SCIENCE OF ATTRACTING BEAUTIFUL LADIES

[PANGO!]

LOOK, FAILURE. YOU TRY TO GET WOMEN, BUT ALL YOU GET IS CALLOUSED FIST. YOU DO NOT NO SECRET OF CATCHING LADIES! YOU ARE LIKE SUPERHERO BUT ONLY MAGIC POWER IS INCREDIBLE WANK STAMINA. YOU WANT HELP? DR. PANGO WILL HELP.

NOW, IS TIME FOR REMOVE SHEEPSKIN CONDOM AND FUCK LIKE REAL MAN. BE LIKE DR. PANGO. HE IS REAL MAN. PANGO SHIT THE GOLDEN TURDS WITH DIAMOND CORN. PANGO PISS AXE BODY SPRAY. THE WOMEN SWOON AND FAINT LIKE NARCOLEPTICS ON ROOFIES. DR. PANGO IS INCREDIBLE CHICK MAGNET.

I SPEND MANY YEARS IN NATIVE COUNTRY AS GYNAECOLOGIST. HERE IS BENEFIT OF THESE EXPERIENCE FOR YOUR USE IN WORLD OF DATING WOMEN.

1. WOMAN IS ANIMAL LIKE BANSHEE. VERY CRAFTY. VERY QUICK. BEST WAY TO WOMAN'S AFFECTION IS THROUGH USE OF DEADLY TRAP. WHEN SETTING TRAP, USE BAIT THAT SMELLS LIKE WEAKNESS (WOMEN LOVE TO PREYING ON WEAKNESS). DR. PANGO SUGGEST HEART OF PIMPLY FRY COOK. IF LOCAL LAW DISALLOW THIS, THEN USE PERSONAL INJURY LAWYER. DR. PANGO DO NOT KNOW OF ANY JURISDICTION WHERE SACRIFICE OF SUCH SWINE IS ILLEGAL. PLACE HEART IN CENTER OF TRAP AND COVER WITH ROSE PETALS. WOMEN WILL SMELL AND COME RUNNING. FIRST WENCH INTO TRAP IS YOURS! TAKE CARE NOT TO SLICE VALUABLE PARTS.

2. MANY WOMEN WILL BE ATTRACT TO MAN WHO SMELL LIKE THE FISH. IS TRUE. IS WHY YOU HEAR OF SHORTAGE IN PROFESSIONS LIKE DOCTOR, LAWYER, TEACHER, BUT NEVER HEAR "NOT ENOUGH FISHERMEN FOR MAKING THE FISHING." FISHERMEN UP TO ELBOWS IN TUNA. SO, BUY DOKTOR PANGO #44 FISH OIL BODY WAX. WILL MAKE THE WOMEN CRAZY FOR YOUR NARWHAL TUSK.

3. DR. PANGO FIND ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO MAKE THE WOMAN LOVE YOU IS TO BE REJECTED BY HER, THEN SEND HER AN ASSHOLE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH AND GROW TO HATE OVER TIME, THEN REAPPEAR IN HER LIFE SUDDENLY AND TALK ABOUT YOUR PENIS. IS EFFECTIVE 100% OF THE TIME WITH UP TO 90% OF WOMEN.

4. AT CLUBS, BEST METHOD OF CATCHING FEMALE HUMAN IS BY PATENTED DR. PANGO "SLIDE TECHNIQUE." IN THIS TECHNIQUE, YOU TELL WOMAN FLATTERING THING ABOUT SHOES OR PURSE, THEN QUIETLY SLIDE 4 TO 6 ROOFIES TABLETS INTO HER DRINK. SHE WILL EVENTUALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH SHE WILL BE UNABLE TO BEAR IT, AND FAINT. AT THIS POINT, PUT WOMAN IN SACK AND REMOVE FROM CLUB.

5. MANY MEN ASK DR. PANGO, 'WHY AM I TERRIBLE WITH THE LADIES?' WELL, TERRIBLENESS WITH LADIES IS CAUSED BY BELIEVING YOU ARE TERRIBLE. WOMEN RESPOND TO THE CONFIDENCE AND THE CHARISMA OF A MAN WHO DO NOT CARE WHETHER SHE RESPOND OR NOT. IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT. IN THIS WAY YOU TRICK MURPHY'S LAW INTO WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.

6. WOMEN ARE INCREDIBLY BORED BY NUMBERED LISTS. JUST POINTING THIS OUT.

7. EXCEPT WHEN NUMBERED LIST INVOLVE SHOES. FOR THIS REASON,

8. ????

9. YOU KNOW WHAT GOES HERE, DOG.

[Lies]

I thoroughly approve and endorse everything in this thread.

[slothrop23]

i'm going to put this to work right away

[P3nT4gR4m]

IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT. IN THIS WAY YOU TRICK MURPHY'S LAW INTO WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.

Genius! 

[East Coast Hustle]

He's like the bastard love child of Enrico Salazar and GIGGLES.

[Telarus]

IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT. IN THIS WAY YOU TRICK MURPHY'S LAW INTO WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.

Genius! 

This is the trick behind 90% of 'popular' modern occult techniques.

No, really.

See also: Buddhism, Jainism,  Sufism (any path that teaches how to qwell 'attachment'/obsession-cravings).



"You want to stop Wanting?" says the Guru..

"Well...

IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT."

He then hits you in the face with a fish or something, and the session is over.



Oh. Freudians also get one random couch.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

THANK YOU FOR THE PINEAL GLAND HERNIA, BUT I ALREADY HAVE SCIENTIFICALLY ATTRACTED A LADY OF THE BEAUTIFUL VARIETY.

[-Kel-]

Thank you, now I can divorce my husband and get that little lady i've been wanting all these years.

[Doktor Howl]

Vintage Pango.