First World Idiocy

[Freeky]

What?  That doesn't even make any sense.

For real, I can't even parse what's going on in that situation.

That's not to say I don't believe it happened, though.

They ordered decaffienated coffee, then didn't stay awake while at work. So clearly it is the fault of the coffee shop.

D: Head asplode guy is gone!

[Salty]

She is blond, short, in her early forties, and one fella described her as "stone cold fox". I can see what he means but she's definitely not my type, or rather, she's one of those fucking people.

With a solemn glare around the room she says:

Do you have any idea how much data people are using?
Have you seen these data points from our leadership?
Over 20,000% increase in data usage over the last five years.
You need to sell the top tier data package.
It's the right thing to do.
It's the right thing to do.
It's the right thing to do.
It's the right thing to do.

Actually...actually, no. The RIGHT thing to do would be to explain to customers that unless you desire to tether your data plan there is, for intensely undeniable mathematical reasons that a glue-huffing 2nd grader could work out for themselves, no reason whatsoever to get that plan. PERIOD

The RIGHT THING TO DO is for you to STFU for fucking ever.

The trouble is I love actually doing my job. But those words keep pounding through my head. All those words are wrong, man. Those words come from the mind of one of those large ticks that feeds off the remaining scraps that haven't been corralled into total and complete poverty, and they're laughing about it. Even worse, THEY STILL THINK THE AMERICAN DREAM EXISTS. These people believe their bullshit 169%. And this one is trying to fuck individual people over whenever and wherever possible. Those hideous words *shudder*.

And let me make one thing positively clear: There are THOUSANDS of people getting fed the same lines, and I'm going to assume that most of them do not try to pick the locks in their own brains.

[Doktor Howl]

The trouble is I love actually doing my job. But those words keep pounding through my head. All those words are wrong, man. Those words come from the mind of one of those large ticks that feeds off the remaining scraps that haven't been corralled into total and complete poverty, and they're laughing about it. Even worse, THEY STILL THINK THE AMERICAN DREAM EXISTS. These people believe their bullshit 169%. And this one is trying to fuck individual people over whenever and wherever possible. Those hideous words *shudder*.

Hey, fucker, if they can't have the house and the white picket fence and two cars and 2.5 kids, they can AT LEAST have UNLIMITED DATA.

Otherwise, they may as well be children in Africa.

[Don Coyote]

The trouble is I love actually doing my job. But those words keep pounding through my head. All those words are wrong, man. Those words come from the mind of one of those large ticks that feeds off the remaining scraps that haven't been corralled into total and complete poverty, and they're laughing about it. Even worse, THEY STILL THINK THE AMERICAN DREAM EXISTS. These people believe their bullshit 169%. And this one is trying to fuck individual people over whenever and wherever possible. Those hideous words *shudder*.

Hey, fucker, if they can't have the house and the white picket fence and two cars and 2.5 kids, they can AT LEAST have UNLIMITED DATA.

Otherwise, they may as well be children in Africa.

:requia:
Actually I think children in Africa can get UNLIMITED DATA. So the only thing they have to look forward to is that 2.5 children and the 4wheel drive stationwagon with a big screen in it.

[Head]

This! I look around me and all I see is weakness. I'm patiently waiting for some cataclysm, Supermarkets running out of Ugg boots, a power cut, drought, famine, X-factor cancelled... Anything where the ones who are capable of wiping their own arses can kick back and laugh at them all dying.

I don't even see this as misanthropy any more, I have so little in common with them, it's almost as if they're a whole different species. An unfit one, if Darwin is to be believed.

You and I undoubtedly share the same genes, you'll be pleased to know. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The reason people want UNLIMITED DATA

is probably because, like me, they were told by the jerk at the store that "nobody ever goes over"

and then found that they were going over every fucking month and paying an extra $15 for something that, when they originally signed up before they got the new phone and were told that their old plan was no longer valid for some reason and they had to choose one of the shiny new plans, they got for free.

[Head]

Man I wish we had grocery shops for people that live in space ... if they dump the food through the airlock it would immediately freeze-dry and pretty much keep forever, right?

And they could preserve lawyers in the same way!

Yes, but why would they want to?

.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Seen on facebook after I made a comment about how in a just world, evil people would end up working in WalMart.

While in grad school working toward my doctorate I worked at WalMart & would just like to say that the job atmosphere at that particular branch, although we all worked for peanuts, was one of the happiest & most positive I have ever experienced. I was there 2 1/2 years, was very glad to have that job, & have good memories still. In the end, it all boils down to what you decide to make of a situation.

