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AND THE EPA FUN NEVER STOPS

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 04, 2012, 05:52:04 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

June 04, 2012, 05:52:04 PM
How many fucking regulatory bodies need to respond to a loss of containment?  ALL OF THEM.  Because they DON'T TALK TO EACH OTHER.  I have been inspected on the same thing 6 TIMES NOW.  Creepy part:  All 6 inspectors looked like carbon copies of each other, with minor variations in hair color.  Other than that, they all had the same pop-bottle glasses, the same scraggly mustache, the same EXACT clothes, etc.

It's like I'm in some dystopian novel, being attacked by clones bearing Blackberries. 

Where the fuck do these people come from?  They're not zombies, yet they seem lifeless.  They all talk like they're stoned.  I knew civil service was bad, but I wasn't prepared for THIS.  Even the people in the IRS can smile, for fuck's sake, even if it's only when they see bad car accidents.

We can only hope that they don't breed true without the assistance of some sort of evil science.  In some ways, they're worse than the 500 pound WalMart People™, even though not one of them has a spare ounce on them.

Note:  I have 4 more inspections this week.

Words cannot express how much I hate humanity right now.  You should all SHUT UP and GET OFF OF MY PLANET. 

Or kill me.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#1
June 04, 2012, 06:24:47 PM
Fuck.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
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Nephew Twiddleton

#2
June 04, 2012, 06:26:59 PM
You should start snapping pictures of them and do that what would your baby look like website thing and show it to the third guy who comes in. Or ask them if they ever watched the x files and if theyre part of that hybrid project.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

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TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

LMNO

#3
June 04, 2012, 06:28:14 PM
I will gladly relocate off this planet, sir, when you have finished responding to the Q2 regulatory audit.  In quadruplicate.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
June 04, 2012, 06:30:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 04, 2012, 06:28:14 PM
I will gladly relocate off this planet, sir, when you have finished responding to the Q2 regulatory audit.  In quadruplicate.

:walken:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
June 04, 2012, 06:31:36 PM
Quote from: Twiddlegeddon on June 04, 2012, 06:26:59 PM
You should start snapping pictures of them and do that what would your baby look like website thing and show it to the third guy who comes in. Or ask them if they ever watched the x files and if theyre part of that hybrid project.

LESSON #1:  WE DO NOT SASS EPA INSPECTORS.

Not because you'd get fired, but because they can put you in prison very easily.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#6
June 04, 2012, 06:33:18 PM
And you know the first item on their check sheet is:  "Does respondee look like someone who gave me a wedgie/swirley combo in high school?"

Anna Mae Bollocks

#7
June 04, 2012, 06:34:49 PM
TGRR's description sounds kind of like hipsters. Somebody granted power to hipsterz.  :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
June 04, 2012, 06:35:25 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 04, 2012, 06:33:18 PM
And you know the first item on their check sheet is:  "Does respondee look like someone who gave me a wedgie/swirley combo in high school?"

Actually, I don't think they even have that much emotion.

When they talk to each other, it's almost like "1011000111001100001110".  They are machine people.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#9
June 04, 2012, 06:35:58 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 04, 2012, 06:34:49 PM
TGRR's description sounds kind of like hipsters. Somebody granted power to hipsterz.  :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:

Nooo, they look like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
June 04, 2012, 06:36:45 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 04, 2012, 06:34:49 PM
TGRR's description sounds kind of like hipsters. Somebody granted power to hipsterz.  :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:

No, more like bloodless nerds.  Like nerds with antifreeze in their veins.  Cool and calculating, and unsympathetic to mankind.  As some guy once said.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
June 04, 2012, 06:37:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 04, 2012, 06:35:58 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 04, 2012, 06:34:49 PM
TGRR's description sounds kind of like hipsters. Somebody granted power to hipsterz.  :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:

Nooo, they look like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip.

Just google imaged.

SPOT FUCKING ON.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#12
June 04, 2012, 06:44:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2012, 06:37:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 04, 2012, 06:35:58 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 04, 2012, 06:34:49 PM
TGRR's description sounds kind of like hipsters. Somebody granted power to hipsterz.  :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:

Nooo, they look like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip.

Just google imaged.

SPOT FUCKING ON.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.



:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Telarus

#13
June 05, 2012, 07:05:49 PM
Telarus, KSC,
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(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
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Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
June 05, 2012, 10:14:30 PM
You have got to be kidding me.

:horrormirth:

Also, I have a theory about environmental scientists who go to work for the EPA. Environmental scientists, like people in public health and sociology, start out all idealistic and optimistic about changing the world for the better, and fixing things. In school, they learn that everything is fucked and the government is heinously corrupt, so the good ones, in possession of this knowledge, choose to work for local and State agencies or slightly less-evil corporations. This leaves the environmental science equivalent of George Zimmerman, who brainwash themselves into believing that the EPA is not one of the three most corrupt government agencies in the USA and that they are Saving The World by riding herd on overworked maintenance managers.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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