Gremlins

[Doktor Howl]

It takes a rational man to believe in gremlins.  Current scientific thinking states that such creatures most probably do not exist, and therefore most people believe they don't.  But, when looked at objectively, a world without gremlins leaves entirely too many unanswered questions.

"Why did this machine, which just passed a rigorous inspection, suddenly and catastrophically fail?"

"Why is there a disproportionate number of breakdowns on the weekend?"

"Why do I get so many bad parts brand new out of the box?"

"Why do failures always happen when nobody is present?"

I'm forming a hypothesis that WWII aviators were in fact correct, and that little green men are fucking with my plant...And my house (a shelving unit collapsed AFTER we unloaded it to pack).  I have nothing but statistical weirdness to point at the existence of these creatures, of course, and other hypothesises are possible.  "Tucson", for example.

But Tucson doesn't explain why - no matter WHERE you are - if you only buy one oil seal, you will ruin it during installation...But if you buy two, the first one goes in slicker than goose shit.

So, for the moment, I'm going with both ideas.  Little green men in Tucson, fucking with my shit.  I should lay traps for the little bastards.  Or are you supposed to leave a saucer of milk out?  Can somebody who's full of Irish explain the protocol to me?

Thanks.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Gremlins arent ours i dont think. I dont know the proper method of placating them. I recommend trapping and releasing in other peoples machinery.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

They're probably working for Tuscon. The trapped souls of captured retirees.
Fuck milk, catch 'em with bourbon.

[East Coast Hustle]

Gremlins aren't Irish, they're probably Russian. Those bastards have twisted sense of humor, especially when it comes to engineering.