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This Is The Kind Of Shit I LIVE FOR Department

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 02, 2004, 08:42:41 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

Condom Leaves Bad Taste In Senator's Mouth

Illinois Has Spent $115,000 On Condoms

Nov 1, 2004 9:22 am US/Central
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (AP) A state senator in Springfield says he is surprised and dismayed to learn that the state has been giving away brightly colored and fruit-flavored condoms as part of a campaign to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

Since January, the Illinois Department of Public Health has spent $115,000 in federal money on condoms to be distributed at public health clinics.

State Senator Steve Rauschenberger, an Elgin Republican, said he was annoyed to learn that 910 thousand of the condoms are orange, green, red and blue, and that 360 thousand of them come in such flavors as orange, lemon, grape and cherry.


What?  He wanted strawberry?


" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

namu

We can't have the vulgus *SHOCK* enjoy *ARGH* intercourse, now, shall we ?
Namu the Maxwell Angel
--
United we stand, divided we run free at last !

CannedLizard

Damn those kids! If they want to have oral sex then they'll do it with ORDINARY CONDOMS, DAMMIT!
POEE Pre-Chaplain Neon Irwin of the Bahumbug Pre-Cabal, CG, UE, KoBaSN

Shaitan5

Yes!! no fruity flavors... just good ole rubber taste.
What's REALLY going on?

B23.77

We don't need to be wasting valuable condoms on a bunch of horny teenagers.  We need new, more, and better Ken and Barbies with life sized interactive nipples.

DJRubberducky

Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerCondom Leaves Bad Taste In Senator's Mouth
Ew, they must have been the ones with *powdered* flavoring.  Those things are *nasty*!
- DJRubberducky
Quote from: LMNODJ's post is sort of like those pills you drop into a glass of water, and they expand into a dinosaur, or something.

Black sheep are still sheep.

agent compassion

I like the cola flavored ones, personally....

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon


EraPassing

I remember an episode of Real Sex, on HBO, where they were reviewing these latex sex dolls that are terribly expensive, but really life-like (they said).
They were also expensive as hell, because the makers cutomized each one.  If you want a blonde, brunette, redhead, with green, brown, or blue eyes - you got it.

They scared me, actually.  I mean, their "tongues" were hanging out between their "lips" just a little, they had glassy eyes, and they looked... like dead chicks, you know?  
Life like?  Dead-like, yeah.
And they were heavy to move, which just furthered the illusion of a necrophiliac's wetdream..

I thought yall would like to know that.
Elves suck.
Yeah, I said it, I went there.  Whatcha gonna do?

gnimbley

I saw one of those. They had two women playing with a male doll. They
seemed to be pretending to have a good time. Probably one of the
reasons I don't watch TV anymore.

EraPassing

The male dolls were even worse!
They weren't even attempting to look life-like, they were really big Ken dolls, but with removable playparts.


Edit: a few modifications would have made them a lot more interesting.
Elves suck.
Yeah, I said it, I went there.  Whatcha gonna do?

SMFabal

SMFabal, High Pope of CoCK, PSP, CW, KSC, FP, GH, MORBJ

Q: How serious are you about this whole "Discordian" thing?
A: A blue fish Tuesday!
Q: No really, it this, like, deeply philosphical, or just a huge joke?
A: Yes.

Bella

How do you always know where to find everything, Fabal?
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Malaul

If it deals with Sex , this man is the one to ask
Coito ergo sum
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  --Comedian Chris Rock

CannedLizard

Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomHow do you always know where to find everything, Fabal?

The sad thing is that I knew the site, and decided that I would post it noone else knew it :P
POEE Pre-Chaplain Neon Irwin of the Bahumbug Pre-Cabal, CG, UE, KoBaSN

Das Raddiche

only time ive used a condom in oral sex was with a mexican whore in nuevo laredo and that was for my protection. muahahahhaha

otherwise thats just stupid during all of high school condoms were only used for regular sex.

oral sex with a condom is like dry humping .......useless except for forplay reasons


"The revolution will not be televised"   --Gil Scott Heron