because I'm high on HATE1.  Just don't tell me about your 180-whatever-smoke-every-day evangelistic BULLSHIT, or I'll do to YOU what I just did to some MORMONS last week.  Because it's THE SAME FUCKING THING.

Then, when you EXPLAIN all this shit, they say "But I thought you were COOL."  Well, I'm NOT.  I'm OLD and I hate you.  I don't mean some cutesy curdmudgeony Dennis the Menace's next door neighbor hate, I mean a BLISTERING HATE that conjures up images of flensing knives and maybe the Mount Pelee disaster.

Who the fuck needs trippy colors and spaced out giggling?  I have BRIGHT RED in my eyes and an evil, consumptive chuckle.  Because of you.  You fuckers MAKE NO SENSE, and you're IN MY WAY.  Stop being in my way.  Yeah, you, patchouli boy, blocking the whole aisle while you burn up all your food stamps on Doritos.

So, yeah.  Stop telling me about the Wonders of Pot, because I did that shit BEFORE YOU WERE BORN, and it's NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT.

So just shut up.  All of you.

Or Kill Me.


1  And benzodiazapam.  And peyote.  And bourbon.  But that's a Holy Man™ thing, and doesn't count.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Rev

:mittens:

Hell, if I could get it legally I would enjoy a hit in the evening with my rotgut whiskey, but fools that worship it are, well, fools.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Charley Brown on February 15, 2012, 08:13:17 PM
:mittens:

Hell, if I could get it legally I would enjoy a hit in the evening with my rotgut whiskey, but fools that worship it are, well, fools.

Yep.

Note that this doesn't apply to Afro Man.  He's an exception.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I eat pot when I need to sleep.

For being awake, it's not so useful.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cainad (dec.)

BUT ROGER

ONE TIME I SMOKED WEED AND THEN I FELT KINDA WEIRD AND FELT MY HEAD GET ALL STUPID

THEN I GOT PARANOID AND HUNGRY

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY CLOSE YOURSELF OFF TO THE UNIVERSE LIKE THAT, MAN?

Cainad (dec.)

Also it makes me kind of awkward and withdrawn, even more so than I usually am!

If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Nigel on February 15, 2012, 08:22:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 08:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on February 15, 2012, 08:19:48 PM
I eat pot when I need to sleep.

And if THAT doesn't work, she snorts morphine.   :lulz:

You don't want to know what I do to cocaine.

I done heard about that sorta thing.  Some guy wound up getting both legs, his penis, and nine fingers amputated, because he thought shooting cocaine up his urethra (sp?) would MAKE SEX BETTER, but what it DID was give him GANGRENE IN HIS PENIS, which then spread to other bits.

What Nigel does with cocaine, is she tells people shit like this WORKS, and then she laughs like hell when what's left of them gets back from the hospital.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cainad on February 15, 2012, 08:26:50 PM
Also it makes me kind of awkward and withdrawn, even more so than I usually am!

If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.

It isn't, and I DO know.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 08:28:40 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 15, 2012, 08:26:50 PM
Also it makes me kind of awkward and withdrawn, even more so than I usually am!

If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.

It isn't, and I DO know.

:lol:

Took me a few years and some experimentation, but I finally decided that the stuff, by and large, is not for me.

Salty

Well, now, maybe you're not giving this thing a fair chance.

Can't you see how not only does it FEEL AMAZING but also creates a nice partition between US and THEM. We don't have enough of those. Some people get it easy and get a nice place to sit and watch the world because of their skin color or what kind (and how many) genitals they like to do things with. You can't change what you are, and hobbies sort of suck. I mean, you get all the supplies for some project and they just sit in your closet until you move out and shuffle them around. Like that one time I wanted to make figures out of balsa wood. Man that stuff is way lighter than it looks, that balsa wood.

Uh, yeah. Anyway. You get this nice sense of...I dunno, you know who your friends are, you know? If we can just toke up we'll be bros. Man that what they should do in the middle east. Just split a bowl or two. Dude.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Pope Pixie Pickle

Smoking strong weed on the daily is BAD FOR YOUR BRAIN. I know this from horrible experience.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 08:28:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on February 15, 2012, 08:22:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 08:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on February 15, 2012, 08:19:48 PM
I eat pot when I need to sleep.

And if THAT doesn't work, she snorts morphine.   :lulz:

You don't want to know what I do to cocaine.

I done heard about that sorta thing.  Some guy wound up getting both legs, his penis, and nine fingers amputated, because he thought shooting cocaine up his urethra (sp?) would MAKE SEX BETTER, but what it DID was give him GANGRENE IN HIS PENIS, which then spread to other bits.

What Nigel does with cocaine, is she tells people shit like this WORKS, and then she laughs like hell when what's left of them gets back from the hospital.

WHY YOU GOTTA SPILL ALL MY SECRETS ROGER

YOU KNOW IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO FIND GOOD ENTERTAINMENT AROUND HERE.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cainad on February 15, 2012, 08:31:53 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 08:28:40 PM
Quote from: Cainad on February 15, 2012, 08:26:50 PM
Also it makes me kind of awkward and withdrawn, even more so than I usually am!

If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.

It isn't, and I DO know.

:lol:

Took me a few years and some experimentation, but I finally decided that the stuff, by and large, is not for me.

Yep.  Enlightenment, on the other hand, isn't found in a one-hitter.  It's found in FINALLY TURNING THE TABLES ON THE DUMBFUCKS.  It's found, for example, by telling the mean cop who wants to know WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED that you're a good, church-going man, and you and your daughter were just checking out the gem show and these PEOPLE, these PAGAN DEVIL WORSHIPPERS started EYEBALLIN' YOU and making suggestions about "How they could 'psychically cleanse' my little girl, if I gave them $50 dollars and left her there for 4 hours." and so YEAH, you might have overreacted a LITTLE, but officer, they're in there WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL and trying to BRAINWASH MY KID!  OR WORSE!  And now I just wanna get my kid HOME, and let her TRY TO FORGET the DEVIL PEOPLE.

And then the cop is looking at you, and you know SOMEONE is getting hit with a nightstick, and then he says "Thank you for your time, sir", and heads back off toward the stall with the mortally offended new-agers that freaked out when you JUST ASKED QUESTIONS and made you spill your coffee, and you realize that YOU aren't the one getting the hickory migraine.

And THAT is fucking ENLIGHTENMENT.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.