Luna's Adventures in Payroll

[Richter]

I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

WOW.

I'm glad you're getting the hell out of there. Can you even imagine the legal fallout if her purse got stolen?

Yes.  I can.

Letters to every employee involved, saying, "we were careless, and you live the rest of your life in fear of identity theft."  Legal bills.  The unions going (properly) batshit.

My own perspective is only from banking, but there may be some requirement to provide ID theft monitoring and resolution services to any client (internal or external) who's personal info is compromised.  Even if not required, they are cheap to provide compared to the criminal and civil fallout of only a few of those producing ID theft incidents.  If anything more serious happens, make certain to get paper trail showing you brought this to your boss and/or other appropriate department authority.  It's a good way to avoid anyone trying to say later that you committed "willful blindness" to the issue. 

[Luna]

I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

WOW.

I'm glad you're getting the hell out of there. Can you even imagine the legal fallout if her purse got stolen?

Yes.  I can.

Letters to every employee involved, saying, "we were careless, and you live the rest of your life in fear of identity theft."  Legal bills.  The unions going (properly) batshit.

My own perspective is only from banking, but there may be some requirement to provide ID theft monitoring and resolution services to any client (internal or external) who's personal info is compromised.  Even if not required, they are cheap to provide compared to the criminal and civil fallout of only a few of those producing ID theft incidents.  If anything more serious happens, make certain to get paper trail showing you brought this to your boss and/or other appropriate department authority.  It's a good way to avoid anyone trying to say later that you committed "willful blindness" to the issue.

I don't have any paper trail, unfortunately, I told the boss, verbally.  However, the woman who shares the office is also aware, and knows that I told the boss, and should be able to cover my tail, if it comes to that.  However, pointing out that, at the very least, paying ten bucks a month for identity theft insurance, for THAT many employees, for a couple years...  That's some fairly massive liability exposure.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I would suggest emailing the temp agency about it. Just something along the lines of "On [date] my replacement took home [the sensitive payroll documents you described]. I informed my supervisor, and he said that he would speak with her, but I wanted to send you an email letting you know, because it made me very uncomfortable."

The real purpose of this email, of course, is to create a paper trail. It might not be a bad idea also to email your boss, saying "I just wanted to thank you for meeting with me on [date] about the issue with [name] taking home the payroll documents. I was a little panicked because after years in payroll it's so deeply ingrained in me that those documents leaving the building poses a security risk, but I feel better knowing that you will let her know not to do it again."

The reason I say this is that if this woman is the boss' friend, and something does happen, it would not be at all surprising for them to scapegoat  the temp. 

[Luna]

I would suggest emailing the temp agency about it. Just something along the lines of "On [date] my replacement took home [the sensitive payroll documents you described]. I informed my supervisor, and he said that he would speak with her, but I wanted to send you an email letting you know, because it made me very uncomfortable."

The real purpose of this email, of course, is to create a paper trail. It might not be a bad idea also to email your boss, saying "I just wanted to thank you for meeting with me on [date] about the issue with [name] taking home the payroll documents. I was a little panicked because after years in payroll it's so deeply ingrained in me that those documents leaving the building poses a security risk, but I feel better knowing that you will let her know not to do it again."

The reason I say this is that if this woman is the boss' friend, and something does happen, it would not be at all surprising for them to scapegoat  the temp.

Not a bad idea at all, that...  Also, might open the "get me the hell out of here before the extend this crap AGAIN" conversation. 

[Luna]

I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

[Wolfgang Absolutus]

I don't know that I could ever work in an uptight office. All the artificial interactions and drab decorating would really harsh my mellow.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

Clearly she's an expert at blowjobs or blackmail because for her actual job, she got nuthin'.

[Luna]

I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

Clearly she's an expert at blowjobs or blackmail because for her actual job, she got nuthin'.

I'm STILL trying to figure out why the fuck she was hired.  It was NOT for any experience (she has none).

She knows SOMEBODY, she has to.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

Clearly she's an expert at blowjobs or blackmail because for her actual job, she got nuthin'.

I'm STILL trying to figure out why the fuck she was hired.  It was NOT for any experience (she has none).

She knows SOMEBODY, she has to.

And know she knows a lot more people, what with the info she 'borrowed'.

[Luna]

Joy.  I am behind.  The journal entries (which are massive) from the last payroll aren't done, because every time I tried to work on them, Nitwit interrupted me.  This, even after, "I HAVE to focus on this." 

This is a payroll week, and yesterday was a holiday, AND they were upgrading the servers, so even if I wanted to come in and work, I couldn't.

This morning, I get in bright and early... and IT comes in to work on our tower.  Another hour or more lost.

Fuck.

[Luna]

Update:  Nitwit took over the reins on April 1st, leaving yours truly back on unemployment.  Time was spent being pursued and permitting myself to be caught by an awesome guy.  (We have a NESpag get together when he doesn't have the kids and we're not off doing SCA stuff and you can meet him.)  Job hunted, the job market sucks...

I get a call from the temp agency.  "(School you were at) called, if you're available, they want you back for 2 months." They tell me "someone else is out," no more details.  I know my officemate is out on medical, I figure maybe they want me to cover for her in AP.  I send them back for more details.

Turns out Nitwit quit, gave less than a week notice.  So, I am right back where I was, except with a couple recent interviews, and one lined up this week.

Today's gripe:  entitled assholes whose weekly pay is more than twice my own bitching when multiple thousand plus dollar bonuses hit their pay the same week, and they get "screwed" on taxes.

There is a reason they don't let me wear a sword.

[Triple Zero]

Read that as "don't let me use swear words"

Can't you negotiate for longer than 2 mo?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

DID THEY MENTION CHAINSAWS?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

They are hourly, and under a union contract, yes.  And, yes, the union hasn't done anything to cover them during the summer.

In RI, presumably, it's the concept that "you KNEW you weren't going to work over the summer, since it's a school, and voluntarily took the position with that understanding in mind, so it's NOT involuntary."

Is what it is.

That's the most pussified union I've ever heard of.

[Luna]

Read that as "don't let me use swear words"

Can't you negotiate for longer than 2 mo?

I do not want to be here for longer than 2 months.  I am hoping that the interview on Wednesday provides me with an awesome job with benefits which pays several dollars an hour more than I'm getting, here.