Funny or Die on the GOP war on women.

[Doktor Howl]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/87be7156f5/republicans-get-in-my-vagina?rel=player

Sorry for the spoilers, but these lines were too funny not to repeat:

"What do real Republican women want from their government? I don't want government in my banks. I don't want government in my classrooms. Where do I want government? In my vagina!"

"Look, I make big decisions all day. And now the Democrats want me to make even more?!"

"Who are you going to listen to? Your doctor? Or a Republican? Don't you want someone like your dad in your vagina?"

[Don Coyote]

 

[Phox]

Hot damn! I'm sold. 

[navkat]

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

"What do real Republican women want from their government? I don't want government in my banks. I don't want government in my classrooms. Where do I want government? In my vagina!"

I wish I could write jokes like that. Made my day.

[Forsooth]

"My right to choose? What about my right to choose to not have a choice?"

if this keeps up they're gonna revoke that right, and all women will have to show up to a nearby Department of Female Vaginas (DMF) when they first have their period,
stand in a line for an hour or so, and they will be given their official stance on Vagina to them by government officials.

Deviating from their government sponsored opinion will result in verbal warnings, forced viewing of CSPAN, and eventually a embargo(s) of certain goods and services (re: internet, certain TV networks, dessert substances etc.)

changing one's opinion can only be accomplished with a Change of Opinion (Vaginal) form,
it takes 2 months to process and must be accompanied by:

1. letters of recommendation from 2 separate medical doctors (from an approved formulary list, of course)
2. letter of recommendation from your church's pastor (don't have one? outta luck)
3. and sizable donations to their district's current representatives

[navkat]

Here's the deal: No matter what the fuck is going on in the world, nothing, no piece of legislation will ever, ever, ever (or ever again) use the following words in its name or acronym:
vagina (or any body part), restrictions/restricted, failing/failed, weapon, repair, secrecy, bailout, allocating, controlling, taking, granting or removing.

This isn't new, read Orwell.

The  Restricting Access to Women's Reproductive Services (RAWRS) act becomes the "Delegating Interventions for Able Families" (DIAF) act.

Bankers Absorbing Redistributed Funds (BARF) becomes Securing USA's Capitalist Readiness (SUCR)...and there's one born every minute.

This is why I hate all these stupidly named bills, complete with several hundred-thousand-dollar signing parties signed into law with a pen which, after the contracted event planner, subcontracted furnishings acquirement team, six different sub-subcontracted scenery research consultants in charge of a sub-sub-subcontracted pen safety consultant...and her assistant, an image management firm, a team of six, hand-picked, multicultural laborers (all of them combined making less than the assistant has in her yearly expense account) and a nervous intern to test an entire flat of them for the three best-functioning, most photogenic ones costs $8,000 in taxpayer money all to sign something into law that sweepingly reverses 98% of the "protections" put in place after the TARP debacle in the name of creating "Jobs."

Yeah, and the "Ministry of Peace" is wants nothing more than to avoid war with Eastasia.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

The Stephen Freind quote in the video makes me want to beat my head off a wall. What is it with Pennsylvania's Republicans trying to hard to be crowned Biggest Dumbass Of All?

"The traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to secrete a certain secretion that tends to kill sperm."

What the fucking fuck? That's your justification for making abortions illegal and restricting birth control?

[navkat]

   

The Stephen Freind quote in the video makes me want to beat my head off a wall. What is it with Pennsylvania's Republicans trying to hard to be crowned Biggest Dumbass Of All? "The traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to secrete a certain secretion that tends to kill sperm." What the fucking fuck? That's your justification for making abortions illegal and restricting birth control? It just highlights that there are still men in this world who think of women as nasty, evil creatures with strange and creepy toxin-producing reproductive parts, necessary only as vessels of progeny. EW. Women are intended as loyal creatures to comfort the man in his castle...definitely above the dog but somewhat below the male children. But she'd better mind that stinkhole. There's just something unclean about that thing.

[Head]

"The traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to secrete a certain secretion that tends to kill sperm."

The best part about that remark is that nobody really said it.

Unless..... I'm on that other planet again..... Dammit! Why does that keep happening?!!!!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

   

The Stephen Freind quote in the video makes me want to beat my head off a wall. What is it with Pennsylvania's Republicans trying to hard to be crowned Biggest Dumbass Of All? "The traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to secrete a certain secretion that tends to kill sperm." What the fucking fuck? That's your justification for making abortions illegal and restricting birth control? It just highlights that there are still men in this world who think of women as nasty, evil creatures with strange and creepy toxin-producing reproductive parts, necessary only as vessels of progeny. EW. Women are intended as loyal creatures to comfort the man in his castle...definitely above the dog but somewhat below the male children. But she'd better mind that stinkhole. There's just something unclean about that thing.

Which is why I convince my boyfriends early on that there are tentacles just waiting to tickle the head of their penis during intercourse should they step out of line. Lysol won't kill the creature, just make it angry . . . :P