Riddle me this PD...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Jewish Rye, because Reubens.

?

[Cainad (dec.)]

Jewish Rye, because Reubens.

?

Well, if you leave it on the griddle for too long, then yeah.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Jewish Rye, because Reubens.

?

Well, if you leave it on the griddle for too long, then yeah.

[Eater of Clowns]

Dwarven Battle Bread.

Why?  I don't need a why.  I'M DWARVEN BATTLE BREAD.

You've reduced yourself to RA SAlvatore? 

NO.  YOU ARE BETTER.

Salvatore?  I was going for Pratchett!   

[navkat]

Whitebread because it works hard, pays its dues, and deserves some GOD DAMNED RESPECT.

Fucking hell. 

[navkat]

BAGEL

Because Holey shit, I'm tasty!.

Schmear some cream cheese all up on that bitch, y0. Bacon and chive or green olive like a mufugga.

If were a bread, I would be a freshly-baked french baguette: taken for granted because it's such a classic, she's a shapeshifter of the bread world. You can dress her up and take her to the finest parties among kings and queens or treat her simply with tea and butter or brie in the park, toes in the cool grass, lost in a book.

When she gets a little older, you can toast her with wine and bruschetta and I do believe she adds body and substance to all your dinners when she's at her finest.

But best of all, no one sees it coming when she knocks the wind out of some poor schlub for saying something stupid.

[Freeky]

BAGEL

Because Holey shit, I'm tasty!.

Schmear some cream cheese all up on that bitch, y0. Bacon and chive or green olive like a mufugga.

If I were a bread, would be a freshly-baked french baguette: taken for granted because it's such a classic, she's a shapeshifter of the bread world. You can dress her up and take her to the finest parties among kings and queens or treat her simply with tea and butter or brie in the park, toes in the cool grass, lost in a book.

When she gets a little older, you can toast her with wine and bruschetta and I do believe she adds body and substance to all your dinners when she's at her finest.

But best of all, no one sees it coming when she knocks the wind out of some poor schlub for saying something stupid.

  Nice.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

BAGEL

Because Holey shit, I'm tasty!.

Schmear some cream cheese all up on that bitch, y0. Bacon and chive or green olive like a mufugga.

If were a bread, I would be a freshly-baked french baguette: taken for granted because it's such a classic, she's a shapeshifter of the bread world. You can dress her up and take her to the finest parties among kings and queens or treat her simply with tea and butter or brie in the park, toes in the cool grass, lost in a book.

When she gets a little older, you can toast her with wine and bruschetta and I do believe she adds body and substance to all your dinners when she's at her finest.

But best of all, no one sees it coming when she knocks the wind out of some poor schlub for saying something stupid.

You're hired.

[Richter]

 

In event of another one of my absences, see Navkat for necessary HOLY.

[Richter]

Bread?  I AM FRENCH BREAD.  Why?  Because French bread is good with butter, and my legs are like buttah, so it follows that I am French bread.  QED.

KYFTB. 

French bread is MY answer. 
Classy AND functional.
Works hot or cold.
Long, and hard, to the point of weaponization.

[Richter]

I'd be a soup dumpling. That counts, right?

It counts, sure.

With yuor job you're afloat in a salty medium anyways, and deceptively white, so it's even appropriate.
Little do they know this is a bread that will RISE from the soup, stomp the salad, jack up the asparagrus for it's GWAR tickets, and sweet talk the salmon into a night of carnal fun.
Who served or plated all that together anyways?
Sure as fuck wasn't the dumpling.

[navkat]

If I were a French baguette, I would call you mon petit dumpling. 

[Richter]

Banana Bread, because it's fucking awesome.

I wake up, drink ludicrous amounts of jack daniels, look at myself in the mirror and ask

"What would banana bread do today?"


So it's pretty much pinball and hookers every day. It's actually gotten pretty...ehem...stale.

You're already going where you need to be going.

You know the best way to prep banannas for this bread?
When your bannannas go black, freeze them.  Then thaw, hold over the bowl, and snip off the tip.  The contents of the bannanna will fall, bowel control loss like, into the bowl.
For added effect, give an interloper a meaningful look while doing so.  Remember that FReud was right on some accounts.

[East Coast Hustle]

tangentially relevant to last post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g8rlFP0J8c

not really work safe (audio content, no graphic visual content).

[Richter]

tangentially relevant to last post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g8rlFP0J8c

not really work safe (audio content, no graphic visual content).

"Limp wristed boy can't be arsed to relate to humanity.  Ruins produce, can't tear duct tape.  Schoolchildren emulate and acquire 3rd degree burns to groin.  Film at 11"