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KILLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 06, 2012, 05:38:25 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

June 06, 2012, 05:38:25 PM
WHO MADE THIS FUCKING COFFEE?  It tastes like it was percolated through Phyllis Schafly.  I have had some BULLSHIT COFFEE in my day, but THIS takes the fucking cake!  Whomever is responsible for this should be dragged behind an uncovered dumptruck full of COLTROPS.

Richter would never put up with this sort of garbage.  He'd just haul out some homemade medieval bludgeony thing and go batshit right through the office.  Nigel would simply peel everyone like grapes.  ECH would slap people until they FUCKING WENT BLIND.

But me?  I'm a Goddamn HOLY MAN™, and as such am supposed to show some fucking COMPASSION or some such nonsense.  Therefore, I shall restrict myself to putting salt in the coffee creamer.  A LOT of salt.

What's the world coming to, I ask you, when a SIMPLE FUCKING CUP OF COFFEE can be allowed to RUIN MY WHOLE DAY?

Kids in Africa don't have it this bad.

Or Kill me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#1
June 06, 2012, 05:40:22 PM
Oh dear...

Perhaps ask Ernie if his angels are responsible. Wave radio around as necessary.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Anna Mae Bollocks

#2
June 06, 2012, 05:49:08 PM
If it was percolated through Phyllis Schafly, you might want to call the HAZMAT guys.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

E.O.T.

#3
June 06, 2012, 06:36:44 PM


YAAAY!!
"a good fight justifies any cause"

Luna

#4
June 06, 2012, 06:45:50 PM
I go in early just so I can make the fucking coffee.  It's safer that way, and I don't have to kill anybody.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
June 06, 2012, 11:24:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2012, 05:38:25 PMTherefore, I shall restrict myself to putting salt in the coffee creamer.  A LOT of salt.

This is goddamn brilliant! Holy shit.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
June 06, 2012, 11:27:20 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 06, 2012, 11:24:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2012, 05:38:25 PMTherefore, I shall restrict myself to putting salt in the coffee creamer.  A LOT of salt.

This is goddamn brilliant! Holy shit.

They know, they know...But they can prove NOTHING!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Phox

#7
June 06, 2012, 11:55:20 PM
I would suggest that you tell everyone that you like your coffee with lots of creamer, then insist that EVERYONE try it. Even if they don't like coffee, and especially if they may be tenuously responsible for it. In fact, I'd say the fact that it is there and no one has fixed it makes them all party to the plot anyway.
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