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How I Use Australians to Deal With Stress

Started by Doktor Howl, March 06, 2012, 09:42:39 PM

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Doktor Howl

Whenever I see a newsproduct story or a popculture item which disturbs or fascinates me and I don't want to waste hours or days of my life thinking, talking, being outraged, or debating about it with others, I just say to myself, "What if it was Australian?"  Then I simply can't take it seriously.  Teenage boys aping the attire and mannerisms of criminals?  If they were Australian, I would realize it's all pretend.  Offensive antics of the latest popstar or film performer?  If they were Australian I would realize they were entirely manufactured as a media product and have no connection at all with reality.  Newsproduct monopoly of magazines and television with the grisly details of the "terrible ordeal" of some child somewhere on the opposite side of the continent?  If it were a story from Australian I wouldn't care. Political drama? When I see an Australian cabinet minister apologizing or resigning I don't give a damn.

I don't imagine the audience in their underwear, I imagine them all as Australians.

Molon Lube

Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Doktor Howl

Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 06, 2012, 09:45:44 PM
This might actually work for me...

You just have to remember that they're upside down, so they have even worse post-nasal drip than we get.
Molon Lube

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 06, 2012, 09:46:18 PM
Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 06, 2012, 09:45:44 PM
This might actually work for me...

You just have to remember that they're upside down, so they have even worse post-nasal drip than we get.

Oh, that might be problematic for me.

Twid,
physical symptoms of nerddom
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Doktor Howl

Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 06, 2012, 09:49:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 06, 2012, 09:46:18 PM
Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 06, 2012, 09:45:44 PM
This might actually work for me...

You just have to remember that they're upside down, so they have even worse post-nasal drip than we get.

Oh, that might be problematic for me.

Twid,
physical symptoms of nerddom

Why?  You're not the bastard walking around upside down just to show off. 
Molon Lube

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 06, 2012, 09:49:57 PM
Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 06, 2012, 09:49:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 06, 2012, 09:46:18 PM
Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 06, 2012, 09:45:44 PM
This might actually work for me...

You just have to remember that they're upside down, so they have even worse post-nasal drip than we get.

Oh, that might be problematic for me.

Twid,
physical symptoms of nerddom

Why?  You're not the bastard walking around upside down just to show off.

Fair. Plus they drink tea and show off their knives.

Oh, and they don't know what cocaine is, if I remember Crocodile Dundee right.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Doktor Howl

Heh.

Anyway, this place is dead as a stone today, so I'm gonna git.
Molon Lube

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 06, 2012, 09:57:10 PM
Heh.

Anyway, this place is dead as a stone today, so I'm gonna git.

I tried. Anyway, I should be focusing on the folk stuff and that one Thin Lizzy song. I don't got much time left.

Honestly, I should rotate this stuff into warm up practice. That way next year I don't have to spaz out like a slacker before finals.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Deepthroat Chopra

You should post this on an Australian politics message board somewhere, and see the apologetic, jingoistic, defensive and ignorant responses. Generally speaking, we take ourselves far too seriously for a place that keeps subjecting our cultural identity to a series of poorly implemented copies of other places in the world.

Like, our pollies keep talking about getting a seat on the UN security council, because we're convinced we "punch above our weight". How grovelling at the feets of the British, then the yanks, and now likely the Chinese, gives us that idea escapes me.
Chainsaw-Wielding Fistula Detector

Q. G. Pennyworth

Anyone who can live on an island made of poison kinda has to think of themselves as supernaturally badass, I would think.

Deepthroat Chopra

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 06, 2012, 11:33:36 PM
Anyone who can live on an island made of poison kinda has to think of themselves as supernaturally badass, I would think.

"made of poison"?

I thought my white ancestors brought the poison. Could you please clarify?

British nuclear testing? Over-use of DDT? Introduction of Cane Toads? What?

Chainsaw-Wielding Fistula Detector

AnnaMaeBollocks

Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 07, 2012, 12:16:00 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 06, 2012, 11:33:36 PM
Anyone who can live on an island made of poison kinda has to think of themselves as supernaturally badass, I would think.

"made of poison"?

I thought my white ancestors brought the poison. Could you please clarify?

British nuclear testing? Over-use of DDT? Introduction of Cane Toads? What?

Olivia Newton John.

Deepthroat Chopra

Quote from: AnnaMaeBollocks on March 07, 2012, 12:19:14 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 07, 2012, 12:16:00 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 06, 2012, 11:33:36 PM
Anyone who can live on an island made of poison kinda has to think of themselves as supernaturally badass, I would think.

"made of poison"?

I thought my white ancestors brought the poison. Could you please clarify?

British nuclear testing? Over-use of DDT? Introduction of Cane Toads? What?

Olivia Newton John.

Ha! Amerika STILL love her! And the British love our stupid soaps.

For every Newton John here though, there's a hundred Jessica Simpson's over there.
Chainsaw-Wielding Fistula Detector

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 07, 2012, 12:16:00 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 06, 2012, 11:33:36 PM
Anyone who can live on an island made of poison kinda has to think of themselves as supernaturally badass, I would think.

"made of poison"?

I thought my white ancestors brought the poison. Could you please clarify?

British nuclear testing? Over-use of DDT? Introduction of Cane Toads? What?
blue ring octopus
every snake
box jellyfish
stone fish
red back spider
funnel web spider
platypuses...

Deepthroat Chopra

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 07, 2012, 12:42:48 AM
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on March 07, 2012, 12:16:00 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 06, 2012, 11:33:36 PM
Anyone who can live on an island made of poison kinda has to think of themselves as supernaturally badass, I would think.

"made of poison"?

I thought my white ancestors brought the poison. Could you please clarify?

British nuclear testing? Over-use of DDT? Introduction of Cane Toads? What?
blue ring octopus
every snake
box jellyfish
stone fish
red back spider
funnel web spider
platypuses...

Ah. Thanks. Yes, the most poisonous snakes on the planet. But we have many pythons too, just to be pedantic - not poisonous. Thankful we don't have Komodo Dragons and Killer bees.

But yes, even so, we have poisoned this continent ourselves (well, we blame the British mostly) more in the past couple of hundred years than all those animals combined.
Chainsaw-Wielding Fistula Detector