ATTENTION, SPAGLORDS

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I JUST LOOKED AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND I LOOK FUCKING FANTASTIC. I SAID, "WHY HELLO, SCIENTIST!" AND THEN I BOUGHT MYSELF A BEER. JUST LOOK AT THAT GODDAMN HAIR, IT'S SO PERFECT I COULD CRY.

ANSWER ME THIS: I HAVE BEEN TRYING NOT TO SMOKE MUCH, BUT I THINK I COULD SCORE POINTS AND MAYBE EVEN GET ME TO SIT ALONE ON THE PORCH WITH MYSELF IF I OFFER ME A CIGARETTE. AND ONCE I'M ALONE ON THE PORCH WITH ME, I AM PRETTY SURE I COULD MAKE A MOVE AND MAYBE EVEN END UP GOING UPSTAIRS AND SPENDING THE NIGHT.

DO I RISK IT?

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I RECOMMEND THE VERSION OF THIS WHERE YOU SUCCEED IN NOT SMOKING.

[Freeky]

IM PRETTY SURE YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO LIGHT UP, BECAUSE SHE DIGS YOU ANYWAY.  DUDE, TOTALLY GO FOR IT!

[Salty]

TAKE HER UPSTAIRS AND THEN TO THE WALL AND RIGHT BACK AND THEN TO THE WALL AGAIN UNTIL SHE SAYS STOP.

SHE WON'T, TRUST ME.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

TAKE HER UPSTAIRS AND THEN TO THE WALL AND RIGHT BACK AND THEN TO THE WALL AGAIN UNTIL SHE SAYS STOP.

SHE WON'T, TRUST ME.

HOLY SHIT WE COULD BOTH END UP DEAD

BUT IN THE MEANTIME I'M WATCHING MYSELF BAKE BREAD, HOT DAMN I AM SO AWESOME I THINK I HAVE A TOTAL CRUSH.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

IM PRETTY SURE YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO LIGHT UP, BECAUSE SHE DIGS YOU ANYWAY.  DUDE, TOTALLY GO FOR IT!

DO YOU THINK SO? BECAUSE FUCK, THAT MINISKIRT AND THOSE BOOTS ARE DRIVING ME WILD.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I RECOMMEND THE VERSION OF THIS WHERE YOU SUCCEED IN NOT SMOKING.

YEAH, MAYBE ME BUT WHAT ABOUT MYSELF? ALSO I AM ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING SMOKERS WHO SMOKES MAYBE PACK A MONTH SO IT ALWAYS GIVES ME A CRAZY HEAD RUSH AND THEN I HAVE TO GO RIGHT TO BED, AND SINCE I'M TRYING TO GET INTO MY PANTS I THINK THAT COULD WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I RECOMMEND THE VERSION OF THIS WHERE YOU SUCCEED IN NOT SMOKING.

YEAH, MAYBE ME BUT WHAT ABOUT MYSELF? ALSO I AM ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING SMOKERS WHO SMOKES MAYBE PACK A MONTH SO IT ALWAYS GIVES ME A CRAZY HEAD RUSH AND THEN I HAVE TO GO RIGHT TO BED, AND SINCE I'M TRYING TO GET INTO MY PANTS I THINK THAT COULD WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET YOURSELF DRUNK INSTEAD. AND LIVESTREAM IT FOR US.

[Freeky]

IM PRETTY SURE YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO LIGHT UP, BECAUSE SHE DIGS YOU ANYWAY.  DUDE, TOTALLY GO FOR IT!

DO YOU THINK SO? BECAUSE FUCK, THAT MINISKIRT AND THOSE BOOTS ARE DRIVING ME WILD.

DUDE, I KNOW IT.  SHE TOLD ME.  SHE IS SOOO INTO YOU.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I RECOMMEND THE VERSION OF THIS WHERE YOU SUCCEED IN NOT SMOKING.

YEAH, MAYBE ME BUT WHAT ABOUT MYSELF? ALSO I AM ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING SMOKERS WHO SMOKES MAYBE PACK A MONTH SO IT ALWAYS GIVES ME A CRAZY HEAD RUSH AND THEN I HAVE TO GO RIGHT TO BED, AND SINCE I'M TRYING TO GET INTO MY PANTS I THINK THAT COULD WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET YOURSELF DRUNK INSTEAD. AND LIVESTREAM IT FOR US.

I WAS SO EXCITED BY THE BREAD THAT I BOUGHT ME ANOTHER BEER, AND NOW I AM PRETTY TIPSY SO I THINK MY CHANCES LOOK REALLY GOOD, BUT I AM CONCERNED THAT IF I AM DRUNK I MIGHT NOT LEGALLY BE ABLE TO GIVE CONSENT TO MYSELF.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

IM PRETTY SURE YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO LIGHT UP, BECAUSE SHE DIGS YOU ANYWAY.  DUDE, TOTALLY GO FOR IT!

DO YOU THINK SO? BECAUSE FUCK, THAT MINISKIRT AND THOSE BOOTS ARE DRIVING ME WILD.

DUDE, I KNOW IT.  SHE TOLD ME.  SHE IS SOOO INTO YOU.

OH SHIT I NEED TO STOP BEING SHY AND JUST GO FOR IT!

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I RECOMMEND THE VERSION OF THIS WHERE YOU SUCCEED IN NOT SMOKING.

YEAH, MAYBE ME BUT WHAT ABOUT MYSELF? ALSO I AM ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING SMOKERS WHO SMOKES MAYBE PACK A MONTH SO IT ALWAYS GIVES ME A CRAZY HEAD RUSH AND THEN I HAVE TO GO RIGHT TO BED, AND SINCE I'M TRYING TO GET INTO MY PANTS I THINK THAT COULD WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET YOURSELF DRUNK INSTEAD. AND LIVESTREAM IT FOR US.

I WAS SO EXCITED BY THE BREAD THAT I BOUGHT ME ANOTHER BEER, AND NOW I AM PRETTY TIPSY SO I THINK MY CHANCES LOOK REALLY GOOD, BUT I AM CONCERNED THAT IF I AM DRUNK I MIGHT NOT LEGALLY BE ABLE TO GIVE CONSENT TO MYSELF.

I lol'd so hard at this.

[minuspace]

That is one fine lady that is.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

 

*this made my morning*

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]