On the Nature of the Truth™, selected fragments (more or less as I think of them

[Vaud]

How do they stand it?  All worried about what other people think about them and all pissed because they're all worried about what they think other people think about them and thinking this whole mess is somehow YOUR fault.

But I know...There is no answer because they CAN'T stand it.  And that's why they ARE the way they are.  They long since got to the point where they stood on their rooftops and shouted "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!" and NOTHING HAPPENED.  Then they said it AGAIN but EVEN LOUDER and STILL nothing happened.  Even LESS NOTHING happened than last time.

So they took whatever internal regulator there is in people off and the flywheels are spinning and screaming and red hot and emitting a foul-smelling smoke. And they don't have the BALLS to become SERIAL KILLERS so they just get MORE NASTY.

Why do you REALLY think we are supporting a pointless and obviously morally fucked-up war?  Do you fools think it really has anything to do with POLITICS?  Do you think it has anything to do with THE MEDIA?  Do you think it is because of GREED?

If so, WAKE UP PUPPET BOYS!  You've become CYNICAL, but not CYNICAL ENOUGH.  You've become CYNICAL, but not to the point that you LAUGH UNTIL YOUR GUTS BLEED.  You've become CYNICAL, but not cynical enough to believe that a whole nation of overfed, overindulged fatass fabulously wealthy white people can support the organized destruction of a nation of brown people NOT because they believe in it, NOT because they're STUPID, NOT because they've been duped by some well-organized CABAL, but simply and for no other reason than that they are NASTY and ILL-TEMPERED.

We WANT to kill thousands, or tens of thousands of NASTY SMUDGY PEOPLE not because we have ANY reason whatsoever for it but because we are MAD at our husbands, wives, children, brothers and sisters because they changed the TV CHANNEL while we were WATCHING SOMETHING, and we haven't got the BALLS to stand up for ourselves so we TAKE IT OUT ON SOMEBODY ELSE.

There IS no other reason, and that's why you can talk politics until you're blue in the TITS but you will NEVER find a political reason which explains it SANELY.

We go to war because we are NASTY CHICKENSHITS who DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PETTY-ASS FRUSTRATIONS which constitute our LIVES.

No this is not the CLEAN FLAME THROWER WHITE HATE of a MUTANT DISCORDIAN I'm talking about here.  Just LOOK at them.  LOOK at the nasty bitter pinched evil faces around you, Brothers & Sisters. They aren't even capable of getting PISSED OFF correctly.  They DISLIKE their own ODOR.

You know who you are.  You know if you are one of them.  You know if you have been there chewing on your own teeth hating everybody while HOPING DESPERATELY that they LIKE you.  And you know, if a little part inside of you responds to that description, that it is CUNTS LIKE YOU that allow all the -real- evil in the world to go on.

Fuck you all and the armadillos you rode in on.

HOLY FUCKING FUCK!  SHIT FUCK!  I want everyone to read this, Roger!

[Doktor Howl]

An epic haiku, based on a nightmarish image I had of Nigel in her new job, if her new job was in Tucson and done by Arizona rules.

I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Retards".
Nigel holds the gun

Her shadow engulfs
Her hair is blocking the sun
She thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Nigel simply does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Nigel
I'm just retarded

A flash of bright light
She shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how retards talk

Nigel laughs at me
I'm really bleeding a lot
Why is she so mean?

Nigel aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't she kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The girl who shot me chuckles
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
Because I am retarded
The Law is very clear

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not a hipster
That would REALLY suck.

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates retards too.

Bump.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

An epic haiku, based on a nightmarish image I had of Nigel in her new job, if her new job was in Tucson and done by Arizona rules.

I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Retards".
Nigel holds the gun

Her shadow engulfs
Her hair is blocking the sun
She thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Nigel simply does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Nigel
I'm just retarded

A flash of bright light
She shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how retards talk

Nigel laughs at me
I'm really bleeding a lot
Why is she so mean?

Nigel aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't she kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The girl who shot me chuckles
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
Because I am retarded
The Law is very clear

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not a hipster
That would REALLY suck.

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates retards too.

Bump.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Fuck you all and the armadillos you rode in on.

THIS is my ultimate keeper. Because Texas.

[Ben Shapiro]

Advice for young people:

Just wave a banana, point at your crotch and hoot.  If it works at the zoo, it'll work at a rave.

CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP LAUGHING!

[Ben Shapiro]

An epic haiku, based on a nightmarish image I had of Nigel in her new job, if her new job was in Tucson and done by Arizona rules.

I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Retards".
Nigel holds the gun

Her shadow engulfs
Her hair is blocking the sun
She thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Nigel simply does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Nigel
I'm just retarded

A flash of bright light
She shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how retards talk

Nigel laughs at me
I'm really bleeding a lot
Why is she so mean?

Nigel aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't she kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The girl who shot me chuckles
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
Because I am retarded
The Law is very clear

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not a hipster
That would REALLY suck.

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates retards too.

YES!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

An epic haiku, based on a nightmarish image I had of Nigel in her new job, if her new job was in Tucson and done by Arizona rules.

I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Retards".
Nigel holds the gun

Her shadow engulfs
Her hair is blocking the sun
She thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Nigel simply does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Nigel
I'm just retarded

A flash of bright light
She shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how retards talk

Nigel laughs at me
I'm really bleeding a lot
Why is she so mean?

Nigel aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't she kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The girl who shot me chuckles
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
Because I am retarded
The Law is very clear

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not a hipster
That would REALLY suck.

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates retards too.

YES!

I do hope that's been posted at the poetry site.

[Vaud]

An epic haiku, based on a nightmarish image I had of Nigel in her new job, if her new job was in Tucson and done by Arizona rules.

I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Retards".
Nigel holds the gun

Her shadow engulfs
Her hair is blocking the sun
She thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Nigel simply does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Nigel
I'm just retarded

A flash of bright light
She shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how retards talk

Nigel laughs at me
I'm really bleeding a lot
Why is she so mean?

Nigel aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't she kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The girl who shot me chuckles
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
Because I am retarded
The Law is very clear

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not a hipster
That would REALLY suck.

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates retards too.

This is so fucking awesome. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  This was worth revisiting.

[Pergamos]

I don't think I like the idea that retarded people deserve to die by being shot in the knee and bleeding out.  Maybe I am missing something.

[LMNO]

I don't think I like the idea that retarded people deserve to die by being shot in the knee and bleeding out.  Maybe I am missing something.

Yes, you are, which is why I suggest wearing Kevlar kneepads.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't think I like the idea that retarded people deserve to die by being shot in the knee and bleeding out.  Maybe I am missing something.

The idea that you are CLEARLY FUCKING MISSING SOMETHING is an intriguing idea.

Jesus H Christ.  Yes, Permagos, you've been here how long?  And 11 years of me leaving turds all over the place which clearly frown on harming the helpless certainly indicates that I really believe that retarded people should be shot and left to die, and also that Nigel would be willing to murder retarded people in cold blood, right?  Right right right?

UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

So you're safe.  Nobody's gonna shoot you.  Retard.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

A thought about "freaking the mundanes":  "Normal" people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and jerked around.  It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier.  It does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the normals just because we're assholes.  They are the ones who keep everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts and show them to each other.  THEY are not the target audience for that sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of "normals" they will suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more.

Did I ask you before about stealing this? I thought I did...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A thought about "freaking the mundanes":  "Normal" people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and jerked around.  It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier.  It does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the normals just because we're assholes.  They are the ones who keep everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts and show them to each other.  THEY are not the target audience for that sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of "normals" they will suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more.

Did I ask you before about stealing this? I thought I did...

Go ahead.