More FACTS

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In other news, I'm going to destroy all of your childhoods¹...For SCIENCE!







¹  May not apply to people born after the paleolithic era.

The sad thing is, it's not only funnier but probably makes more sense than whatever it originally said.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

In other news, I'm going to destroy all of your childhoods¹...For SCIENCE!







¹  May not apply to people born after the paleolithic era.

The sad thing is, it's not only funnier but probably makes more sense than whatever it originally said.

Dogpeen.

I always wondered how that kids eye got put out.

[Doktor Howl]

FACT:  I can yell "WAKE UP, YOU FOOLS!" in my sleep.

[Phox]

FACT: Coyote is actually the incarnation of an ancient fertility god. His massive phallus, mammary glands, and horns remain tactfully hidden.

[Cainad (dec.)]

FACT: Dok Howl is the only person in the world required to have a hazard diamond tattooed on his body. His is also the only known hazard diamond to have a rating of 7 for Health Hazard.

[Doktor Howl]

FACT: Dok Howl is the only person in the world required to have a hazard diamond tattooed on his body. His is also the only known hazard diamond to have a rating of 7 for Health Hazard.

Joke's on OSHA, though.

Nobody can see the tattoo because of hair, so I get to spread my lovin' anyway.

[Doktor Howl]

FACT:  Nigel bungee jumps using concertina wire as a bungee.

[Freeky]

FACT:  Nigel bungee jumps using concertina wire as a bungee.

FACT: She also sometimes uses the intestines of hipsters.

[Doktor Howl]

FACT:  I am the most TOLERANT, KINDLY, CHARITABLE AND COMPASSIONATE motherfucker that ever lived so SHUT UP.  I call them as I see them and if they look like sacks of puke and smell like sacks of puke then sacks of puke they are, and I DO mean YOU.  But that doesn't mean I don't have endless compassion for you.  Fuckers.

[Cainad (dec.)]

FACT:  I am the most TOLERANT, KINDLY, CHARITABLE AND COMPASSIONATE motherfucker that ever lived so SHUT UP.  I call them as I see them and if they look like sacks of puke and smell like sacks of puke then sacks of puke they are, and I DO mean YOU.  But that doesn't mean I don't have endless compassion for you.  Fuckers.

Proof of the above: Just yesterday, I personally was doing like I do as if it was no big thing at all, and Dok didn't hit me with the orbital laser cannon. The restraint and reserve necessary for that is unparalleled.

[Doktor Howl]

FACT:  I am the most TOLERANT, KINDLY, CHARITABLE AND COMPASSIONATE motherfucker that ever lived so SHUT UP.  I call them as I see them and if they look like sacks of puke and smell like sacks of puke then sacks of puke they are, and I DO mean YOU.  But that doesn't mean I don't have endless compassion for you.  Fuckers.

Proof of the above: Just yesterday, I personally was doing like I do as if it was no big thing at all, and Dok didn't hit me with the orbital laser cannon. The restraint and reserve necessary for that is unparalleled.

That, or the main breaker tripped¹.  One or the other.




¹  Because, as we know, EVERYTHING DEFAULTS TO MAIN.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

SCRIPTURE!

[Phox]

FACT: Cainad's facial hair has been featured in more episodes of America's Most Wanted than John Walsh.

[Doktor Howl]

FACT:  Discordianism is an allergic reaction to the excesses of the 21^st century.  Like most allergic reactions, it actually does more damage than the condition it's reacting to.

[Freeky]

FACT:  Discordianism is an allergic reaction to the excesses of the 21^st century.  Like most allergic reactions, it actually does more damage than the condition it's reacting to.

This has some actual truth in it.