As for people who are supporting their whole family on "peanuts" and don't see a way out, ever (like most people who work in these places) WELL GOLLY GEE IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO WHAT YOU MAKE OF A SITUATION!!!!!

[Head]

While in grad school working toward my doctorate I worked at WalMart & would just like to say that the job atmosphere at that particular branch, although we all worked for peanuts, was one of the happiest & most positive I have ever experienced. I was there 2 1/2 years, was very glad to have that job, & have good memories still. In the end, it all boils down to what you decide to make of a situation.

Personally, I'd consider the chance to watch the passing parade of whatevertheyare-shoppers at Walmart a kind of bonus! Free entertainment as part of your salary. Where else could you get that? 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

While in grad school working toward my doctorate I worked at WalMart & would just like to say that the job atmosphere at that particular branch, although we all worked for peanuts, was one of the happiest & most positive I have ever experienced. I was there 2 1/2 years, was very glad to have that job, & have good memories still. In the end, it all boils down to what you decide to make of a situation.

Personally, I'd consider the chance to watch the passing parade of whatevertheyare-shoppers at Walmart a kind of bonus! Free entertainment as part of your salary. Where else could you get that?

Most places in the US, with the possible exception of at home, alone, with the doors locked and the curtains closed.
It's unusual to walk the dog around the block without seeing somebody with a spandex-clad shin-level stomach, shit stains, or a gummy combover with flakes of dead skin the size of dimes stuck in it.

I don't have to wait on them, though.

[Head]

Most places in the US, with the possible exception of at home, alone, with the doors locked and the curtains closed.

It's unusual to walk the dog around the block without seeing somebody with a spandex-clad shin-level stomach, shit stains, or a gummy combover with flakes of dead skin the size of dimes stuck in it.

I don't have to wait on them, though.

Well, there goes my appetite. 

Jesus, what happened over there?!!!!!

I shouldn't get too glib, I guess. It's all coming to a neighbourhood near me.

[Reginald Ret]

A pizza place I worked at a million years ago had that same policy, and the district manager informed me that the reasoning was that if homeless people knew that they could get free food there the restaurant would soon be overrun with homeless people just waiting for something edible to be thrown away.

Lord knows we don't want our trash dumpsters being sullied by the presence of the indigent.

I heard the same argument at a bakery i worked at.
We did get to take imperfect bread home as much as we wanted though.

Hmm, now i feel like going on a nightraid on the bakery trashcans and donating all the bread to the foodbank.

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

Actually, it's even more nefarious than that.

Read this and put 2 and 2 together:
http://consumerist.com/2012/01/priscilla-of-boston-spray-paints-unsold-wedding-gowns-to-keep-them-from-grubby-poor-people.html

[Salty]

The reason people want UNLIMITED DATA

is probably because, like me, they were told by the jerk at the store that "nobody ever goes over"

and then found that they were going over every fucking month and paying an extra $15 for something that, when they originally signed up before they got the new phone and were told that their old plan was no longer valid for some reason and they had to choose one of the shiny new plans, they got for free.

That would be a first world problem. 

However, you have offered a prime example of idiocy. Ok that came out wrong. 

"Nobody ever goes over that much data."

This is a line. And it's one I know well. It's the kind of lie that's created in a small laboratory by people wearing suits and plastic smiles. These are not little people, nor are they big people. They too are probably just trying to get by, I'll bet. That doesn't mean they aren't contributing to, propagating, or intensifying the idiocy. 

They send that little package out and get it to the people who give it to the people who give it to...well, you. 

It's the kind of lie that's easy to believe, especially when coming out of the mouth of someone who says it over and over and over. Of course, you don't have to buy into that, as a salesperson. You can simply talk to people, uncover their needs, and offer the most appropriate solutions available. But why would you do that when there isn't a single synapse that fires that hasn't been outlined by a combination of pop culture, religion, television, and idiot peers? What else WOULD these people say to you?

It's the kind of lie that's easy to believe because it sounds RIGHT. 
It's the right thing to say. 
It's the right thing to do

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Actually, it's even more nefarious than that.

Read this and put 2 and 2 together:
http://consumerist.com/2012/01/priscilla-of-boston-spray-paints-unsold-wedding-gowns-to-keep-them-from-grubby-poor-people.html

"Sitting in my kitchen, stuffed from having ate,
What should I do now with what's left on my plate?
Maybe I should save it, but nah I got the cash
Think I'll take the easy way and throw it in the trash
AREN'T YOU HUNGRY??!!!??"

- Priscilla of Boston aka that fat turd Bill Milano